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This outstanding book provides great advice for parents who are badmouthing other parents, as well as ways the target parents can combat this abuse. Unlike "experts" who have not researched the most effective ways of combatting this type of child abuse, Dr. Warshak has determined through studies that parents who do nothing and say nothing are at risk for eventually losing contact with their children.
Dr. Warshak carefully navigates the misconception that alienation is typically a "woman thing" by citing examples of fathers who alienate. In doing this, the author is able to assure readers that the book is indeed written "in the best interests of children," and not for any gender-based political agenda.
Dr. Warshak's outlook on children, parenting and custody is refreshing and should be required reading for every family court judge, every family law attorney and every person going through a divorce. The author argues very succinctly and very successful that the two parents who were so vital to the welfare and growth of the children during the marriage are just as vital after the divorce. He also illustrates how family courts and mental health experts remove children from the target parent at the first sign of alienation -- which is the exact opposite of what actually works in these cases.
Dr. Warshak argues that target parents need time to rebuild this relationship -- to show that they are not the parent depicted in the diatribes of the parent who is attempting to alienate. Instead, courts typically accept irrational reasons from a child for not wanting to see a parent without examining the root causes for the alienation.
Dr. Warshak carefully crafted a "how to" book for target parents, but, more importantly, he has helped all parents become better parents by encouraging them to examine their true motives for making negative statements about their former spouses. In doing so, this author has created a classic that must be read by anyone who truly cares about children and the impact that divorce has on them.
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Rich Higgins was a Marine lieutenant-colonel who saw himself as a peacekeeper and a protector of the nation he loved. His duties in Lebanon required him to be unarmed, and he accepted those conditions as part of the job.
Unfortunately, the Hezbollah did not respect his show of good faith. What happened to Rich and his ever-faithful wife, Robin, will give you the deepest understanding of the contemporary Middle East and the ineffectiveness of our government in protecting its citizens in that area.
"Patriot Dreams" is written with an understated passion that sweeps the reader along; I was unable to put the book down until I finished the last word.
Robin Higgins is an extraordinarly powerful writer. Her work combines the best features of a novel with a strong dose of reality therapy. You will be both wiser and better informed as a result of this read.
The author was a student at North Shore High School when I taught there, and I can, without qualification, vouch for her good character and loyalty. When she introduced me to her husband, Rich Higgins in 1982, he was a major, and she was a captain. You would, as I did, recognize that he was a product of the best of our culture--strong but humane, highly intelligent without conceit, loyal without fanaticism.
Rich Higgins will be mourned, but he must never be forgotten.
Robin's powerful and insightful recounting of her husband's story is extremely timely, as Col. Rich Higgins' fate in Lebanon holds lessons for the peacekeepers now in Iraq. Like the U.N. weapons inspection team in Iraq today, Rich's team sought to enforce peace in a land where war is a way of life. And like lead inspector and fellow Marine, Scott Ritter, who was recently accused by Iraq of spying, Rich was distrusted because he was an effective leader.
It was an honor and a pleasure to serve as editor of this book.
Rich Higgins was a man of courage and honor. He led by example and his troops learned by his example what a genuine warrior is. They loved him. And they still grieve his loss.
The tragedy of the book is that it had to be written at all. Robin's account of the support from many at the highest levels of government is heartwarming. Her criticism of bureaucrats who repeatedly turned their backs on efforts to bring Rich home alive is true, well deserved and chills the soul.
The book is also a love story. Robin loved Rich more than life itself and never wavered in her fight to bring him home. Rich and Robin were fellow Marines, friends and mates. The words included in the book that she wrote to Rich in her journal reach deep inside the soul of one who feared the worst for her husband, yet still dared to hope he was alive.
When Rich's remains were finally dumped on a lonely street in Beirut, she sent a fax to me where I was stationed in Korea, saying only "I can only see one set of footprints in the sand now." That's when I knew Robin's hope had died.
I know Rich is proud of her...for she sought the truth about what happened to him. And she continued the fight to bring him home to the country he for which he lived and died.
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As Magee shows, Wagner's thinking should not be too readily dismissed. Wagner was no philosophical dilletante. He was awesomely well-read in the philosophy, philology and linguistics of his day, in addition to his vast reading in literature ancient and "modern", in history, myth, and the history of myth, and much more. And he was an intelligent and sometimes extraordinarily perceptive man, whose erudition was not just for showing off with but of vital importance to his thought and work.
