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Years ago, when I read this book, I learned, that people who make snide remarks, innuendoes, racist remarks, sexist remarks, or any other negative statement, are really frightened, insecure, and desperate to force their interlocutor to not notice what they are fighting, from within themeselves.
As I endlessly grow, I can't help from giggle on the inside, whenever I talk to, or visit with someone who has known me my entire life, who also fears any one of these: Exposure; Loss of Control: Lossing Autonomy; An Attack; Disappointment; Betrayal; Guilt; Rejection; or Abandonment.
I'm not giggling at that person. I'm thanking all the authors, including Dr. Piorkowski, and I am thanking myself, for having been my guide while I have faced everyone of my past demons, so that I am free to be fully in the present moment, making conscious choices of what I am, and I am not willing to allow in my life.
We all teach others how to treat us. It's very important that we look closely at ourselves, from the resesses of our soul, to love the parts of ourselves that don't feel loved.
Because we we face the impact of our past, upon our lives today, things become tremendously better.
For all those who are not getting what you want, in your interactions with others, here is a list of questions for you to consider:
1. How many topics do you discuss, and how central are they to
you?
2. What is the strongest longing that you have had, in intimacy?
3. What were some of your defense strategies, as a child, in
response to people getting close to what mattered most to
you? Are these strategies now hurting you?
4. How has your fear of exposure, and fear of losing control
made you feel both ashamed of yourself, and self-doubting?
5. Do you expect others to disappoint and betray you? Are you
ready for a "see! There you go again?"
6. Why are you so insecure about the love you do get?
7. Why is conflict so difficult for you to deal with?
8. When you talk to your interlocutor, in person, are you fully
in the moment, looking one another in the eyes, naturally?
9. If your spouse/lover gave you what you claimed to really
want, what would that be; and who would you have to be, to
appreciate this?
10. Are you running away from yourself?
This wonderful book captures so many life situations, and relates so deeply with challenges that we have in our aspirations to be happy, loved, and safe.
Having read this book, and having written so many notes in the margins, I am free to look back on my life, and see that this book truly has brought me closer to people who I welcome in my life, people who foster my growth, who have no agenda for me.
Read this because you deserve to love, and be loved.
Dr Piorkowski uses a step by step approach to explain, in clear english, the root causes of problems with intimacy and how they manifest themselves in everyday life. She describes how people react to relationship issues in their past and how their natural defense mechnisms cause them to react the way they do in relationships.
Most importantly she explains the effects that problems with intimacy have on people and the others in their lives. It continues to offer solutions and clearly explain the options people have to explore their intimacy issues.
This book can be read like a text book, but also for a quick introduction to the subject, the last three chapters can be read. They are excellant summaries of the cause of intimacy problems, solutions and the foundation for a healthy relationship.
The best self help book I've ever read
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But how do you do this? Giving away important processes like finance and accounting to an outsourcing provider is scary. This book gave me the courage and the confidence to outsource. It told me what to do, what NOT to do, and what to watch out for. It gave me clear guidelines on pricing going into a relationship and how to police performance during the life of the contract. It also gave me a blueprint for handling disputes because they do come up.
I now outsource my finance and accounting to a provider 10 minutes from my office. (I want face to face chats about my money!)I also outsource my Web development and hosting to a company in the Philippines that does terrific work at a remarkably reasonable rate. I would never have even considered an offshore supplier if I hadn't read this book. It helped me understand the whole planet is now a source of suppliers.
The author's premise is that companies today have no option but to outsource. I have found in my own experience that is certainly true. I had no idea of how to go about it. If in doubt, read! This book was the perfect primer for a newcomer like me.
The hard statistics are accompanied by easy to understand case studies and explanations. I highly recommend it as a 'must read" for both parties to an outsourcing relationship as "pre-marital" counseling manual that will promote more successful and profitable alliances.
Thank you Peter Bendor-Samuel.
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Before I read this book, adaptive filtering was a mystery and the LMS algorithm looked like a programming nightmare. It looked like more Kalman filtering. My eyes have been opened. The LMS algorithm for adaptive filtering is almost as simple as Tit for Tat is for game theory. This is the gateway text to understand adaptive filtering, adaptive arrays (help the navy find the rogue submarine), adaptive equalization (design the next generation of modem), adaptive control (say goodbye to overshoot), adaptive prediction (beat the stock market). Furthermore, it leads naturally into the artificial intelligence techniques.
If you are an engineer or a programmer, you should have this tool in your toolbox.
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If you like the problems in the text I can assure you that I crunched through all of them personally!
