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I bought this book as a Christimas gift for my son and will now order another one for my friends' kids.
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This essay by Wellesley Professor of Philosophy Adrian Piper centers on two yogic practices, both much misunderstood, and worse, much misrepresented. The first is celibacy (brahmacharya). A lot of cant about how brahmacharya really means moderation or monogamy, sex within marriage only, or a non-lustful state of mind, etc., is given the ghost by Piper, who is a long practicing brahmacarin and expert on jnana yoga. Piper's first point is that brahmacharya means quite simply what it is purported to mean, that is, celibacy. Period. Of course this is hard to accept, and for young people well-nigh impossible, and so most "authorities" have cheapened the message, have compromised the intent, and have said, what is meant is "moderation," etc. Some cultist gurus have even exploited this "interpretation" by assuming this mentality as their mantra: "I make love to you and only you (at this time) because you are special. In this way I practice brahmacharya, I practice moderation and restraint."
Very appealing, but one might also slip through that eye of the needle and enter into the kingdom of heaven wearing a money belt. Piper has no such delusions. She's got it right. Celibacy is celibacy. That is why in the Hindu social philosophy one is first a student, and then a householder, then a mendicant and finally a renunciant. Householders are not celibate. In is only in the latter stages that one can be truly celibate. (There are exceptions of course, just as there are exceptional people.)
Having said this I must confess that I disagree with Professor Piper on one particular. She writes (p. 39): "...the policy governing self-stimulation for brahmacharins is: Hands above the sheets!" What this means, I imagine, is that one must, in so far as it is possible, not practice onanism. Instead one should realize that celibacy means, as Piper phrases it, "to walk with God." This reminds me of the Catholic tradition that has the nuns "married" to Jesus--although, of course the God that Piper is referring to, the God of the Vedas, is Ineffable, being beyond anything we can say or not say. I would differ with Piper by insisting that a complete understanding of celibacy includes this most important distinction of how one should practice sex, that is, quite simply, not with others. Instead one should make love to oneself. Indeed, this is part of self-study. To say that one should not practice sexuality at all is to remain ignorant. There are many reasons that the path of yoga includes brahmacharya, but the most important one is that the practice of celibacy is the best answer to the problem of sex. Sex leads to copious karmas created. It leads to distraction and worldly responsibility. Ultimately, it leads to birth and death, to the perpetuation of the wheel of karma, which is exactly what the yogi wants to get away from, what the yogi is working to transcend. One also acts through nonaction, the Gita teaches. A kind of non-touching of oneself only prolongs and exacerbates the excitement, the tension and leads further along the path to sensuality. That is why in tantra it is taught that the man should withhold...himself for as long as possible. This is not done to conserve his strength, as some strictures have it, but to prolong his and her enjoyment. Putting this minor disagreement aside, I have to say that Piper's delineation of brahmacharya demonstrates a profound understanding of the intent and practice of yoga.
Her essay is also about the somewhat infamous tantra of the left-handed path, which she calls "California Tantra," a felicitous phrase that captures the essence of the practice. Again, Piper's insight and expression reveals her deep understanding of the subject. As she writes (p. 56), "Variants on the general rule of thumb [for tantric yoga] might be: Party until you've gotten your yayas out; or until you've had enough partying for three lifetimes; or until you've learned the lessons from it you need to learn." This is tantric yoga in a nutshell: one finds liberation by giving into one's desires, it being believed that finally when the fires of youth are exhausted one will find samadhi (as Siddhartha does in Herman Hesse's celebrated novel). Piper acknowledges on page 55 that this liberation is "nothing to sneeze at." What she doesn't say in her essay is that tantra of the left-handed path is a torturous and very painful way of finding God, to be employed only when all else fails. It is the path of the junkie and the libertine; it is the roller coaster ride of exhaustive highs and lows; it is the path that will burn the aspirant out at an early age. It is dangerous.
Piper's final note is magnificent: "The point of
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Igor Aksenov, M.D., PhD, Director of Hyperbaric Medicine Programs for Saba University School of Medicine
It has long been recognized that the quality of care for the hyperbaric patient is dependent on a team of professionals working together for the good of the patient. This textbook clearly demonstrates that many of the common issues that contribute to quality of care have been evaluated from a number of perspectives: medical, technical, safety and now, nursing. The team is now complete.
I congratulate the authors for producing a seminal document that will help standardize the practice of hyperbaric nursing around the world.
W.T. Workman, MS, CHT
Director, Quality Assurance & Regulatory Affairs
Undersea & Hyperbaric Medical Society
Specific techniques are also covered such as trans-cutaneous oximetry and laser Doppler flowmetry. The elements necessary for hyperbaric nursing education are fully described. The book ends with coverage of hyperbaric nursing programs in various parts of the world.
Every hyperbaric nursing supervisor should see to it this text is available for his or her unit. It is a comprehensive reference. 400 pages, indexed.
Eric P. Kindwall, M.D.
