This book was okay, but not great. Stoddard's books on interior design are her true forte, and I will stick to reading those in the future.

Alexandra Stoddard is one of my favorite authors and over the last four years since I dicovered her I have been able to collect and enjoy 20 of her books. This one continues to be a favorite. It talks about having the courage to be yourself in aspects from decorating to travel to gift giving. Every chapter is beautifully written and includes Alexandra's tradmark -favorite quotes by some of her favorite authors. (this one made me smile, "Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes." -Henry David Thoreau) This is a book that is so helpful and wonderful to have that I can't believe it is out of print and difficult to get. Luckily, Amazon offers Zshops and auctions. If you love, flowers, travel, decorating, gift giving, hosting parties, or clothes and would like to hear valuable insight on all of these topics - this is a book your library shouldn't be without.

I think Alexandra Stoddard is one of the best writers! She discovers little things and small details that we don't even take the time to perceive!!!!!! Her books make us feel connected with us and the world and give us a sense of belonging.

I got this book second hand from my sister during some extremely hard times for our family. I wanted a life filled with more grace, some beauty to inject into the tragedy of basically becoming homeless with a 6-month-old baby in tow. I did find a bit of inspiration in the pages, and I'm guessing that if I were to try and read it again today, now that our circumstances are much better, I could use some of the informaton and ideas. But at the time it all seemed so frivilous, expensive, and hopelessly out of step with Real Life.

It's obvious that Ms. Stoddard has never actually spent a day without money (or family money), no matter what her claims to the contrary. Her idea of beauty appears to be buying things to make your house more beautiful. I was looking for simple things I could do to uplift my hopelessly depressing surroundings, and got "ideas" like buying fountain pens and expensive European writing papers for jotting down notes because they feel nice to write with. Um... with WHAT money?

It's also obvious that she has no small children in the house, because many of her non-purchase ideas are things like "relax with a book," "relax with a cup of broth," "relax by writing a letter," and so on. As mother of a 6-year old boy, I have long since left "relaxation" in the dust.

Here are a selection of her ideas which, if you actually had some of these things already on hand, might work for you... or not:

Put on an attractive apron and unwind by freshening up the house. (Of course, she suggests Laura Ashley aprons)

Dust and clean your books regularly, changing their jackets to match the season. (I don't even know what this means)

Have a family picture taken once a year and have it framed. (Maybe I can get a cheap frame at Ross and just leave the beautiful people in it?)

Serve simple foods like fresh asparagus or creamy, perfect Brie with French bread hot from the oven. (Simply expensive)

Garnishes can be a part of the recipe -- arrange sliced veal on a bed of braised spinach with thin slices of lemon tucked between the overlapping slices. (Veal is gotten from tortured calves and expensive)

If you love beautiful bed pillows, as I do, stack them two or three deep against the headboard. (Even if you made them yourself this would be about $10-15 per pillow, x 11 pillows (how many she has) = $110 minimum just for BED PILLOWS.)

...even when discussing simple things like not letting the telephone bother you in the evening she manages to slip in the tidbit that "our favorite vacation spot is on a tropical island where the rooms have no phones". While discussing back pain she makes sure to give all the luxurious details about her custom-made Canadian maple four poster with Lattoflex supports. There is a paragraph in the bath chapter discussing how her father was vice president of Elizabeth Arden and how their cabinets were "filled with Blue Grass and all the Arden creams, lotions and powders." Is she trying to impress someone, or does she really think everyone has access to these things?

The kicker for me was this: I wrote her a letter explaining our unfortunate circumstances and my desire to bring more calm and beauty to our home. She was pleasant enough in her response, saying that she hoped things would be better for us soon and to just do what we could for the time being.... but then she said... "Perhaps you are just jealous of those who have more?"

I put the book away and have not looked at it since... well, until tonight in order to write this review. In opening it up and skimming through it again, I see that my memories of the book as being "The Rich Woman's Guide to Happiness" are indeed correct. I have never forgotten what Ms. Stoddard said to me, and I cannot forgive the disconnect it shows between her own life and the majority of the world.

So again, if you have cash to spend on Laura Ashley aprons and no children to be bothered with while having a bubble bath with imported French soaps, then this book is for you.

Alexandra Stoddard refers to a time when she was a starving student, but from her description, she has never gone hungry due to not being able to afford food. If you don't have some spare cash left over at the end of each month, or aren't willing to stretch things a bit, this book may not be for you.

However, considering that I once *did* go hungry for a brief period of time, earned pathetic paychecks and still cared enough about my surroundings to make tough (perhaps even stupid) decisions for the sake of my sanity, I simply roll my eyes at some of her claims and read between the lines.

