Upon reading UNDYING WILL, I became engulfed in Donna's vibrant use of language as she revealed to her reader, the tumultuous accounts of her experiences during and after her horrific rape. As her truly remarkable struggle to gain back her innocence, while fighting for justice, begins to unravel; I became absorbed in her accounts and it became even more riveting to me, and I was unable to put the book down until I had finished it. Being a rape survivor myself, I could not help the trigged emotions I was feeling, and was overwhelmed by the sudden rush of my own memories. Ms. Ferres was so articulate in her writing that I actually felt that I was right there with her, able to feel her every emotion. For someone who has never experienced such a treacherous event in their life they are soon able to feel what the experience was like for her, as she journeys through the accounts of that dreaded day, all the way through to the prosecution of the perpetrator. Like most victims Donna felt scared, hurt, lonely, bitter, and (Sadly enough) guilty, unfortunately these are the feelings that most survivors experience. These accounts truly bring survivors feelings to the forefront, letting others know that it is not only normal, but most of all that it is O.K. to feel this way. It should be mentioned that for any survivor of a sexual crime this book will trigger emotions that are not felt in their every day life and therefore should be in a "safe" place.
Marlena (mrs88888)

Actually I could not put the book down. Donna's details of her experience just kept me reading on and on. Hence I read the book in one evening. Every woman who is trusting of others should read this. I had my daughter read it just so she will be aware of crazy people out there that appear to be harmless. A must reading for all women.

This is the first book I have read actually written by the victim. Ms. Ferres is an excellent story teller with the book unfolding with her inner feelings and strife. Coming to within and inch of her life at the hands of a maniac she manages to get through the physical part of the trauma, being stabbed and beaten only to have the emotional beating nearly cause her demise later. Her accounts of the interaction with family, friends and people she doesn't even know brings to light our tremendous lack of understanding of the full impact of violence on our lives. While she relates that it just never goes away, the book is wonderfully written as it tells of the life she goes on to create for herself despite the obstacles she faces. I have never read a story like this. The messages in this book need to get out to the public. It will serve to create a better understanding and possibly stop the violence and misunderstanding of victims once and for all. This book is one that I read cover to cover on an emotional roller-coaster but ending on a high note of vindication and validation for all women and crime victims. It was a great experience and increased my understanding of victims tremendously. It is well written and packed full. All other books I have read on this line were written after the fact. This is different. This needs to be on Oprah.

Yes, I have all the stereotypes that are attached to my profession...critical, type A personality, sometimes ridiculously high standards, structured, can obsess over a situation/concern, loyal, and extremely limited with ways to use my time. When I discovered that my marriage was suffering because I just "couldn't find the time" to be a superwoman in bed..and beyond. After looking at my husbands frustration, and hearing him say one time too often.."I've become immune to the lack of sex" "can't miss whatI don't get.." I became concerned. I guess I thought that he SHOULD be attracted to me, even if we don't have sex as often as he wants. (Heck) I think 3 to 4 times a week is OUTRAGEOUS. It was great for dating, but who has the time anymore. BUT....then I read this book. It is GREAT!!! I went on line after I identified that the real problem could actually be me, and ordered over 20...yes 20.. books on love, sex, and marriage. I set out to FIX this problem. Well This book is giving me the foundation from which to build. The chapter on your "We don't have too much Sex life" was excellent. To follow up "Dealing With..Emotional Hang-ups," helped me as well. I must acknowledge that some of those hang-ups came about due to the lack of sex. To my female peers, I am sure that you will agree that men are so much more pleasant after you've made love. While reading I would run to my husband and say..."hey read this..let's get those tapes.." I discovered that the hard porn was okay, but it was too synthetic for me, and those women were dumb as an ox. Who actually comes in and says..."oh I want you to ... me" to an absolute stranger? Plus Dr. Ellen Wachtel didn't speak to me as if I was a patient. I couldn't comfortably read a book that sounds like the author has not had sex themselves in over a decade. Some books analyzed it from a medical point of view. Who cares about how one's testosterone level may effect one's Sex drive. I just want to please my husband and thereby please myself. I took my book everywhere! So, not to run on..which is another trait (smile) I just want to say---DO IT!! BUY THIS BOOK, and try out some of the suggestions Dr. Ellen Wachtel makes...AND wish me luck as I climb under the covers and give my hubby a new lease on our sex life. Bon Apetite!
SIDEBAR: please overlook the typos, I am just so excited about the book, I just finished it--I wanted to scribble off a note to share this discovery.