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It is so refreshing to be provided with an in-depth analysis of the bitter hostilities and a factual account that will destroy and tread underfoot the propaganda, the myths, distortions, fabrications and outright lies that have served to deceive the public at large of what the situation in the Middle East is really all about.
The descriptive and relevant title which includes 'Fact & Fantasy' can never be more appropriate than when dealing with an issue such as this, where the erosion of truth has occurred at a monumental rate in recent years, especially since the onset of the two 'Palestinian intifadas'in 1987.
I possess the second edition of this book with a foreword in 1977 by then Menachem Begin, the Prime Minister of Israel. He summarises his opinions of this book by stating "...we shall continue to use truth as a main weapon. I hope that this book will play an even larger part in spreading the truth than it has done in the past."
The British Sunday Times newspaper is also quoted in the introduction from an issue in 1972, "...On some occasions, deliberate lies have been devised to bury a truth that powerful people wanted hidden...."
I cannot but only agree with Menachem Begin's every word 'spoken' by the Sunday Times. When matters such as these come to the surface, people with integrity will want to know why this deceit exists, the agendas of those who would perpetrate these policies and above all the real truth behind the lies. This book serves that purpose !
We see through Katz's writings the hypocritical, biased policies of my own British Government in the region, fuelled by self interest and their own agenda in the region.
Palestinian terrorism, refugees and a detailed history through the decisive events of 1948, 1967 and 1973 are all covered in this excellent book which has thankfully now been re-released. Samuel Katz does not rest there, but also delves into the history of the region and the Jewish presence in Palestine.
I cannot recommend this book highly enough.
Suffice to say, please get yourself a copy. (If you are a politician, get two and give one to a colleague!)
Kindest regards & thanks for listening.
Like the work of Arieh Avneri, Howard Sachar, Connor Cruise O'Brien, Efraim Karsh and Martin Kramer, Battleground is a magnificent piece of reporting on the history of the Middle East conflict. But in the 29 years since it was originally published, that past has grown ever more faded in public and journalistic memory.
In general, newspapers and textbooks now completely avoid the history, without explanation blaming Israel for the plight of Arab refugees that Arab nations have exploited in a 54-year war against the Jewish state. Katz clearly here delineates the role of refugees in that war. Katz also reports this important background: In 1922 the League of Nations adopted by international vote a plan to establish a Jewish National Home in Palestine, which then included all of current day Israel and Transjordan.
This book details that history. Katz shows that, within years after the Paris Peace meeting and League of Nations accorded all of Palestine to the Jewish people, Britain unilaterally and illegally granted more than 80% of original Palestine to the Arabs, creating current day Jordan.
Katz elucidates many critical parts of the historical puzzle. But the centerpiece is that in 1919, less than two years after the Balfour Declaration, Emir Faisal of Syria and Iraq--then the only recognized Arab leader in the world--declared the plan for a Jewish national homeland in all of Palestine as "moderate and proper." He even signed a treaty with Jewish leaders to accept and endorse the plan.
In short, Katz shows here that the 1922 League of Nations vote to adopt the plan did not (as conventional wisdom now wrongly supposes) unilaterally impose a decision on the Arab peoples of the Middle East without their input. In fact, the League of Nations acted directly in response to the 1919 Arab treaty with Jewish leaders.
King Faisal's approval of plans for a National Home for the Jews was no less significant because it, like the League Mandate, encompassed all of current day Israel and Jordan. In 1919, King Faisal saw the importance of recognizing the rights of the Jewish people to their homeland.
The book also shows that the Jewish people did not--as common misconception holds--steal land in Israel. On the contrary, beginning in the 1870s and 1880s, the Jewish Agency and many private groups and people purchased land (usually swamps and desert) from private absentee Arab landowners, often at wildly inflated prices. Katz documents this plainly.
Katz also establishes the number of Arab refugees in 1948 at 480,000, after seven Arab nations attacked the nascent Jewish state with the avowed intention to destroy it. Arab leaders at the United Nations admitted the relatively low number of Arab refugees from that war at the time. But gradually, over the years, he demonstrates that the number has been inflated--a point that, he reports, even the United Nations admits.
Katz also rightly recognizes the 850,000 Jewish refugees from 22 Arab and Muslim lands between 1940 and 1978, expelled with nothing but the shirts on their backs. (See also Malka Hillel Shulewitz and Itamar Levin and Rachel Neiman in The Forgotten Millions and Locked Doors.) Comparable inflation would raise the number of Jewish refugees from Arab lands to more than 3 million.
