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I should explain that at various times in my life I have attended church (Protestant) partially in an effort to learn the 'Christian way' of working with people.
I constantly heard that you should show love, turn the other cheek and so on.
Well, I tried this way many times in and to be fair, it has had it's share of success in that people have reciprocated likewise. However, there are many people who look upon the attitude of showing Christian love as a weakness and I feared laughed behind my back. To add to the insult I despaired and felt angry that 'the Christian way' did not work consistently.
It was so refreshing to find Dr Hauck's book in my local lending library that I read it straight through in one sitting.
I had heard of 'assertiveness' previously, but it all seemed too complicated in that much thought had to be given before you replied during dialogue with others.
Whereas, with Paul Hauck's version, you sort your whole fairly simple philosophy beforehand and then act in accordance.
This book also showed me just how silly some of my thinking had been wrong over the years. For example, I totally feared being rejected. Dr Hauck put it quite simply that rejection was not the worst thing in the world to fear and life could still go on quite successfully.
He had me 'in the palm of his hand' by now and sure enough I changed my attitude to that advocated by the author with a close member of my family. Previously, I did everything in my power to stop a split between us and suffered by that person(s) thinking they could do what they liked and I would always be there. I disliked myself for allowing me to be treated that way.
Along came this book and I sorted myself out and changed my attitude and 'took on' this person(s) in a way that left my self-esteem intact.
I have to report that the person(s) has indeed rejected me, which is sad, but I can now see that it is not the absolute end of the world as I had previously thought.
If the person(s) concerned want to come back into my life sometime in the future, it will be on an understanding that it must be mutually beneficial and not just satisfactory for them. As Paul Hauck states they have been shown some 'tough love'.
I am so convinced that Dr Hauck has the best approach for human relationships as we understand them at this time that I went out and purchased 5 copies of his other titles.
One vitally important point is that this author does not use 100 words when 20 will do. I wish that I could meet this author face to face so that I could tell him that he has helped me 'grow up' in my dealings with others many years ahead than would have been the case I not visited my Library on that particular day.
Thank you Dr Hauck from the bottom of my heart.
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One happy reader(with a job) :)