Gordon has an engaging, lucid style, and the first half of the book has some suspense as she pores over records and searches out witnesses for the truth about her father's unusual life. But ultimately the self-pity becomes wearying, and one wishes the author could gain some perspective and be grateful for her blessings.

This book tells the story of Mary Gordon's search to find out about her father who died when she was a little girl. She skillfully weaves together the two aspects of her search. One part of her quest involves researching documents to try to piece together the facts of his life. She finds some things that she would rather not have known, such as his anti-Semitic writings and the fact that he published a pornographic magazine. Then, as she delves into his family history, she is able to understand even these parts of his life.

The other part of her search involves the scrutiny of her childhood memories to try to reconcile the man she remembers with the man she has found in her research. This aspect of the book really touched me because Gordon was able to capture so well the essence of childhood memories. She speaks of the difference in how her father looked to her as a child (dashing and handsome) and the man in the photographs she has from that time (a man who refused to wear his dentures and bought his shoes several sizes too large.) Finally she is able to combine the man from her research with the man from her memory to form a loving and sympathetic picture of her father.

At the end of the book, Gordon writes eloquently of her feelings for her mother. She tells of her mother's deteriorating health and how she has live in a nursing home. She also speaks of the contrast between her aged mother suffering from severe memory loss and her father who is forever young in her mind. She admits that she often wishes her mother's life were over while at the same time she has wished all her life that her father was alive again. Gordon portrays so dramatically this contrast between the aged dependent mother who is living without memories of the past, and the young energetic father who lives only in his daughter's memory.

In the end, she is able to give her father one final gift--a gift which requires a great deal of courage on her part.

Mary Gordon has a rare talent--she is able to remember exactly what it feels like to be a child. She expresses in this book things that I have felt but could never have put into words. It has been a long time since a book has touched me the way this one did

Bottom line, if you have a choice DO NOT buy it or buy a used one...