Suggestions in this book include considering decorative hat boxes for day-to-day storage, investing in a fountain pen rather than another few packages of disposables, treating yourself to flowers when you can, going into sumptous stores to get ideas (which I tend to use in more pedestrian stores when I actually start buying stuff :). And that's just what I can remember.

"Living a Beautiful Life" gave me the foundation to really start thinking about my environment, what I wanted and what I didn't. Organization could lead not just to efficiency, but to beauty. I have friends who are slightly more destitute than I am. I have a friend who is a millionaire. I have friends who are inbetween and they all look at my home and marvel at the fact that they couldn't imagine me living anywhere else.

And I don't think that I would have been able to do it without Stoddard's repeated encouragement, which seemed to be telling me that whatever it was I could do for myself, I was more than worth it.

"Living A Beautiful Life" provides simple do-able touches for making your life a little more special. Alexandra Stoddard's ideas do not involve complicated projects using special ingredients or materials that you can only acquire in New York City and Beverly Hills--or for a ridiculously outrageous price from her own store. I discovered her book when I a broke writer and continued to incorporate her ideas when I was a broke grad student. "Beautiful Life" is arranged with special ideas for the main rooms in your home--living room, bedroom, kitchen, bath. Ms. Stoddard's conversational style makes it an easy read, and each chapter includes "grace notes"--simple things that you can do without spending a fortune. In a sense, she encourages ordinary people to experience the zen of decorating--doing something special for yourself, doing some tiny extra to make things a little more attractive. Her ideas are as simple as putting your apples or lemons in a glass bowl in your refrigerator instead of hidden away in the vegetable drawer. Writing with a fountain pen or picking up a seal and sealing wax for a special addition to personal notes really do make thank-yous feel like less a chore. She provides great ideas for getting organized without making it feel like work. Much better than anything I've seen from Martha Stewart!

I brought this book because I am getting married and wanted to learn more about creating a loving home. I expected this book to leave me with feelings or warmth but instead it left me cold. In particular in one segment of the book, called defining momements, Ms. Stoddard describes a defining moment in her marriage where she decides not to pack her bags and leave her husband. Her husband's teenage son from a previous marriage had thrown a wild party in their absence and destroyed the house. After her husband convinces her to stay ,a decision is reached that the best thing for everyone is if the son goes to boarding school. While I don't condone the actions of the son I certainly know many families who have faced difficulties like this with teenage children. Leaving their husband or removing the offending child from the home are usually not the options considered. At the time of the incident the son's natural mother was in an irreversible coma. I think this was a defining moment in their family but more for the parent-child relationship then for the husband-wife relationship. In another part of the book Ms. Stoddard refers to another one of her husband's sons as a juvenile delinquent. I think this is a very unloving label/reference toward a troubled child. While I believe this child may have behaved in some truly destructive ways, I also believe no one is born a juvenile delinquent. They are created.

I thought this was a wonderful class on marriage from an honest female perspective. In college, I took a class about marriage, but it was taught by a man and had more suggestions about what a man could do to be a successful marriage partner. While men and women could both learn from this book, I appreciated the female perspective from an author who sees marriage as an equal partnership.

Living in Love rates as high as Alexandra Stoddard's previous books. For those who long to have a gracious, loving home and extended family this book is a MUST! Jam packed with simple ideas we all can impliment

"Grace Notes" is a wonderful, pocket-sized book that urges you to reach in to your inner-self and out to others. Each day list a thoughtful quote, two 'grace notes' and a spot for you to jot down your own ideas. I usually can't help myself and skip ahead to future days. The size is perfect and I can stash the book in my purse or briefcase so I'm never without some helpful encouragement. The only thing I didn't like was the book is a little drab. Everything in the book is black-and-white but I think for such a feel-good book some color is in order.