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Valerie Harmsunderstands that not all love is meant to result in a relationship with the person arousing the love in one. Circumstances, including a relationship with someone else, may stand in the way. When such love is aroused, individuals often feel troubled from frustration, guilt, doubt, or a mixture of these and other emotions. But as Harms teaches, this need not be the case. As she says, "When we become attentive to our fantasies and dreams [aroused by love], loving and not condemning our deepest wishes, we give them a chance to direct and empower our lives." Adhering to this principle, she teaches how to make such love a positive experience.
In exploring this kind of love, Harms focuses on the self--how the self can maintain its wholeness and singular potential and be empowered by the love's creative, unpredictable forces. This positive involvement with the love she explores not only fulfills one as a person, but also enhances one's place and value in all relationships. Harms has one of the best understandings of love a reader can find. Among her previous books are "Stars in My Skin/Nin, Montessori, Steloff" and "Unmasking: Ten Women in Metamorphosis."
Henry Berry
Book Reviewer
Editor/Publisher, The Small Press Book Review
The use of personal examples makes it very clear how using dreams and symbolism can help us understand what it is in ourselves that needs developing. However, the book does not limit relationships to "mere" projection; it acknowledges that the inner and outer world work together. Both need to be recognized.
It is a pity that this book is out of print; this book is most helpful for the individual who is trying to make sense out of what sometimes seems like a very difficult realm to deal with. Many books do not honor the spirit of romantic attractions, and the relationship they have to our deepest self. The personal examples (bravely given) help elucidate this journey, and encourage us each to similar acts of courage in personal exploration. I have personally read this book several times, and I recommend it highly.
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Just Love Me, My Live Turned Upside-down by Alzheimer's
by Jeanne L. Lee
I think this book is a wake up to those of us who share in the care with someone with Alzheimer's. Jeanne tells it like it really is in words we can all understand. Jeanne has given me permission to use a few excerpts so that we can all begin to realize just what it feels like to those who have this horrible disease. Through reading this book, you will learn why you as a carepartner or caregiver need to have more patience and remember that it is the disease and not the person you love. Believe me, the person who has Alzheimer's or another dementia sure didn't ask for it. It is up to us, the TAB's (temporarily able brained) to learn to move into their world as best we can as they cannot, try as they may, always be able to cope in our world.
I offer my sincere thanks to Jeanne for sharing her life with us in order to help all of us have more understanding.
Page 26
Did you ever take a full minute to decide which way a key goes in the hole? Maybe once, but five times a day? Or look in a phone book and not know which letter follows which letter? Try to add three numbers together and get five different answers? Walk into someone's house that you have been in many times and take ten minutes to get oriented as to whose house you are in, and what you are doing there? Watch a TV movie and forget what it's about in the middle? Read for hours and hours, having enjoyed it while you were reading it, but then it's all gone? Ride the bus and forget where you're going, and have to hunt through your weekly agenda to see where you're going and why? That is, if you remember you have somewhere to check. Lose or misplace something, not just occasionally, but four or five times in an hour? I can misplace my pen ten times in an hour. I can misplace my glasses, even though I have a pair in my purse, another pair in the bedroom and another "wandering" pair. All of a sudden they're all wandering, and then they're all in my purse. I clean up the same pile of stuff four or five times before it gets where it's going, and I used to be the best organizer in the world. Now it takes me two hours to prepare before I go anywhere.
Page 32
Something that I also find disturbing, especially with groups, is that I have to frequently interrupt, because, if I don't, by the time they're finished with their story I've forgotten what I wanted to add. I have to get people to understand that they can remember their story, and after I've said what I need to say, before I forget it, I'll shut up and let them finish. So, I either interrupt or lose what I was going to say, and what I have to say may be important to the conversation. This is hard for someone like me who was taught not to interrupt when someone else is talking, but it's the only way now. It's an awful feeling, but if people were more aware that this is the case for someone with Alzheimer's that would help. For those who want to say something and can't find the right words, it makes it seem like you have no intelligence. Combine that with feeling rude for having to interrupt, well, sometimes you just feel it's easier to let the thought go. That is why so many withdraw and don,t talk. But I do not think people should have to do that.
A Note from Jeanne Lee
Jamie My purpose in writing the book was to help people. You have my permission to use what you see fit. Anything short of cover to cover is open to you. I admire you for the ribbon and if I can help please let me do so. I am on a journey for earlystage awareness and moving right along. I hope to do a greyhound bus tour from LA to Portland stopping at towns to lecture and do book signings. If that turns out OK and the funds last I will do Portland to Vancouver BC. I do not have the support of oour archaic AD association so this is a one woman challenge to open the eyes of all the islands. I even borrowed $6000 from a friend to represent the United States as a person with dementia at the International Alzheimer's Convention in Barcelona. I do not want to toot my own horn but just to show you that I really am an advocate. Aloha Jeanne
Thank you so much for The Ribbon.
