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Back at Reuben's San Fransiscan apartment, the two decide to partner up, just for a scam or two, until they can recoup their lost winnings. They develop a certain friendly-but-somewhat-suspicious camraderie, and, finding that they work rather well together, decide to see what they can get out of the figurine.
Grace and Reuben are wonderful characters - quite a refreshing change from the typical romance genre. Both are somewhat jaded and devious, yet the reader sees glimpses of basic goodness and kindness - even innocence - that only desperate circumstances and hard luck has served to temper in both of them.
The book drew me in immediately - action-packed from the get-go. The dialogue was quite clever, with lots of quite funny moments, as well as a couple of intricately impressive con schemes (where DOES Ms. Gaffney come up with this stuff?) Reuben and Grace are endearing, and I think any reader would soon find themself cheering for this couple.
Grace and Reuben develop a certain honor-among-thieves trust and friendship, and even grow to depend on one another (though they'd never admit it), and though there is a mutual attraction, they each inwardly determine to keep things neutral...until they find themselves caught up in the dangerous world of a deadly chinese mafia in Chinatown, the leader of which wants the little figurine quite desparately...and wants Grace even more.
Though the story is lively and witty, a deep, abiding love is developing between Grace and Reuben that is really quite touching and very deeply sexy. Reuben, though a shaking coward where knives are involved, a devious con-man when the moment calls for one, and a comic with an appreciation for the absurd, is probably the sexiest hero I've ever "met" in the pages of a book!
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April 10, 2002
The Crisis of Care is moving away from the technological, managerial aspect of caring. The need is to restore the concern and compassion for the need of the care receiver. Persons care for the wrong reasons. If it is not the aspect of filling the prescribed attention to a patient, very often there is the one who is interested to help or assist because they feel a sense of moral commitment or the sense that it will make them feel good. The editors quote Wuthnow's survey report that 42% of Americans were interested giving themselves for the benefit of others. The percentage dropped to 15% when asked if they were willing to sacrifice to help another person." (1994, p.23)
"From the time we were children, we were told by our parents and our grammar school teachers to "Pay Attention!" Even though we have grown inured to this injunction and shrug it off, there are few things in life more important." (1994, p. 28) Restoring those concerns for the individual, the context of their situation and what it is that needs to be protected for the care receiver is important.
Steven Covey in his writing cautioned against responding to the "Tyranny of the Urgent". In "The Crisis of Care," the chapter, "Teach Us to Care and Not to Care," says the caregiver who offers standardized responses to the needs or responds to that which gives only immediate relief, is not giving the full extent of care. There needs to be the caregiver who is will not only to pray for the receiver only, as an immediate answer to the problem, but who is willing to take the time to teach the receiver how to pray. This awareness of how to pray helps the person begin to understand that value can be found even in the experience of their suffering.
Creating a context of care, listening and reducing isolation are all important in care giving. It is not enough to know the facts about a person or even the facts about their situation. The concern is that one knows the issues and reasons, which surround those facts. This is important whether it involves the student in the school or the patient wrestling with the quality of life. "From a theological standpoint, any notions of caring we might have grow out of our divine vocation, to reflect in our lives together in the world the character of God, manifest in his covenant love, (the compassionate behavior of God)."
Phillips and Benner blend the use of narrative, dialogue and instruction to emphasize the strengths and weaknesses in present day care giving. The reoccurring issues of finding the context, the willingness to listen and the autonomy of the care receiver emphasize the point of the writing that care giving needs to move beyond the mechanical and technological response.
These are examples of the experts. Robert Bellah, a sociologist, argues for a rich, interpersonal world as he pleads for Americans to listen and see, by adopting an ethic of responsibility, of moral discourse, instead of control and commodification (13).
Patricia Benner, a professor of physiological nursing, advocates that, "effective caregiving requires more than intent or sentiment. It requires skill and knowledge and being in relation with others in ways that foster mutuality, empowerment, and growth" (45).
As a pastor and theology professor, Eugene H. Peterson describes the difference between genuine caring and control veiled as caring. Dr. Peterson believes that we are meant to open out toward our neighbors and open upward towards God, and that we can be whole and healthy humans only to the degree that we do this (69).
Pediatrician E. Dawn Swaby-Ellis states that "whatever the competing factions my challenge is the same: to be effective, efficient, and empathic" (84). Furthermore, she believes that caring for patients must come out of true concern and love for them (90). Her personal caring relationship with her patients was deeply validated by her exposure to the biopsychosocial model proposes by George Engel and expanded by Paul Tournie to include the spiritual dimension. Although, Dr. Swaby-Ellis praises many of her teachers, she declares the Holy Spirit to be her greatest teacher. "It is one thing to be a Christian who wishes to live a life of obedience to God by showing love to mankind. It is another thing to integrate our faith into the fabric of our being so that our actions mirror our spiritual belief" (93).
To Anna Richert, an educator, all teaching practice must help kids to grow through caring. Although there are increasing challenges and dangers educators deal with daily as they attempt to care by teaching in urban chaos, still "children need care and they also need to learn to care for one another. Ultimately they need to learn to care for themselves" (109). I agree with Richert that fundamental to teaching children to care is the fact that children "need to feel and be safe" which includes "needing to trust others, and having a sense that others believe in them" (109).