However Wagner believed, wrongly, that his intuition was as sure a guide in the world of ideas as it was in music and drama. So his philosophical writings follow his intuitions, not his reasoning - indeed he seems to avoid reasoning, except in small bursts, out of principle. His writing is therefore irrational and self-contradictory, obscure in the worst German manner: neither original (except accidentally, where he achieves originality by misunderstanding a source, particularly Schopenhauer), nor lucid, nor "true". "True", that is, in the sense of being based on "matters of fact or reason".
So his philosophy is not, despite what Wagner probably thought, of much importance in its own right. It is mainly important because it permeates and influences his major works, which are among the few most endlessly fascinating human creations of any kind. The increasingly Buddhist resignation, withdrawal from the world, of his later works are steeped in Schopenhauerian doctrine, just as the leftist radicalism of the earlier works are steeped in the work of the libertarian democratic-socialist Feuerbach. Magee's book is invaluable in tracing the effect of these and other philosophers on Wagner's work. _Tristan und Isolde_, for example, was indeed written in the white heat of a love affair, but that love was Wagner's love of Schopenhauer, not of Matthilde Wesendonck.
Wagner's philosophical ideas are important to his work in a way that seems true of no other composer. Mozart's use of Masonic symbols in _Zauberflöte_ and elsewhere (eg his "three" chords, three maidens, three boys, etc) has never seemed more than skindeep, almost flippant, references, while in Wagner the philosophical ideas cut deep both with the drama and the characters. Magee shows how the many complex layers and depths of works like the _Ring_, Tristan_, _Parsifal_, and even the earlier Romantic operas like _Lohengrin_ and _Tannhäuser_, can never be fully explored without an understanding of Wagner's key ideas: the futility and evil of power-seeking and conquest, the struggle of the artist to escape from, and yet redeem, the constricting culture in which they operate, the desirability of losing the world by annihilating one's one ego-consciousness, the value of the irrational and of dream, and much else.
There is another, hopefully temporary, reason why it is worth knowing what Wagner's philosophical ideas actually were. Recently there has been a small avalanche of books presenting Wagner as a proto-Nazi, even a serious influence on Hitler, and one who put proto-Nazi ideas into his dramas. Books by Rose, Weiner, Köhler, Zelinsky, Millington and others creak and twang with the sound of long bows stretched past the breaking point, as they try to fit Wagner's operas and his prose works into a Nazi frame.
And "frame" is the word. As Magee shows, Wagner was a radical democrat when young (democracy being a radical idea at that time, in Europe), who drifted as far right as supporting constitutional monarchy, particularly when constitutional monarchs were writing his cheques. And who, after his disillusionment with Bismarckian Germany, lost interest in politics altogether. There were slim pickings for the Nazis, except for the antisemitism that Wagner shared with Hitler's other favourites, particularly Bruckner, also Beethoven, Bach and Brahms and many others, whose antisemitism is as ignored as Wagner's is stressed.
Magee adds an appendix on Wagner's antisemitism, putting it back in context as a disgraceful form of bigotry, just like the ignorant bigotry of today's taxi-driver who sounds off about Vietnamese, or Afghan, or African immigrants. Wagner, like many a talk radio jock, populist politician and barroom loudmouth of our own day, called for Jews to lose their separate culture and identity and assimilate into German culture. This is contemptibly racist, but the diametric opposite of the Nazi program of racial segregation followed by genocide. I might add, as Magee does not, that Wagner was an ardent abolitionist, passionately opposing slavery in the US. On some racial issues Wagner was more progressive and less racist than many Europeans and Americans of his day. But we seldom hear about this from those who prefer a simple caricature to a complicated human being.
And of course the Nazis banned _Parsifal_ for its pacifist content, as well as banning complete cycles of the _Ring_, which charts Wotan's moral degradation and downfall in pointing out its message of the futility of power and conquest. Magee notes that Wagner performances actually became much less frequent under the Nazis than before the takeover. The soundtrack of the Third Reich was not Wagner, as today's filmmakers think; in reality the opera houses played Auber, Lortzing and Lehar (Hitler never attended a Wagner opera after 1942). When classical music was played at the rallies, it was Bruckner and Liszt as much as, or more than, Wagner, but mainly the music played was "cholly Cherman" brass band music. Magee makes these points clearly and elegantly.