Here's a relationship book that doesn't blab, it's good info, great solutions and well written. Many relationship books babble on and on and promise many solutions yet don't deliver. This book delivers. The solutions are extremely helpful and easy to apply. My boyfriend, who is not into relationship books loved this book. It tapped into his way of thinking. I definitely recommend this book!

"We love each other, but... we could use some expert advice so that we can keep on loving." If you have ever thought about your relationship in these terms, then this is a must-read book for you and your partner. Dr. Wachtel knows about the perils of co-navigating a marriage, both from her professional experience as a researcher and family therapist (she has "worked with close to one thousand couples"), and from her own life (she has been married to the same man "for more than thirty years"). Her book is accessible and fun to read, integrating brief, illustrative case histories with keen (and also brief!) psychological analyses, followed by sensible suggestions for couples to work out their problems. Dr. Wachtel organizes her material into eight chapters on such topics as decision-making, arguing, raising children, and having a satisfactory sex life (while doing all of the above!). I particularly like how she addresses the reader, simply and directly, throughout her narrative; for example, in her discussion of "harmful words" during arguments, she tells us: "Even if you apologize and explain that you didn't mean what you said, your partner may still be hurt. . . . Your partner not only feels wounded by your words but by the fact that you wanted to be so hurtful." Occasional references to her personal experiences enrich the narrative, allowing the reader to envision the author as a real person, herself struggling with life's challenges, as when she discusses some minor and major differences between her and her husband: "Poking around in flea markets is a real treat for me, but he becomes restless. . . . We differ even on such fundamentals as child-rearing philosophies and religious convictions." The book's last chapter, titled "We Love Each Other and We Get Along Well, But... Is This It?", offers the author's view of relationships as ongoing, developing, fluid processes. It is not enough just to learn how to deal with conflict within a stable, friendly marriage. After all, don't we also want to have fun, to share life's joys with our partner? Dr. Wachtel knows the importance of passion and romance in relationships. "Continue to surprise yourself and your spouse," she tells us, "Have little adventures together and apart. . . . Start to tell jokes. Take up swing dancing. . . ." And enjoy reading this book with your significant other, I tell you--it is definitely worth it!

Kathy Kolbe's penetrating insights into our conative (or instinctual) dimension are nothing less than revolutionary. It would be hard to make a better investment in understanding yourself than to buy this book ... Doing both (which led to my learning my MO as a Quick Start / Fact Finder) confirmed and clarified my gut-level instincts about my own talents, and provided direction for leveraging my strengths while pointing out how not to get blind-sided by my weaknesses! --Karen Page

Most of us know at least one enormously talented person who seems to be adrift, not accomplishing much. And we know someone else with what would appear to be far fewer "gifts" who is nevetheless a definite winner. Why? Why would a top salesman bungle the job of sales manager? Or the effective manager stumble when she goes into business for herself? Why are so many people suffering from job stress? Those are all good questions--and Kathy has answers for them. Better yet, she can show readers how to sidestep the pitfalls on their way to achievement and job satisfaction. And she can help parents understand why a child who can't wait to go to school in the primary grades comes home bored and/or frustrated in middle school. If you've ever been curious about any of these issues, read this book. It will change the way you look at yourself and the people around you.

If I had found this book sooner, it would have helped stop me from many years of lamenting "I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up". And it would have saved me many years of stress while attempting to fit my round peg into too many square holes.

The Conative Connection is based on a system to discover our action orientations which are our instinctual methods of 'acting' or performing tasks. The four basic 'action modes' are Fact Finder, Follow Thru, Implementor and Quick Start. There are three levels of performance for each Action Mode. People either insist on one or more of the modes, resist or accommodate.

Facilitators are fairly equal in their use of all the action modes. Though some who seem to be this way have actually forced themselves for so long to fit and meet all expectations that they are 'in crises' and no longer recall what their less stressful original orientations were. It seemed to me that any job I had ever had expected everyone to be the same and to be facilitators, therefore creating a lot more stress and burnout than necessary.