Finally, Katz explains the central problem plaguing Israeli-Arab relations since long before Israel was founded in 1948. As he notes, most Arab nations--from which he shows most "Palestinians" immigrated--have never recognized even the considerably reduced version of the Jewish state that became Israel in 1948. They would prefer a permanent state of war than to admit the Jewish people's right to self-determination, or to a state governing places in which tens of thousands of Jews have resided from a time since the Romans sacked the second Temple in 70 A.D.
Read this book to learn the region's real history. Alyssa A. Lappen
In fact, you will find that Mr. Katz provides aboundant links to documents, interviews, witnesses and other articles. The great majority of the evidence Mr. Katz is using, is of Arab provenience. Most importantly, he gives you the means, through detailed documenting of the sources, to check them out for yourself. This is very important, because this conflict's facts have been grossly and tendentiously manipulated. At first, of course, the reader might experience some strange mixture of disbelief and anxiety. This should not last too long, though, depending on your personal education and experience. For me, it was quite acceptable, knowing how the events that lead to the annexion of the Finnish Karelia by Russia, were fabricated, and accepted by the UN because, well, Finland was small and Russia so big and powerful.
History is, perhaps, written by the more powerful but even the mightiest of the powers can't completely erase all traces of truth. This book talks about the conflict in Palestine by giving the reader the opportunity to find those traces and to be the judge. It's also a very easy to read, enjoyable and immersive reading. Of course, checking the sources is a more laboriious but also more rewarding task which I personally urge every reader to undertake, to whatever extent he/she might be comfortable with. A must-have for everybody who wants to be educated on an important aspect of modern history, both scholar and layman.
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The remaining 6 month struggle for Guadalcanal is inspiring and very tragic for the conditions and imminent threat of death endured by those brave men. I was deeply moved by the courage and sacrifices of the US Navy and US Marines. 59 years after the fact I also feel (grudging) admiration for the men and weapons of the IJN.
The "Arsenal of Democracy" had agreed with the European allies that European victory was the priority issue, and that men and materiels for the Pacific war were scant for the first year or so and in many instances outmoded.
The entire series is excellent reading for those interested in history and their American heritage. I have had the entire series for about 50 years. The current pricing scheme at Amazon is a true bargain, and I recommend the series without reservation. The sadness is that such an event ever occured to generate this excellent historical writing.
The naval battles in the waters surrounding Guadalcanal were some of the bloodiest and hardest fought actions in World War II. Both sides entered the campaign with strengths and deficits, which were ultimately exploited by the other. The Japanese entered the campaign with superiority in surface craft, torpedoes, and night fighting technique. The Americans had more carriers, better submarines, and air superiority derived from control of Henderson field. During the campaign, American and Japanese naval forces suffered nearly equivalent and horrific losses, which by virtue of its superior resources, the United States was better able overcome and proceed to victory.
The waters around Guadalcanal saw many of the most significant -- and decisive -- surface actions of the war, which resulted in many ships of both combatants giving meaning to the name of "Iron Bottom Sound" which attended the approaching waters to Guadalcanal. The volume begins with the battle of Savo Island, and the resulting disintegration of Allied plans, and proceeds through each of the hard-fought battles which followed. With such epic material, as gifted a historian and writer as Morison absolutely cannot fail, nor does he disappoint.
Among Morison's history, this volume contains the most vivid descriptions of the island terrain, the tropical seascape, and the violent actions to which they were witness. Charts and pictures compliment Morison's descriptions of salvo chasing, and shells slamming into wildly manuevering warships. No other history of the battles surrounding these waters has both the perspective and immediacy which render Morison's history so compelling.
Each of the volumes of Morison's history is well worth reading; this particular volume is worth reading over and over.
Like Midway before it, Guadalcanal provided ample material for an engrossing story: the ease of the initial landings, the shock of Savo Island, the desperate land battles, the brutal naval engagements. Maybe because it is one of the earlier volumes in the set, maybe because the story is so compelling: whatever the reason, the writing in Volume 5 is the best of the entire series. It is engaging and informative and written with noticeably more "color" than some of the later volumes.
As with any work of history, there are a few conclusions here that haven't aged well: e.g., Morison's assessment of Frank "Jack" Fletcher's withdrawal of the carriers after the initial landings. But anyone reading this book will come away with a very servicable understanding of the campaign, and will be well-prepared to evaluate other accounts fairly.
If you want to pick and choose from the set, "The Struggle For Guadalcanal" should be your first choice.
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Where this book fails really and it could have been avoided by interviewing either more people, making the book shorter or getting different aspect of the life during and after the war and concentrating there; either way, the stories seem to repeat themselves. If you read three interviews of the people in the book, it seems like you have read most of the other interviews. At times you get confused and think you are reading about the same person you read about 50 pages ago but you don't. It's truly understandable that all these people had the same story to tell but better editing and more detalied interviews could have addeed more to the book.