Jeanne L. Lee
Author: "JUST LOVE ME"
My Life Turned Upside-down by Alzheimer's
She says it like it is for her, and much of what she describes is true for this reader who has come to grips with his own diagnoses of Alzheimer's, unipolar depression, obesity, kidney failure, alcoholism, emphysema, and now diabetics, all within the last two years.
Page after page she describes the various conditions of depression, alcoholism, dropping, forgetting, losing words, endless tests, denial by physicians, et al,, which plague all of us.
But thanks to the diagnosis, she is able to confront the denial of early continued sexual abuse, her own and her father's alcoholism, and multiple relationships.
The book is jumpy, and disjointed, but that is the nature of this species of dementia. Many of us demented ones have a huge sigh of relief, when all the eliminations are done, and the only culprit remaining is Alzheimer's,
This is not a book for those professionals who are determined to establish that those of us with the disease have no valid information to share with them. This is not a book for those who are only interested in working with the caregivers. This is not a book for those who say why do anything meaningful, since we won't remember the patterns anyhow. This is not a book for those who flaunt memory improvement exercises which deny the loss of the ability to learn. This is not a book for those who talk, but do not listen. It is a book for the rest of us.
Her main title says it all for this ALZer: "Just Love Me." But this love comes at a high price in the face of vincible ignorance.
We will talk, even if the words are jumbled. We will read, even if the continuity disappears. We will listen, even if the sentences disappear into a black hole. But most of all, we will love, even when we are not loved by those around us.
Lee has shown us the way out of our tunnels of loneliness and despair.
Lee says: "I know there are many people out there who neeeed to hear from others, like themselves, that it's okay to goof up; it's okay to do stupid things; it's part of what's happening to this body and brain. But it doesn't have to be all bad. There is so much good, and so much you can still do. So what if you can't remember somebody's name. You can still say hello to a little old lady. You can still give flowers to soneone . You can still look at the ocean [like I did on a Senir Retreat last week] and say, 'Oh God, I'm so lucky.'" And thanks to this book, that is exactly how I will spend my time remaining. Thank you Jeanne.
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If you have Paul Reps' famous "Zen Flesh, Zen Bones," you will recognize many of the stories in "Kindess" from there, but in a lushly expanded form. I am impressed by how Sarah Conover is able to expand a simple Buddhist tale without diluting it, and add detail without dragging it out. Everything seems necessary, even though I'm used to shorter versions of the same tales. This is the sign of good writing to me. Not all of the tales are long, though, so you can use it as a bedtime read regardless of the length of time you have available; there are stories you can read in 2 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes--whatever your time frame. What's nice, too, about the book is that it grows with the child. A year ago, my son's favorite tales were the simpler ones (though all are complex in the Buddhist way) such as "Great Joy the Ox" about kindness and "The Dung Beetle" which warns of the dangers of hubris. Now his favorite is a more conceptual story, "The Monk's Heavy Load," which treats the idea of being weighed down by resentments and memories.
Besides being delightful to read, the book is gorgeous to look at and hold. Only the cover illustration is multi-colored; those inside are sepia-toned, but this matters not a whit. Valerie Wahl's illustrations are carefully drawn to capture, (at most, one per story) precisely the key moment of each tale. An aphorism precedes each story also reflecting the theme of each tale. The pages are slick, heavy and a Zen pleasure to handle and turn, as long as the book lies flat on a table. The only negative point about the book's design is that its odd shape (a horizontal rather than vertical rectangle) and weight make it awkward for reading in bed. Hardcover children's picture books in this shape are easy to read, but this is a glossy paged book of 160+ pages which makes it both heavy and floppy (at least in the paperback edition I have). We've worked hard to keep ours in good shape, and we've succeeded, but it might be harder for families with lots of children (or less book obsessed parents).
I can't really imagine a person not liking this book, and if I could, I wouldn't want to meet him anyway. These tales drop lessons softly, the way fragrant blossoms fall from trees. They introduce children to Buddhism, which can't be a bad thing at any time, and can only help things these days. If you have no one for whom to buy this book, then do what I did and buy it for yourself and if, like me, you're worried that the child in your life may not like it, you very well might be proven wrong--much to your delight.
(Airways Magazine, Nov/Dec 1995:) Airliner cabin attendants are the focus of this fond review of Pan American's development, compiled by a writer and teacher of classical literature who served as a Pan Am stewardess in the 1960s. Lester writes well and has good material to work with...This is no mere 'coffee, tea, or me' treatment.
(American Aviation Historical Society:) An interesing, informative and different side of the story of the life and death of Pan American World Airways. Well worth the time to read and enjoy this well told historic series of tales. A book not to be missed by any airline history buff.
(Airliner Magazine:) Even the most learned student of Pan Am will reap a great deal of knowledge from this book....very well written and extremely interesting. It will bring back memories for those who worked long hours in the cabin and add insight for those who enjoyed the service administered by the men and women of Pan Am's flight attendant corps.