What I discovered about myself from reading this book confirmed some insights I had had in high school from which I had strayed. More than "What Color is Your Parachute", this book helped me to get more on track and find a job that was less stressful and more satisfying. The Conative Connection even surpasses the useful "know yourself" information I discovered in "Please Understand Me"(a wonderful book on the Myers/Briggs type and temperament personality test administered by some companies).

As Marshall McLuhan said, "Education is a process of shutting off our talents". Now we have the tool to turn them back on.

I had the honor to have access to the contents of this book before it was ever published. Its teachings, together with the infinite compassion, patience, generosity, and wisdom of the author changed my life forever. Marta Monahan's gift to you is comparable to what a perfect set of parents and guides would teach you in an ideal world; comprehensive, practical yet spiritual, tools for a life of high standards. If I had only one self-help book in my shelves it'd be this one.

This book is now required reading in both my home and office! Monahan's thesis is simple: Most of us spend a great deal of our time living in mediocrity and THAT is what causes the pain and dullness that many of us privately suffer. There is a very powerful exercise in the first chapter that makes it easy (and painful) to find the source of our own mediocrity -- and the rest of the book is about how to move out of it. Some may find this too tough and controversial because the focus is on personal responsibility and character, but Monahan is a gentle teacher who clearly is teaching from experience. Overall this book is tough yet charming, simple yet profound. The writing style is refreshing and smart for a self-help book -- this one is a gem and I am grateful for the message. After a few days of using the "Five Acts of Improvement" that Monahan writes about, I became addicted to improvement and everybody who knows me can see the difference.

It is easy reading and you discover things that are right there in front of you when Ms. Monahan graciously calls your attention to them and shines a new light. I am a better person for reading this book. I know that I have handled situations far better than I had before with some of the points that I have learned through reading this book. I have started making notes in the margins, it is a welcomed gift to whomever I have given it to. Do yourself a favor and get this for you and anyone you care about. Great book club book!

I recommend this book and author to all of my friends and my seminar attendees. This book will pick you up and gently shake you and you'll never be the same again. Your life will change and the future will become brighter and full of promise beyond your dreams. If for some reason you could only read one book......this is the one.

After reading Think Like a Winner, I was so eager to read anything Staples wrote. Though Think Like a Winner is definitely a "winner", this book by far was more powerful to me. The quote on every other page inspired me, and fed me when I didn't have time to read the text. His simple, easy to understand method of writing as well as the inspriring text has made this book my "bible" for daily living as I discover my true self. I love this book and recommend it to everyone without hesitation!

In his book, In Search of Your True Self, Walter Staples combines the best information available on mind management and personal excellence. I have read and listened to many, many programs on these and related topics. Mr. Staples'book was easy to follow. I enjoyed the accelerated learning approach used where each topic was first introduced with a favorite quote, then followed by a brief explanation, and finally summarized and exemplified with a true story. It should be read and reread by anyone serious about reaching their maximum potential.

This book deserves 20 stars.

This is one of those books that you thank God you were blessed enough to come across. This book is for every woman, every age. You will never again believe you are the only one going through rough times.

Ms. Linamen is a very down to earth and encouraging woman. As you read you feel as if she is sitting right next to you, sharing her life and giving you hints on how to muddle through the valleys full of stumbling blocks.

The author discusses: minivacations, friends, fine whine, depression, dreams, simplifying life, grudges, weight, our inner child and our souls.

I cannot recommend this book enthusiastically enough. You really must read it!

This book is a keeper! Loved it, Loved it! Loved it! Karen is a genious! She is histerical yet practical! Loved it!

I knew Karen when she and my husband worked together in Dallas, TX. Karen is funny, real, and very down-to-earth; but she is also deeply rooted, spiritually. She writes from her life - warts and all. I picked this book up in the bookstore and began to read the first page. I read almost the whole first chapter right in the bookstore! I couldn't put it down! Just Hand Over the Chocolate is for every woman who has ever experienced stress or depression or just gotten in a rut and lost their joy in Christ (and then self-medicated with a 1/2 pound bag of m&m's).