My main criticism of the book is that Magee clearly loves Schopenhauer almost as much as does Wagner. As a result I think he grossly underestimates the influence of the left-wing Feuerbach not only on the early works but on the later works: even _Parsifal_ ends with a political revolution, the peaceful overthrow of a hereditary monarchy. And the _Ring_ ends with us, the vassals and working women, alive after the fire and flood, facing the future with all heroes and gods swept away. I believe there is at least as much Feuerbach and Schopenhauer in the mature operas, and Magee tends to skimp on the continued radicalism of Wagner's Feuerbachian leanings and borrowings.
But this is a minor criticism of a splendid book. It is an invaluable guide to Wagner's philosophy, as well as being a remarkably clear exposition of Schopenhauer's philosophy. Highly recommended.
Cheers!
Laon
Magee presents Wagner as both a great creative artist and a substantial self-conscious intellectual. Magee shows that Wagner made a conscious effort to shape his art to match philosophical/ideological concerns. Wagner's philosophical/idoelogical preoccupations did vary over the course of his life and this resulted in differences in content and forms of his operas. Magee is careful to demonstrate consistent themes (dare I say leitmotifs) throughout this artistic career. These include disgust with contemporary society, strong belief in the importance of love, and a conviction that Wagner's art could have a transforming effect on contemporary life.
Magee shows well that Wagner was initially a political radical and German nationalist with strong anarchist leanings. Under the distant influence of Hegel and the more immediate influence of Feuerbach, Wagner rejected contemporary society, conventional religion and mores, and believed strongly in the redemptive power of love, particularly sexual passion. Along with the idea that he could create an integrated music drama with equal roles for poetry, dramatic expression, and music, these ideas strongly color his early successful operas and writings about artistic theory. Wagner began the Ring cycle with these ideas in mind and intended that the Ring cycle would be an essentially revolutionary document, an incitment to the destruction of contemporary society.
Midway through the lengthy gestation of the Ring cycle, Wagner underwent a conversion experience after he encountered the work of Schopenhauer. Magee treats Wagner's experience with Schopenhauer sensitively. He shows that Wagner's embrace of Schopenhauer was based on very careful reading and analysis of Schopenhauer's work. Magee shows also that Wagner's enthusiasm for Schopenhauer resulted from the fact that Wagner's considerable intellect was already moving towards conclusions reached by Schopenhauer. Wagner's later work is shown to be a combination of Schopenhauerian ideas translated brilliantly into powerful music and opera.
Magee is an excellent writer with a warm, conversational style. As intellectual history this book is first-rate and it is highly accessible. A bonus of this book is that it is an excellent introduction to 19th intellectuals like Schopenhauer and Feuerbach whose work is largely unknown here. As an aside, Magee makes it clear that important ideas usually associated with Freud originally derive from Schopenhauer and Feuerbach. Magee provides also a very good chapter on Nietzsche's relationship with Wagner and an appendix on Wagner's anti-semitism. The former contains what I think is Magee's only misstep. He attributes Nietzsche's descent into insanity as being partly due to Nietzsche's realization that he would never be the creative artist that Wagner became. This is unlikely. Better explanations are that Nietzsche suffered from dementia due to tertiary syphlis or simply developed severe and probably idiopathic depression. The section on Wagner's anti-semitism is clear, unsparing but also vigorously attacks those who judge Wagner solely on this basis. Magee puts Wagner's anti-semitism in context and rebuts claims that his operas exemplify anti-semitism.
Magee writes energetic prose without sacrificing any depth of analysis. I cannot recommend this book too highly to the following: 1) Wagner lovers 2) those interested in late 19th century intellectual history 3) those interested in philosophy 4) anyone who wants to know more about one of the most important thinkers of the last hundred and fifty years.
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1) Print quality
For no apparent reason the text size varies occasionally, and in places the printing is slightly blurred, so that sometimes the subscripts and superscripts on formulae are illegible. Perhaps they skimped on typesetting costs by photoreproducing formulae from the original printing?
2) Incompleteness
If you bought this book because the front cover says "...representation of the fundamental concepts and methods of the whole field of mathematics" (another A.E. quote) you may be disappointed to find this is not the case. Trigonometry, for example, is not discussed, except where it crops up in other topics such as applying calculus to trig functions.
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The seedy world of drugs, gangs, and strip clubs is often unseen or, perhaps, ignored by the typical Myrtle Beach tourist (at least this Myrtle Beach tourist). The Redneck Riviera opened my eyes to the secrets of those sucked into that life.
