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This book deserves more than five stars. It is the only comprehensive guide to childhood development and illnesses that I have seen. The content is remarkable for being easy to understand, concise, and representing many different perspectives (including those of moms, dads, elder siblings, physicians, and other health care professionals). The book exudes a respectful sense of optimism that parents will do a good job, and avoids taking stands about issues related to religious preferences. At the same time, the book is quite up-front about pointing out what works best for children and their families.
The book is organized so that the first four sections deal with developmental issues, from learning to mimic to toilet training to dealing with jealous siblings to school adjustment, on through the school age years in considerable detail. The fifth part gives you information on childhood illnesses, injuries, and conditions.
I particularly liked the way the development sections talked about how children usually regress just before making a major development, and that this is healthy. The book even points out the good sides of childish outbursts. I wish someone had told me these things many years ago!
Having been a parent of four children over the last 30 years, I checked out the book against every illness, emergency, and developmental issue that I ran into for my own children and their friends. In each case, there was relevant material that told me more than I knew when I had to deal with each of these issues, despite having read every book on child care that I could lay my hands on prior to the experience. In particular, the book is very good at explaining both the near-term and the long-term consequences of a situation. For example, one of our children went into severe convulsions with a sudden spike in fever to 106 degrees. The book points out that this happens to about five percent of all children, more often to boys, and that there usually are no long-term consequences. I wish I had known that at the time.
I would especially like to praise the chapter on child care, which has 31 pages that summarize the best and latest research on how to select the right kind of child care if both parents work. You even get what the ratio of child-care people should be to children at different ages. Further, there's an excellent section earlier on what's involved when a child is sick, including how parents should think about how to balance their work and the needs of a sick child who needs a parent at home.
Of particular value to new parents will be the sections in each area called "When to Call the Doctor" which gives you a sense of not only "when" but "how quickly" you should seek help.
To get some idea of how contemporary and extensive this book is, you will find a section on "Body Piercing Infections."
Unlike many books on childhood and pediatric illnesses, this one is not the views of one person. Instead, over 80 physicians and pediatric experts combined to share their expertise, drawing on individuals practicing at Boston Children's Hospital or teaching at Harvard Medical School. I have great faith in Boston Children's Hospital having often taken our children there to deal successfully with important illnesses. I am also pleased to say that one of our children has survived the experience to become a staff member in the hospital's emergency room.
The section on emergencies is not only good, it is also organized to help you prepare to handle emergencies before they occur . . . and to avoid them in some cases. Those pages are rimmed in pink so you can find them quickly if you are in a panic.
Give children the best informed and most loving attention you can!
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I find this book to be an excellent introduction to Mussar. It is almost painless but it does require effort and concentration.
The tradition in question is Mussar, which has its roots in Eastern Europe before the Holocaust. This so decimated Mussar practitioners that Mussar did not gain prominence in the study of Judaism as a whole. So, for Alan Morinis, after much research, it was a "find". His description of it is so impelling that it is hard to put aside. As an autobiography, the character of the author as a secular Jew comes through very clearly in all its ramifications during his journey towards spiritual fulfilment.
Also central to the book's treatment of Mussar is the character of the person who ultimately became Morinis' teacher. Rabbi Yechiel Yitzchok Perr, living in New York to where the author travelled several times from Vancouver for study. Rabbi Perr, though orthodox himself teaches without imposing orthodoxy on the learner as the writer might have expected, since he found the subject grounded in orthodoxy.
However, Mussar is not only for studying, but for practising: its basic principles emanating from the soul of every practitioner, different as they are from every other practitioner.
I found the book positively exciting because of the honesty of expression about the author's feelings at every stage of the journey. The writing is imbued with a very human quality that draws the reader into the author's soul, which is the whole point of the exercise of Mussar: to develop the soul toward spiritual perfection as far as possible.
We are all different from each other with regard to the elements of our characters. Mussar calls these elements, "soul-traits". "We don't have a soul. We are a soul". Through the discipline of Mussar we are helped to improve these various soul-traits: for example, by working on our anger, impatience, etc. until we become more holy. Rabbi Perr side-steps a definition of holiness, saying that, "you'll know about holiness just from the experience."
There's a lot more to the book than can be described here, such as what the Mussar exercises consist of. Suffice it to say that the end result of the book is a beautiful document, the essence of it being the "soul-perspective", leading to the possibility of all who read it to face life with equanimity.
A. Naomi Katz
The theme is a story of getting lost on life's journey and on finding a way back- no easy task in our North American culture of "materialism and self-centeredness".
Alan Morinis generously shares his "journey" which took him to the little known ancient Jewish spiritual practice called Musar.
At first through his reading and studying of obscure texts and eventually with the guidance of a wise and compassionate teacher, the author rediscovers his "true nature".
The book overflows with wisdom and ancient truths and the practices and techniques of Musar are clearly laid out at the end of each chapter.
Morinis wrestles with the question of whether one has to be a practicing Orthodox Jew to follow the path of Musar and concludes that one doesn't. In fact, I think that the path of Musar is open to all who genuinely thirst after truth and wisdom.
The author generously shares his "journey" and his discoveries in a way that enables the reader to begin an ancient practice that can be life transforming.
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I ding this book one star because it leaves off the human element where more of the interest and drama lay. Artic exploration is full or great tales, of Scott and Shackelton and the like, the human dimension and cost of exploring the artic. This book concentrates on the historic events, not the people. Therefore, at times, the book is a bit dense and uninteresting to all but the most ardent arm-chair polar explorers. For instance, this book discussing Captain Gray's sails in the southern ocean, but didn't go into his interactions that made him the legend that he is today.
This is indeed a good book, well researched and full of detail. However, unless you're really interested, all of the detail can be a bit overwhealming and the historic accounts become dry unless you're really into the subject matter.
An engrossing and satisfying read that everyone should devour.
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