Mom is older now and every day I call her. She reads that days prayer to me before we hang up the phone. After she reads it I say "back at you Mom, I love you". It is good. She appreciates the scriptural reference to the promises that God has made to us according to His Word. Everyday brings us closer.

My wife and I used Praying God's Will For My Daughter to help us pray for our adopted children even before they came to the US. It helped us bless them and increased our bonding with them.

One of our favorite prayers was "We pray that neither death nor life, nor angels or principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate our daughter from the love of you God, which is in Christ Jesus, her Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

Praying God's Will For My Daughter and Praying God's Will For My Son by Lee Roberts are wonderful books that every Christian parent should keep on their bedside table. They're organized by topic and lead you in praying Bible scriptures for your child. You can know you're praying God's will when you pray scripture. These books REALLY helped my prayer life to grow.

This book gives a unique perspective of the revolving cycle of abuse that many addicts are caught up in. Written by a sheriff and a parent of someone addicted to drugs, an honest look into why jail is simply not an effective means of keeping an addict clean and sober. Even more enlightening...hard facts about
the rising numbers of nonviolent offenders in the prison system
nationwide who are addicted to drugs. Anyone who has ever experienced the frustration and loss of a loved ones addiction to drugs and the inability of jail time to make a difference...you must read this book.

Are we imprisoning people with a medical condition that is difficult for those afflicted to control? When people with these medical conditions are in government custody, do we fail to properly treat them so they may overcome their difficulties? Have we become so stuck on punishment that we have lost sight of the real goal of assisting people who need help?
According to "Save My Son", this is what is happening. We have dramatically populated our prisons with people with drug addictions. Without arguing that people who commit crimes deserved to be imprisoned, we may have gone overboard with incarcerations and ignored that addicts need treament. Incarceration following by release without treatment neither benefits the addicts nor their future victims.
"Save My Son" is written jointly by Mike Carona, Sheriff of Orange County, California, who has watched his jails grow with addicted inmates, and by Maralys Wills, the mother of a drug addict who is currently imprisoned. As the book notes, 80% of incarcerated people enter with a drug addiction and, in California, over one fifth of incarcerations as are solely for drug offenses. Yet, upon imprisonment, few prisons offer drug rehabilitation programs. Our hesitancy to invest in prison rehabilitation may create future crimes and higher health
costs.
Maralys Wills delivers a heart breaking first person account of an upper middle class mother who watches her son Kirk develop from a high school boy who successfully hides his drug use from his family into a full blown, paranoid addict who has trouble managing a job, a place to live, and his health, to finally becoming another criminal statistic. Some say an addict must hit bottom before he realizes he needs to overcome his addiction. We follow Kirk as he is seriously injured, driven to paranoia, unable to hold a job, imprisoned and released-and still has not "hit bottom" to overcome his addiction. If drug addiction changes the brain functions such that the brain demands more drugs, regardless of the consequences, the consequences do nothing to change the addiction. True rehabilitation requires the brain to totally rethink and realize what it properly needs.
The book delivers stirring commentary from Sheriff Carona as he writes about his observations of prisons and of his own mother's alcoholism that eventally killed her when he was a boy. The Sheriff recognizes the need to reach out and help people from destroying themselves and others around them. He points out how crime continued rising despite $30 billion spending on new prisons. Addiction is usually not solved from imprisonment; the addiction is too strong. We are incarcerating and then releasing untreated and angrier addicts.
"Save My Son" describes studies by criminologist Elliot Currie that show how being imprisoned both reduces and increases recidivism. It decreases recidivism for many violent offenders yet increases recidivism for many addicts. Prison is often where addicts learn to become even better addicts. A better alternative for addicts, this book argues, would be intensive therapy to get addicts to successfully overcome their addiction.
This book makes well founded arguments from authors with personal perspectives on the situations. It is a fascinating book.

If you have ever shed tears while waiting for your child, parent or friend to hit bottom to then recover and get off drugs or alcohol, then this book is for you. I could not put this book down. This book has really enlightened me and inspired me to make an effort to save my son no matter how much criticism I get from others. I'm not waiting for the phone call that tells me he is dead!