Three women are driven to confront the demons of their own pasts. Grandmother Anne must admit that she looked the other way while her daughter was abused. Mother Dolly is forced to face her past, swallow her pride, and admit that she needs her mother. Daughter April has to turn from her bitterness and discover her mother's love in order to save herself and her best friend.
Côté has created a "beach novel" with a message, a story that entertains and enlightens. The Redneck Riviera is the story of a family. Each character's definition of "family" is questioned, changed, and ultimately reformed. These women discover that family is more than the ties of flesh and blood. Family is sacrifice, perseverance in hardship, and unconditional love.
The story revolves around two mother's love for their daughters and the power and challenges of the mother-daughter bond. April, Dolly's daughter, C.B. "Cue Ball" Correlli, April's drug-dealer-boyfriend, and a host of other strong, finely-chiseled characters play out a fast-paced, life-and-death adventure on the pages of "The Redneck Riviera." The reader will emerge from the reading enriched by the journey and in possession of a prized souvenir -- time well spent.
Not only were the characters sympathetic and well developed, but I also felt that I had taken a short trip to Myrtle Beach, especially the strip clubs. The world of the dancers is made real, and I got a sense of what their lives are like, right down to the smallest detail of having to avoid a spot on the stage where they could catch a heel on a protruding nail.
Mostly though, the story is about relationships and a second chance to make things right as Dolly has to come to terms with her relationship with her own mother as well as her daughter. She also has to look at her own life and the choices she, herself, has made and is making about men. There's a lot of food for thought here but the story never gets bogged down and the action is constant. Recommended
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With each chapter, Flynn's words became more and more resemblant of a voice in my mind each time the fire fighter in my life kisses me goodbye and says "See you tomorrow." This story is as real as it gets. After closing the back cover, two days ago, I feel greater appreciation and pride for not only the man in my life, but the firefighter in my world. This story is a must read.
I came to read this book from a rather unusual direction. Worth Magazine just did a profile of the most generous Americans, not necessarily those who gave the most money, but as a percentage of what they have, their reasons, and other intangibles beside the traditional yardstick of amount only. Actor/comedian and member of this very special group is Dennis Leary. Of the 6 men who died in this fire, one was his cousin and another was a childhood friend. His foundation has raised $2 million for firefighters in Worcester MA and NYC. His organization was cutting checks 3 months after September 11th in NYC; he has no use for bean counters.
Sean Flynn's book, "3000 Degrees", is easily one of the most powerful books I have read in 2002, it is the first of many books I will now read on Firemen, and others who put themselves in lethal harm's way, for the rest of us. As I read this book, I asked the same question I often ask when men and women put the lives of others before their own, not for a single moment, but every day, for years and often for decades. Some members of a team are the rescue members, and these men enter the building without any fire fighting equipment, like hoses, to protect themselves. They go in looking for victims and are unprotected against flame and other lethalities except by their experience and luck. They are in a burning building looking for you and me before the houses may even be turned on.
Firemen are not drafted; they are not military, although some served prior to becoming Firefighters. The serve their own communities, but adjacent ones when needed, and generally walk in to situations that may kill them to save people they do not know, or to be sure a building is empty of persons. The latter was the case on December 3, 1999. Six men died in a building that was boarded up, and devoid of human life. It had many lives within it for several hours, and then 6 lives became the only bodies that the building would ever contain.
Tim Jackson, Joe McGuirk, Paul Brotherton, Jay Lyons, Tom Spencer, and Jerry Lucey died, because as one person involved in the fire wondered, that 6 of his friends had died because, "two misfits were too scared to dial 911". These misfits not only started the fire, accidentally, they did not report it, but because it is not against the law to fail to report a fire in Massachusetts, even if you started it, neither person was convicted of anything.
Now Julie and Tom continue to live their lives which up until the night they started this fire were notable only for the similarities they shared. They were the personification of life's losers, living illegally, living in filth, living any way they chose as long as it required nothing from them, no effort. And if that meant going to jail, breaking the law, and living in their own filth like no animal would do, that was what they did.
They killed these 6 men by their actions, even if you call their act one of omission as opposed to commission, the men are dead, and Julie and Tom started the fire, Julie and Tom ran, and Julie and Tom did not bother to let anyone know the building they illegally were squatting in was empty. That their illegal residence was barely worth the water to contain the blaze, much less the lives of 6 men, a host of new widows, and a large number of now fatherless children, never occurred to Julie and Tom.