Even though the Map is very helpful another map would have been welcomed that discribed where these people use to live. But the photos in this book are really touching. You learn many things about the postwar year of Germany and how the war never really ended after all the shots were fired. There was still lots of poverty, starvation, and crimes being commmited because you were of a Different Ethinic backround than the people who were now in Control. Much like it was when the Nazi's were in control. The things, specially, what the mothers' did for the children makes them true heroes.
Overall it is a good book but not a great book. It should go along with "German Boy" after you have read the Battle of Berlin because this leads right after that. One of the great quotes of the book is "Do not think about tomorrow because it has not arrived yet, live for today" There are some really touching interviews in this book and if you are interested in the aftermath of the war and about the Heroes after it, read this book.
Samuel, now Colonel Samuel, United States Air Force (retired), has given us his own story in German Boy, how he survived and how he eventually found a fulfilling life and career in the US. As he recalled this phase of his life, he realized that he was part of a larger whole, a generation of children who lived through these same horrors of war and yet somehow went on to become normal and productive persons. The War of Our Childhood is his compilation of first-person stories told by members of that generation. In a series of 27 interviews, Samuel lets each tell his or her story, although some were reluctant to be interviewed, to relive those suppressed memories of long ago. The book is organized into three chapters: Those who faced the war directly on the ground; and those who were either displaced by their conquerors from the East or forced to live under them at war's end. Underlying nearly every story is the constant fear of the Russians, whose cruelty and barbarism were whetted by the additional motivation of revenge. This fear and the flight to the West of millions of Germans in the face of the advancing hordes form the single consistent background throughout this period of chaos and displacement.
In nearly every story a kind of indomitable spirit shines through, especially among the women, who somehow kept on going. Some stories are more shocking than others, but one still wonders how the German nation and culture survived such decimation and onslaught. Yet in spite of their violent and deprived start in life, these children persevered, grew up, and went on to build meaningful lives, somehow made stronger for their hardships and experience. Lessons for the reader need not be expressly articulated; Colonel Samuel lets the people speak for themselves. This reviewer, who as a six-year-old fled Pomerania with his mother and younger brother, just one step ahead of the tanks and with shots ringing in his ears, experienced many of these same events. From reading The War of Our Childhood he now comes away both enligtened and a bit saddened, but reminded one more time never to take for granted the good things he enjoys today.
Wolfgang Samuel
ISBN 1-57806-482-1
This is a moving work by Wolfgang Samuel about German children in WWII, their recollections of things endured and things taken away from the experience. In the author's earlier book, GERMAN BOY, he wrote about his own childhood as a refugee during the war and the debt he owed his mother. In this book, he interviews survivors and learns the details of their stories. Some did not wish to relive those years, but did so reluctantly with the writer's encouragement. He was one of them. The reader is privileged to experience these accounts, some of which were not previously shared with anyone.
One must steel oneself to read events in these stories. Some of the things that happened are terrifying and difficult to confront. They are tragic in the truest sense. These stories are about children who lost their parents and relatives, homes, and an entire way of life. Some were strafed by low flying fighters on the way home from school, and a number saw or heard women, sometimes relatives, being raped by Russian soldiers. Most endured the elements and were hungry more often than not. These stories are about kids who survived the war with only the clothes they wore, viewed in the areas where they ended up as refugee riffraff.
Why read such a book? Perhaps, the answer is to learn more about the experience of other human beings, in a time not so distant, who were on the losing end of the war. Also, everything is not as unambiguous as one might think. For example, a number of those who were German children then report that Russian soldiers who raped women were ironically, generally kind to children, "even generous at times, sharing the little they had." One man even said he forgave the Russians who raped his mother, that it was their leaders who encouraged them to take revenge on the Germans. Other surprising information of a lighter nature in this book is that many Russians learned to speak German relatively quickly, and even low-ranking soldiers showed a remarkable language aptitude.
One comes away from this book recognizing the strength of character and resourcefulness of these people. Most give credit to the mothers who guided and saved them while their fathers were away fighting and dying in the war. They talk about how their families worked as a team under the mother's leadership, to survive. A number said that they thought of their fathers only as photographs. Surprisingly, few of them had much bitterness about what they endured. Courage and discipline was the rule among them, and it served them well in surviving. Many experienced all the adversity that one can imagine. Those of us who think we have endured difficulty in life may change our minds after reading this book. Wolfgang Samuel's accomplishment in compiling these stories is enormous and worthy of the utmost respect.