Maralys Wills writes about her son's adventure into alcohol and drug addictions so well that I felt I was there with her every minute. As a mother of a son in a new drug program in Orange County, CA., I could relate! I have also dealt with years of searching for help for my son. This book gave me hope!!! It made me feel okay to do my best to bring my son the water, even if he doesn't drink. She is a woman with a great amount of wisdom and a great writer.

Sheriff Mike Carona talks about his views on why the jail and prison system is ineffective in rehabilitating criminals whose crimes originate in drug abuse or mental illness. He bring information to the book that help's you understand why our tax payers money is being wasted because of recidivism. This man is a real leader who's good soul is opened for all to look in.

These two people join forces and created a masterpiece that will comfort and inspire change. This is a must-read book for parents and anyone who is seeking answers to the drug addiction epidemic.

God bless them both for sharing and informing us with facts and feelings. Wow, what a book! Thank you both!!

With her innate warmth and wisdom, Vivian King, takes the reader onto, or into, their own Inner Theatre "stage" to do some safe, enjoyable, profound, transformative work. This is her best known work, though she's known in Poland and other European countries as a great teacher, with workbooks in print in English and other languages.

Imagine being the director of your own play. Imagine also being the playwright and your own cast of characters. Sound like a one-person show? It is! In Soul Play, Vivian King uses the metaphor of the "Inner Theatre" to represent your inner world and all that takes place inside your mind. The metaphor provides you with a way to identify and resolve issues on your own inner stage, and to do so when that resolution may seem impossible in the outer world. Soul Play will help you develop self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self- mastery. In reading this book, you, as one of the world's actors, can expect to become the director of your own life so you can play a more excellent part on the World Stage.

Here's a brief overview of what you'll find in this book. First, you'll consider the connection between your soul (playwright) and your play on Earth, and the reason why it's so easy to forget who you are behind all the masks you wear from day to day. Then you'll meet your "entourage"-your inner actors, director, and playwright, as well as members of your supporting cast and those in your audience. You'll take a tour of your inner theatre and explore the set. Here you'll discover what's happening on stage and behind the scenes. You'll explore the basement of your mind and also the upstairs (which I call the mysterium). After all that, you'll discover your director's inner sanctum and find your director's chair. Most importantly, you'll learn the secrets of who you are and what you do as the director. Using what I call the "three steps in directing," you'll have the opportunity to take one of your unaccomplished actors through all three steps to help! him or her become a star. To enhance that actor's new script, you and the playwright will explore how the role can be even better. Having practiced using the principles of directing, you'll realize that you now know how to work with the other actors to get your act together. Finally, you'll focus on the value of rehearsals and look more closely at the dark times in your life. You'll learn what to do when nothing seems to work and the stage appears empty. You'll discover what it means to give a peak performance and to enjoy each moment. And before completion, you'll also reflect on the roles you play in the Family, Organizational, and Community Theatres, and determine how your role fits into the larger World Play.

An easy read; it was hard to put it down. It encouraged me (with many helpful suggestions and examples) to write separate tributes to my parents (they are divorced), and I'm so glad I did. For me, reconciling with my parents at 35 years of age was the first step towards healing old hurts. I have more peace and feel better prepared to move forward in my present relationships, both with my parents and with others, knowing that I have tried to be obedient to the Word of God.

Dennis wrote this book with a clear understand of why God put the 5th commandment in the top category in the last six commandments on having Relational Wholenss and fulfilling the commandment of loving your neighbor as yourself. This book really gives spiritual help in uncovering bitter roots in the violations of the 5th commandment. When you really deal with your heart and make good choices to forgive and honor you find relief from the curse and receive the blessing. The blessing of living a long life and prospering. THIS IS AN EXCELLENT BOOK! Every Christian who desires to go deep in God must read this book.

I absolutely loved this book and took the ideas and suggestions to not only compose my own tribute to my mother, but to assist others and even teach a class on doing this type of tribute. As stated in the book, writing and presenting a tribute to your parent is an incredibly powerful experience. I have seen healing for the adult child and have seen stoic parents break down and cry. Read this book and act on the principles it offers. I believe they are especially needed in this day of "blame the folks for evrything."