They went to Media Play and listened to music while the fire spread, books were out for Tom, he's illiterate. And while the candle falling over and causing the fire was called an accident, it probably would not have fallen if Tom did not try to force himself on Julie. Tom was in the mood, Julie was not, so 6 men died.
The men who fought this fire and died and those who fought it and lived are all remarkable people. They are people that few of us can measure up to. Are you willing to take a job where you place your life at risk every day, not for fame, or money, or even job security? I don't think you are; I'm not.
Firemen are willing to make the sacrifice, so are Policemen and women. So the next time you are tempted to park in front of a hydrant, don't, next time you get nailed for speeding, take the ticket, call the officer sir or mam, and act like an adult. Don't whine because your radar/laser detector did not allow you to get away with speeding. Want to speed, pay the ticket; don't blame the officer who stops you.
30,000 Firefighters from all over the world came to Worcester to pay their respects to these men and the families that were left behind. So the next time you pass a Firehouse, think about the people in side, you probably don't know them, and they don't know you. Would you die for them, they are prepared to die for you, every minute of every day.
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Thirty years ago this book could not have been written. With the increasing ascendancy of the New World wine makers and in particular the influence of the Davis campus of the University of California, viticulture and oenology are now rigorous, scientific and commercially oriented professions. This is reflected in the "Oxford Companion to Wine" which has to be the most comprehensive, authoritative and accessible resource dealing with all aspects of the world of wine.
Jancis Robinson who edited this encyclopedia of wine is a highly respected wine writer and educator. She is also very well credentialled, holding the prestigious title of "Master of Wine".
The real power of this book as an information source is the very effective use of cross-references. Its great fun to see how far one reference will take you on subjects of particular interest to the reader. It would be good to see this book published as a CD-ROM. Hyper-linking all the cross-references would make it even more powerful.
The changes in the wine business over the past generation have seen the previously exclusive, "clubbiness", almost snobby world of fine wine appreciation opened up to everyone. It is books like this that have provided the sources of knowledge which give people the confidence and curiosity to pursue their interest and enjoyment of wine.
France is the traditional home of fine wine. The French approach to wine making is still dominated by practices and methodologies that go back centuries. It is interesting to see in the "Oxford Companion" the strong contrast between the empirically rigorous New World (particularly USA and Australian) methods and the mystery (or mystique) that even today, shrouds much of the French industry.
One of the best illustrations of this dichotomy in the Companion is the entry on "Terroir". This French term encapsulates the mystique that defines a particular vine growing area. It goes well beyond the issue of soil and microclimate but instead embraces everything that makes a particular wine unique.
In the "Companion" the terroir debate seems to come down on the side which believes the term is used to cover vagueness and explain characteristics that are otherwise difficult to explain. This allows sometimes ordinary wine to be passed off as something special.
Compare this to the innovative, scientifically supported approaches used in the New World. A good example is the development of "Canopy Management" the varying techniques used to optimize the yield and ripening characteristics of a grapevine.
Similarly we have see the arrival of "flying winemakers" from Australia into regions like the Languedoc-Roussillon area of France. They have introduced stainless steel fermentation vessels, temperature control and meticulous cleanliness, to what was previously a very rough and ready local business. They are now producing some of the some best Merlots, acknowledged by even the French.
This book will no doubt become the definitive reference book on all matters to do with the world of wine. It will be of the highest value to both the wine professional and the enthusiastic wine lover.
.
This book is as far removed from that fate as a Petrus is from a White Zinfandel!
At least once a week I have opened up this gorgeous wine tome and looked up the answer to a question, or read more about a particular wine I was enjoying. With over 3,000 entries to choose from, you can explore the ancient roots of wine in Iraq and Egypt, or learn about new vine-growing techniques winemakers are using in Washington State. The information is clearly written, well illustrated, and not overly technical.
Jancis Robinson, the editor of the tome, is well known in the industry for her knowledge and fluency in wines of all types. Combine her amazing knowledge with fantastic photographs of each wine region, and even reviews of various personalities in wine, and you have a book that you'll keep on the coffee table and actually read often! Be warned - you can lose guests in its pages for hours.
The book is great for a beginner. Confused about Beaujolais Nouveau? Want to know how a White Zinfandel differs from a Red Zinfandel? The Oxford Companion to Wine has clear, concise descriptions of all wine types, explaining their histories, their characteristics, and where they're found now.
