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A significant portion of "Wheel of Life" does deal with near death experiences, out of body experiences, after death communications and messages from Jesus. But the truly remarkable aspect of the book are not these fantastic, sensational paranormal accounts, rather what shines brightest is the measure of unconditional Love she has shown to the suffering throughout her life. Her long record of helping terminally ill patients cope and grow in death through unconditional Love and significant self sacriifice gives those paranormal claims a degree of crediblity that otherwise might not exist.
Every morning as I sit savoring my strong, black coffee, I think of Dr. Ross' lesson of Love.
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While these stages can be applied to death under any circumstance, I found the book primarily revolved around the terminally ill as opposed to someone who has died suddenly without prior warning. However, it is important to remember that even though death may not be anticipated at a particular moment in time, most of us go through the same stages of grief regardless of whether or not the death is anticipated or unanticipated. The book will NOT lessen the grief, but the words found here may help readers to understand the grieving process and that grieving is a natural life process, even though it feels very un-natural, confusing and totally devastating at the time.
Kübler-Ross also spoke to families, and followed people through their ailments, sometimes to recovery, but most often to their death. She let the people guide her in her research: 'We do not always state explicitly [to the patient] that the patient is actually terminally ill. We attempt to elicit the patients' needs first, try to become aware of their strengths and weaknesses, and look for overt or hidden communications to determine how much a patient wants to face reality at a given moment.'
This caring approach was often an aggravation for Kübler-Ross and her staff, because they would know what the patient had been told but was not yet ready to face. Kübler-Ross recounts stories of attempts to deal with death in different ways; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance -- in fact, the various stages of grief were first recognised in Kübler-Ross's research.
There are those who dislike the 'stages' theory of grief, but it is important to know (as the quote above indicates) that these are not set-in-stone processes, but rather dialectical and perichoretic in nature, ebbing and flowing like the tide, so that where a person was 'stage-wise' would vary from meeting to meeting.
Kübler-Ross explained her interest in this research by saying that 'if a whole nation, a whole society suffers from such a fear and denial of death, it has to use defenses which can only be destructive.' Her work is primarily geared to health-care providers, and provides verbatim transcripts of conversations with a wide range of people in different classes, races, family situations, education levels, and ages. The reader can then get a sense of how to better communicate with someone in a terminal situation.
'Early in my work with dying patients I observed the desperate need of the hospital staff to deny the existence of terminally ill patients on their ward. In another hospital I once spent hours looking for a patient capable to be interviewed, only to be told that there was no one fatally ill and able to talk. On my walk through the ward I saw an old man reading a paper with the headline "Old Soldiers Never Die". He looked seriously ill and I asked him if it did not scare him to 'read about that'. He looked at me with anger and disgust, telling me that I must be one of those physicians who can only care for a patient as long as he is well but when it comes to dying, then we all shy away from them. This was my man! I told him about my seminar on death and dying and my wish to interview someone in front the students in order to teach them not to shy away from these patients. He happily agreed to come, and gave us one of the most unforgettable interviews I have ever attended.'
She concludes with a chapter explaining the reactions of doctors, nurses, counsellors and chaplains, professionals who deal with the dying every day, on how the kinds of listening and care she outlines can change their work and lives as well. It is remarkable to see some of the transformations which take place among these people.
I have used the advice and insight given by this book in my own ministry, and heartily recommend it to everyone, regardless of medical or ministerial intent, for it can give guidance on how to deal with the deaths of friends or family members and, ultimately, our own death.
Death will never be a happy subject, but it needn't be a dark mystery devoid of meaning and guidance.
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Even though I've made my own peace by now, my heart still hurts for all the people around me who chase after romantic relationships, thinking that they have to "have" a girlfriend or boyfriend in order to find their own personal worth. I see friends who are on their way to being strong Christians get sidetracked, willing to sacrifice everything they know and believe about God and themselves just for the sake of feeling good about one particular relationship. That never works, and then they have to start from scratch not only romantically, but in their relationship with God that they've betrayed. No wonder it hurts so much!
Stop before you start. Really seek God's will in ALL areas of your life. And if you struggle with romantic temptations like so many of us do, then give Elisabeth Elliot a chance. This book sure made me mad the first time I read it--I thought she was terribly closed-minded. But I was the one who wasn't willing to change for God. Focus on your love story with him before you worry about anyone else.
