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Taking issue with the tendency of physicians to over-use estrogen as the answer to women's problems, Kamen demonstrates, with clear scientific evidence, that natural progesterone is actually the hormone we should be using.
Betty Kamen's book is easy-to-read and highly informative on every aspect of the subject of female functioning and hormones. Her conversational style and the many illustrations made this scientific book read like a novel! Highly recommended - whether you're having menstrual problems or are menopausal. progesterone is actually the hormone that needs supplementation.
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This book incorporates not only the premise that problems arise within a family system but also within the context of cultural assumptions. Our society values earning and power, thus the Golden Rule (She/he who has the gold, rules). Though each marriage partner has individual problems, these problems arise from the patterns of relating we learn from our parents and our families of origin. Until we understand them, we recreate them in our own marriages. This book, along with David Schnarch's book, Passionate Marriage, will really get your brain churning!
Carter shows how the traditional model of marriage has not changed fast enough to successfully support the other ways that society has changed. The traditional model is one breadwinner and one homemaker in a heterosexual first marriage. This is how most of us were raised, and perhaps more importantly, it is the model that society, for the most part, is currently set up to support and value. While many young people today intend to share expenses and responsibilities equally with their partners, when we get married, especially if we have children, we tend to unconsciously fall back into thinking according to the traditional model. There's nothing wrong with both partners choosing a traditional marriage; the problem is that many of us do not make fully conscious choices about marriage. Instead, we unwittingly buy into a model that does not in fact (usually) serve either party well.
What's particularly brilliant about the way that Carter explores these issues is that she shows the reader why it matters and how it can change. The book includes useful stories about real people's marriages, and the emphasis is on what was making these people unhappy, what was keeping them from seeing all of their options, how they learned to consider and embrace new options, and whether and how their marriages changed. Because the stories are selected so well and integrated so nicely with the broader exploration of social issues, the book is easy to read and the relatively complex social issues are made very accessible.
The book does not say that money always equals power, but points out that the two are generally equated in American society. It also points out that without autonomy, people do not generally feel equal -- because they really aren't equal in the sense of having the same options. Autonomy--being able to stand on one's own--is so linked with money, not just emotionally, but in reality, that it is important for us to understand the implications of who makes how much money and how the money is shared.
The book also makes it clear that there are two kinds of power, "power over and power to." The book does not advocate that anyone use power over another person, whether that power is in the form of money, affection, or anything else. It does show us why people sometimes do that, and how to think about and deal with people who come from that perspective. It also shows us how people can learn to use the "power to" make themselves happier. Many women are uncomfortable with any type of power, including the power to be happy and even to protect ourselves. This book helps us understand why it is a bad idea to pretend that there are no power issues or power struggles in a relationship, and why it is a good idea to learn more about these dynamics. But its focus is by no means how to win a power struggle. Rather, it shows us how a better understanding of these dynamics can help us negotiate a win-win marriage.
It also, by the way, describes how to negotiate a win-win divorce, with emphasis on how to best support and nurture children during and after divorce.
The book also emphasizes the importance of looking at the family as a system, and shows how our experiences in our families of origin play a shockingly large role in our relationships with our spouses. It includes very helpful examples of how people have reconnected with their "impossible" parents in order to learn more about themselves and the family themes that have shaped their expectations and assumptions (which are often hidden).
In short, this is a book about how to be happier. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to learn how to be happier in a committed relationship.
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This is one of the better Betty Neels books. It's the first I've read that takes place in Vienna. Both Charles and Cordelia are English. She is governess to his niece (a temporary post). The descriptions of the city are done so that you'd like to go there. Ms. Neels describes the food and clothing with an eye to detail. I love the way she gives the whole menu everytime anyone eats. Good story, strong heroine and love. Another hit by a terrific author.
A joy for loyal Neels readers and a wonderful introduction to the Neels magic for new readers.
If they ever get smart enough to put it out in some hard cover form, I will snap up a copy - as I have dog eared my current copy !!
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She describes well the hard life of playing the role of a lady singer in a jazz band, the fun of being with some of the best names in the business, and how this whole experience shaped her life. Her feeling of being lucky do what has been a fulfillment of a life's dream while associating with some of the greatest names in Jazz and the music industry of this period permeates the book. This is true even when she describes the details of suffering through the some of the hardships of a musical career. Her philosophical summary in the last chapter of the book was touching and wonderful to read.
Betty has included some excellent source material in her book including names, dates, and photographs of many famous jazz musicians of the 20th century.
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In another we find the plotter's coming up against the impasse of mother's failing digestive system: "What did you find out?" she asked. "Maybe these," I said, picking up the Dalmane. "How many?" "Probably around fifteen...or more." ...She looked at the bottle again and frowned. "How will I be able to take fifteen pills?" "That's the problem," I said, "But we're gathering other ideas." "What other ideas?" Oh God, I thought, please stop. She sighed and turned her head to the wall. "Maybe you could take me to the roof of this building. I hear it's nice up there." I looked down at my hands. It was getting hard to tell when something was a joke. "Your digestion could improve, Mother. That could happen." She nodded. "So I can't die until I feel better."
Staying on the safe side, legally, meant making mother's suicide seem unassisted, and this involves Betty and Ed in detailed mental shuffling. Who will discharge the night nurse? Will the next day nurse be able to handle finding her patient dead and will she wonder why no night nurse met her at the door? How to keep a certain relative from calling that night? Who can be found to check in the night and make sure mother has not re-awakened in distress? Etc. Rollin learns, as she puts it, "A new respect for the intelligence of criminals." This book could, in all fairness be used to help families decide against assisted suicide as well as for it. In the end, Rollin's mother recovered sufficient digestive powers to keep her death potient down, and it was her continued mental lucidity and canny social skills - it was she who got the doctor to prescribe, it was she who rescheduled the nurses and fobbed off innocent relatives - that were the key to bringing it off. She ate a bite of food 6 hours before the appointed time; took a Compazine 1 hour before; then at the appointed time, 20 tiny 100 mg tabs of Nembutal, chased by 5 Dalmane. All washed down with soda water. There you go, folks.
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