The Companion is also a boon for experienced drinkers. It goes into the fine details of how wines are grown, and how various winemakers use different techniques to bring out the best in their particular grapes. There are maps of wine regions, and insights into what makes certain wines unique.
Great as a gift for your favorite wine drinker, but buy one for yourself, too! The book is a wonderful reference tool to have around the house. With its lovely photos of France, Italy, and Spain, it serves as a wine-lovers guide to places to visit or dream about, and wines to drink while doing so. Highly recommended as the only wine book you should ever need.
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What! you say.
Well, I bought it a while back, and I never sat down to read it. So yesterday I just grabbed it, and started reading---and despite the fact that it's meant for children, the insight it offers is unparalleled. Maybe some of you have read "The Tao of Pooh" (which I read in high school). That book explains how Winnie the Pooh behaves in a Taoist fashion. But instead of reading the "Tao" book, I think people could have done just as well, if not better, reading the original work.
I have great respect for an author who can write a work that appeals to both children and adults. Such is "The Phantom Tollbooth" or "The Wizard of Oz." Such is "Winnie The Pooh." The joy of reading Winnie is the absurd logic it follows. Or the way it satirizes adults, which it does quite well through the characters of Eeyore and Owl. For example, how can you NOT enjoy this passage from Chapter Four:
"The old grey donkey, Eeyore, stood by himself in a thirsty corner of the forest, his front feet well apart, his head on one side, and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself, 'Why?' and sometimes he thought, 'Wherefore?' and sometimes he thought, 'Inasmuch as which?'---and sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about."
Now the only decision that remains is do I read the other Pooh book I bought, "The House at Pooh Corner" or do I read F. Scott Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby." Hmm.
The paper is crisp, semi-glossy, and brilliant white; the cover and page edges are guilded; the typeface is sharp and crystal-clear; and the full-color endpapers are truly magnificent.
In all and every way this is a truly magnificent and sumptuous edition -- with perhaps the single exception of price. And even then, with such a marvelous work, that is to be expected!
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It covers the figure/ground differenciation, the white/dark balance, perceptual grouping, associations, the importance of contours and in particular apparent contours, illusions, various morphisms (anthropo, zoo, ana, etc.), some subliminal aspects, personality, critique, etc.
The bias towards a Gestalt explanation of all phenomena may sometimes be a bit too much, you just have to be aware of it and keep a critic mind.
This book follows the landmark work of Pr. Arnheim on the subject (Art and Visual Perception), but with a more practical purpose and in a style which is easier to read.
The table of contents provides a good overview of the wide range of topics, which include both the theory and the practice of visual perception, that are covered in the eleven chapters. Some 300 illustrations provide reinforcing connections between the printed words and the visual imagery, and, of course, are indispensable to the discussion of many visual-perception concepts, such as Illusions and Ambiguity (chapter 6).
A unique feature of this book is the inclusion of some 400 concise and relevant quotations from almost that many sources, ranging from Ansel Adams and Aristotle, to Edward Weston and Oscar Wilde, that in addition to being interesting and illuminating by themselves, emphasis the universal significance of the related topic. The reader-friendly writing style of the author is a bonus.
Dr. Leslie D. Stroebel
When asked about the value of books, the author Eric Hoffer, remarked that any book that provides the reader with one new idea, has great value. I believe "Perception and Imaging" will do this and more. The book includes 125 photographs, 300 illustrations and 400 quotations that support the text.
Divorce poison is a sick and serious issue. I don't wish it on any child or parent. If you feel like you are the target of parental alienation, educate yourself, your ex and anyone (lawyers, therapist, family, etc) who has any part in your custody matter. One of the hardest things about the recent outcome of my two year custody battle is to realize how ignorant the court, forensic psychologist, therapist, school system, and especially the father of my son, are about the power and damaging effects divorce poison has on a child.
If you are recently separated and struggling with a vindictive ex, please do not assume things will blow over or die down. People whose personalities allow them to justify bad-mouthing, bashing or even brainwashing often become consumed by revenge and cannot let it go even when it is detrimental to the child. Read Dr. Warshak's book and take action appropriately.
My lawyer made sure Divorce Poison was on our table in full view at all times during our three day custody trial. I just wish the judge could have read it before interviewing my son.
I totally agree with the prior reviewer that said this book is a bible. Picking it up and reading it every time I feel the frustration reassures me that I am not the sick one here nor am I the bad parent. With Dr. Warshak's recommendations, I can continue to try to foster a healthy relationship with my child while trying to address the poison he is being given.