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The disbelief that my mother could possibly forget that she had asked me the same question three times in 10 minutes, followed by the self-hatred at my anger and lack of understanding.
The feelings of helplessness and confusion that accompanied our struggles to figure out what would be best for her, and the absence of definitive answers from the medical community.
The deluded belief at each particular phase of her illness that things couldn't possibly get any worse, only to watch the next descent destroy more of who she was.
The heartbreaking relief when she smiled at me in recognition when I arrived to visit.
The innumerable times that I had to pull my car to the curb as I returned home because I was sobbing so deeply that I could no longer see the road.
And, most of all, the overwhelmingly empty feeling of isolation and solitude.
Now, I watch from a distance as my cousins endure the same horrors in caring for my mother's brother. But they have a reaffirming guide that was unavailable to us. I sent them a copy of Staying Connected While Letting Go.
In our high tech world, we often forget the importance of the individual human story in passing along culture, history, knowledge, and simple wisdom. But to me, the highest value of the human story is to trigger in the listener, or reader, a sense of shared humanity. Recognizing one's own experiences in the story of another person shatters one's sense of isolation. This is the genius of Staying Connected While Letting Go.
Ms. Olenik and Ms. Braff have structured their book around the stories of caregivers, who describe their experiences with their loved ones at successive phases of the illness. Neither the caregivers nor the authors try to sanitize what is frequently the unpleasant reality of facing and reacting to the confusing and disturbing behaviors that can accompany Alzheimer's. As a result, the book has a credibility that will strengthen its appeal to caregivers, while sharing the coping mechanisms of the caregiving community to which they belong.
It's extraordinarily rare to find a book that has such enormous potential to help people who desperately need a sense of community. The authors deserve our thanks!
Yvonne - a caregiver for 15 years.
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As a minister of spirituality I companion many women who are trying to live with breast cancer, therefore I am also coping with the experience. When I read this book of rituals I imediately ordered several. The authors gently, cretively and wisely make suggestions for rituals that can be reflected upon or acted out by the individual or with another or a group. Often the woman coping with breast cancer is not ready to do so with a group. But she does need to ritualize her feelings. So right in the introduction the authors give this permission to the reader.
If there is a poverty of spirit among women today it is the lack of trusting their own power to ritualize life experiences. We have been, and many still are, co-opted to transfer the power of the ritual to a designated minister...usually a male in the patriarchial religions. But in order to live whole lives women must reclaim their power and creat ritual about all life experiences.
This reclaiming or our power is especially difficult when the experience is a devastating loss. RITUALS FOR WOMEN COPING WITH BREAST CANCER invites the women or her circle of friends to reclaim this power. One ritual done well, and this book is a brilliant aid in facilitating this, convinces the person or community of the power of ritual.
I highly recommend this book for all women, all ministers and for all communities of care.
The doctor told me I was lucky because I had ductul carcinoma in situ, which means the cancer was encapsulated. It was also microscopic. Early detection is always the key to the most hopeful situation. After two lumpectomies and 38 radiation treatments I was told that hopefully I would fall into a 96% category for survival. No matter how hopeful the prognosis, one lives with the FEAR every single day of one's life.
My process began in early June and the treatments were completed in early November. The months between were very difficult. IF ONLY THIS BOOK HAD BEEN AVAILABLE THEN to companion me through the emotions, the sounds and the loneliness conjured by this evil!
Acknowledging one's reality, claiming confidence, naming losses, stream of emotions, taming and living with the fear and celebrating hope -- these are all of things that I was yearning to do in my own personal horror. I did not have the language nor the structure to allow myself these simple yet profound opportunities.
Kudos to the Prism Collective for touching my soul and so many others. Rituals for Women Coping with Breast Cancer is the most wonderful, caring, insightful way to touch the lives of the thousands of women who confront the evil beast every day. This offers courage, hope and a great sense of not being alone in the struggle! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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In Ashes of Roses, Rose's family travels from Ireland to America for a new life. But at Ellis Island, tragedy strikes the family when Joseph, Rose's baby brother, has trachoma and cannot go into America. Roses' dad decides to take Joseph back to Ireland to stay with Grandma Nolan. While Rose's dad takes Joseph back, the family stays with Rose's uncle. However, Rose's mother hates to live for free, and Rose tries to find a job. A short while later, Rose's mother decides she does not want to live in America without her husband and Joseph. On the way to the boat, Rose asks her mother to let her stay in America with her younger sister.
Rose and her sister find a place to live in America with a father and his daughter, Gussie. Gussie helps Rose find a job at a cloth factory. BR> In Ashes of Roses, Rose and the readers learn not to take life for granted. The story line is easy to follow and keeps the readers hooked. The author did an impressive job bring the story to life. Ashes of Roses shows immigrants making their life in America by the trials they face.
Auch pulls you into the world of 1911 and creates an atmosphere that allows the reader to feel the desparation that accompanied the fight for women's rights in the workforce. The characters come alive and when many are lost in the Triangle shirtwaist company fire you grieve for them along with Rose. Ashes of Roses is a poignant book that will move the reader to a new, deeper understanding of the struggle for rights and the horror of the fire that took the lives of over 150 people in the Triangle Company fire in New York.
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