Phillips' book is a positive example of how ritual and relationship can fuse to embrace the unique personhood of students, patients, clients, and parishioners; thereby, humanizing what has been viewed as merely objective clinical processes and procedures. The distinguished practitioners and scholars who contributed stories and essays are to be commended for their efforts in providing authentic care themselves and in sharing their insights.
The stories are powerful. A Holocaust descendant's anxiety is relieved because the psychotherapist heard with an inner ear, the patient's real and heretofore unexpressed need. Attention to the not said and the unseen on the part of the caregiver is of terrific value when providing care. An abortion case is reviewed with some of the multiplicity of implications that are involved. "Sammy," a six years old Amish boy, kicked by a mule, is restored to health. The preparation of a simple meal and the opportunity to learn the history of an African-American woman's family (Ambrosia Jones) helped pave a road to recovery. Death by choice in a chapter of the same name is provocative. Blake's story is about the unattractive child. It presents the compassionate value of a mother's love, and reveals a doctor's openness to in-seeing and in-hearing, and thereby some profound learning occurs. Mrs. Clark's paralysis and the visiting male nurse's ritual and relationship pastoral care story are inspiring.
The insights are powerful. Benner wrote: "If we were able to replace our disease care system with caring practices that foster illness prevention and health promotion so that clinical wisdom could be fostered from caregivers and receivers alike, we would alter dramatically how we are spending our health care dollar" (59). Eugene Peterson described the pastor's task: "Pastors identify God in the action, God in the language" (74). Peterson's challenge was to learn when to care, and not to care. The Atlanta, Georgia pediatrician, Dr. E. Dawn Swaby-Ellis learned: "My greatest teacher in learning how to care has been the Holy Spirit" (93). Clinical Psychologist Mima Baird echoed the sentiment by contributing: "To care is to listen; to hear is to care" (96). Teacher Anna Richert noted that it lies within the ability to make authentic connections that the capacity for care is enhanced, and by implication, the significant educable moment can be realized. Professor Joel Green draws attention in his summary statement: "Just as we know the character of God only in the concreteness of our lives, especially within the community of God's people, so we recognize the threads and hues of human reflection of God's character only in the fabric of social life in the everyday world" (165).
Quickly paced, tightly written, and imaginative stories, and longer, but nevertheless interesting reflections and observations, make The Crisis of Care an excellent addition to every caregivers memory storehouse and personal library.
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This is the story of a young girl who grew up before our eyes in the glare of public scrutiny. She was born Honorable Diana Spencer, became Lady Diana Spencer upon the death of her paternal grandfather, and became Her Royal Highness, Diana, Princess of Wales, when she married. Sadly, when her marriage ended, it was agreed that whe would be addressed as Diana, Princess of Wales. Diana was the only child in the Spencer family who did not have a Royal as a godparent.
Diana, Princess of Wales, sponsored many organizations and took all of her duties seriously. However, she liked her role as MUMMY more than any other role. Her bedroom was within hearing distance of the nursery, and whenever she heard a cry, she was there instantly. This was certainly not in tradition in Royal Families. She was heard to say, "A Mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's." Diana wanted her children to experience the wold outside the palace, as well as, in the confines of the palace. She tried to give them as normal a childhood as possible which she succeeded in doing.
Diana was known not just in Britain, but the world over. People from all over the world loved Diana, and she became not only a princess, but queen of their hearts.
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Oliver uses one of the classic plot-lines in this book, that of indigent widow latching onto a young and naive man, who persuades himself that he's in love and wants to marry her. The twist, however, is that in this version of the plot the lady is no villain or harpy, as would usually be the case. Athena knows that she's not being entirely fair by Peregrine and feels guilty, but Peregine insists that he does love her, and he's very kind indeed to her daughter.
Peregrine's father, the Earl of St Aubyn, is (not surprisingly) none too happy about the engagement, and sets himself the task of separating the couple. However, he finds himself attracted to Athena, much against his will.
Again, Oliver doesn't resort to stereotypes: St Aubyn is by no means the heartless father. In fact, he is a sincere, caring and very moral man who hates what he has to do to detach Athena from his son, but does it because he loves his son. He does actually recognise Athena's merits, and the portrayal of his own dilemma makes this story all the more interesting.
In addition, Peregrine is also drawn very sympathetically. Even when - as could be expected - he falls in love with someone else, he doesn't forget his obligations, and he still keeps undertakings he's made to Athena's daughter.
All in all, a very enjoyable book, with a great cast of characters, including some minor ones who sound as if they deserve their own story!
Usually a hero who deliberately sets out to destroy the heroine's happiness is an arrogant, conceited jerk. Oliver's hero isn't the typical Regency rake concerned only with his egocentric indulgences but is a thoughtful-- if misguided -- man who also wants only what's best for everyone involved in a messy situation.
I found that despite a set-up that would have had me suspecting a silly heroine and an obnoxious hero, Oliver exceeded expectations and created two likable, caring people who deserve happiness... if only they can figure out a way to grab it. The author did an excellent job fleshing out characters with strengths and weaknesses that compliment each other so well that when the couple finally achieves the happiness they deserve you can only finish reading the book with a smile.
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