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In the final chapter, however, when he tries to blame the horrors of modern total war on the psychology of the hoplite battle, he goes astray. As bloody and unpleasant as the hoplite battle was, it was really a system designed to limit non-combatant casualties. Only the soldiers on the chosen field of battle exposed themselves to injury while the city-states themselves suffered little behind their stout walls. Hoplite warfare was sort of like settling international disputes by means of a very bloody football game.
This all changed when Hoplite met Immortal in the Persian Wars. In addition to learning that the Immortals were misnamed, The Greeks learned total war from the East. In this war for survival as a civilization, the Greeks began to look on battle as more than bloody and sometimes fatal sport. The bloodbath that began at Marathon continued through Thermopylae, Salamis, and Plataea, and the Greeks began to understand warmaking in terms of total war. Hanson overlooks this Persian "contribution" to the Western way of warmaking.
Dr. Hanson makes a thorough and thoughful analysis of the Greek hoplites and the way they fought. From the hoplight to the their commander no stone is left unturned. But while the main emphasis on the book itself is the hoplight and Greek warfare in general there is much more to it than just that. The Greek hoplights were not successful because of their bravery or for their numbers, the Assyrians were brave and they outnumbered the Greeks in all their battles, then why was it the hoplight armies were so successful against the Assyrians. It was because of their orginization and their training (this is why I disagreed with the previous reveiwer). This then is the underlying theme to the book, not the heroics of one man but the performance of the whole.
The Greek structure of warfare will go on to conquer almost the whole ancient world under the hands of men like Alexander the Great, Scipio Africanus, Julius Ceasar, and the other great Roman generals of the ancient world. But the traditions of Greek warfare would go on to influence the later nations of the European world and from there the whole of the Western World.
Using a plethora of sources from ancient authors, battles, archeology, and others the author has managed to write an excellent resource that is original, readable, enthralling, and most importantly is its credibility. This is a must have for any student of military history, both professional and layperson alike.
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Some have suggested that her personal experience was too different from most people's to be applicable. To anyone with such a perspective, I would suggest that you are reading it all wrong! I don't think Elisabeth Elliot would suggest that everyone needs to have a Jim and Elisabeth duplication in their own lives before marrying. She offers principles that apply regardless of your personal circumstances.
A couple of very valuable highlights that stand out to me, years after getting married. Her chapter on "What can a kiss tell you?" was really right on. Physical communication is tempting, but actually, it shuts down the more important forms of communication for finding Mr. Right, and can actually give you a lot of regret.
I also valued the romance in Jim's perspective when he wrote to her, "I have you now unravished." He was grateful to look forward to the time when physical intimacy was right, and to leave something to look forward to! That is so completely romantic, and I think it is almost tragic that in today's society, that romance is almost unheard of. People take what isn't theirs don't relish the anticipation of getting it AT THE PROPER TIME. My husband and I went about it that way, and I found it very romantic, both the anticipation of the consumation of my marriage, as well as when that actually took place. I wouldn't have wanted to have cheated myself out of that beautiful memory!
Old fashioned? I suppose it is. Relevant and needed in this day and age? Absolutely. When you put your love life in God's hands, that is a safe place to leave it.
6 years later, I have found myself going through some hard times. The guy that I dearly love has moved away, and life just seems bleak. To further complicate it, our relationship had moved from friends, to more serious, then to a time of no communication at all, back into friends. It's been very, very hard on me. I've spent countless nights crying myself to sleep, trying to figure out God's will in this, and praying that the guy would come back. Trying to balance loving the guy unselfishly, while wanting him so badly. It was confusing to say the least.
Recently I saw this book on my shelf. I picked it up, intending to read a chapter or two. I read for hours. It was like every word was written just for me. I realized how far off the mark I was in putting God first in my life. I had wandered far away from what I wanted to be. This book brought that sharply to light. I felt that God was hitting me with a 2x4 saying "wake up, you need to learn some hard lessons."
In the course of re-reading it, I've cried, given things to God, struggled to honestly try to put God first, just to name a few things. This book is about love relationships, yes, but to me is it also about putting God first in one's life, no matter how difficult that may be. It is teaching me to love God with my entire being. I feel that it has completely changed my life for the better. I still am struggling, still crying, but I'm drawing closer to God, and realizing that He will never leave me. His Grace is sufficient for me... Thank you Elisabeth Elliot for writing this book, it is a God-send.