This book is a treasure-not to be read quickly but savored when settled into a quiet moment with a cup of tea. It is like self-therapy: encouraging on a bleak day, uplifting when needed, enhancing the best moments, and consoling during the worst. Less structured than many of Stoddard's other works, this book meanders like daily thoughts, exploring reoccurring themes such as:
> Defining the ingredients of happiness. ("Often we learn about unhappiness from being unhappy. We need strategies and tools to better cope with unhappiness, disappointment, and pain.... Approximately half of the ways to increase our happiness can be derived from wise, imaginative choices. The other half comes from our willingness to accept whatever happens, to make the necessary adjustments and move forward....Pleasure is experienced in our outer environment; joy originates within. Love of life and others is the goal. Choosing happiness is the way.")
> Cultivating mindfulness. ("By developing the capacity to be fully present in each moment, we will live a life of greater depth and meaning.... All experiences have the power to transform us when we're fully alive to the beauty of a present moment's encounter.")
> Sensitivity to our environment. ("The care and maintenance that we put into our immediate physical environment, our homes, our gardens, our possessions, our clothes, will always add to our sense of well-being and inner peace.")
> Cultivating our "inner garden."
> Ways to prioritize. ("When we prioritize what tasks we must perform, we're able to immerse ourselves in what we do. Whenever we try to do too much in too little time, we are less effective and don't do anything well.")
> Developing our defining words to help us "be true to ourself in our life choices."
> Counteracting the negative with the positive. ("We get good vibes by giving them....Being fully present. Listening well-these small gestures of caring are magical when they become a habit, a happy continuing experience....Miserable people cause most of the problems.... A gentle opposing energy can bring balance.")
> Expending energy to gain energy. ("Whatever positive vibrations we send out come back to us in rich benefits.... The more often we give off good energy-even if only in optimistic, compassionate thoughts and insightful ideas-the more opportunities we'll have to live vibrantly moment to moment.... Appreciation energizes.")
> Following goals. ("When we decide what we want to do with our life, and move in the direction of our goals, when we challenge ourselves to personal growth as a regular discipline, we put everything we have into everything we do.")
> Thanking others. ("Thanking people for services they perform for you can bring dignity and pleasure to their jobs. The extra little effort, whether made in person, over the telephone, or in writing, adds grace to the giver as well as the receiver and encourages the energy of happiness.")
> Handling pain. ("Painful times in our lives are emotional marathons, and we know marathon runners don't run on empty. We need to be in training in order to be at our strongest, most courageous best.... We should focus our energy on how we react to circumstances beyond our control, not on why something painful has happened.... When we bravely face truth, we use our energies to do whatever good we can.... The global family as a whole is not a happy one. There is sorrow at every turn-sadness because of lack of love, pain because of loss of hope, bitterness that is entrenched. What a wonderful gift we're given to be able to be of help.... Participate with joy in the sorrows of the world.")
> Gardening as a metaphor. ("We can think of our home as a lovely garden that we enjoy cultivating.... The houses where we live don't thrive on benign neglect. Living abundantly requires lots of loving energy.... When the energy is positive, when every wall, every corner exudes light and charm, there is no need to have anything that is not meaningful, useful, or beautiful.... Make your home a garden so breathtakingly beautiful that you inspire happiness in everyone you welcome in.... Our homes are our ideal earthly paradise.")
The necessity of ritual. ("Aesthetic qualities feed the human spirit and offer us color and variety as well as opportunities to feel grace notes of happiness.... When we are awake to the full potential of each moment, nothing is ever routine.")
> Following our dreams. ("Dreams come true when there is a clear, far-sighted perspective on what we most want from life and what energies we are willing to expend to achieve it.... We are like bees. We move about, going from here to there, having thousands of different experiences, and learning how to cultivate our own. We take everything in, then we make our honey, our own dreams come true, our own happiness.")
> The importance of solitude. ("We need regular times alone to better understand what is happening inside us and around us and to integrate our lives into a larger perspective.")
> Being open to happy accidents. ("Be on the lookout for the gift of making fortunate discoveries by accident. A great deal of happiness comes as a result of the things we are not consciously searching for but discover with surprise. We can delight in the reality of any given moment.")
> Setting limits. ("No matter how large our hearts or how sensitive we are to the needs of others, no life can be lived well without limits.... None of us will be happy if we try to be all things to all people, all the time.... With courage, resolution and perseverance we can set our boundaries, know our limits, listen to our conscience.")
These and many other topics can help each of us to achieve more enrichment in our everyday lives. What is most special about Stoddard's writing is her very visual and sensual descriptions of the simple ordinary beauty in everyday life. Spiced with examples and stories from personal experience, Stoddard makes philosophic concepts real, practical, and attainable. No one can read this book without enhancing their own lives. This book is hard to read quickly and is better experienced one segment at a time. It is a testimony to licking the cream from existence; something each of us can always do with greater mindfulness.

This book is a treasure-not to be read quickly but savored when settled into a quiet moment with a cup of tea. It is like self-therapy: encouraging on a bleak day, uplifting when needed, enhancing the best moments, and consoling during the worst. Less structured than many of Stoddard's other works, this book meanders like daily thoughts, exploring reoccurring themes such as:
> Defining the ingredients of happiness. ("Often we learn about unhappiness from being unhappy. We need strategies and tools to better cope with unhappiness, disappointment, and pain.... Approximately half of the ways to increase our happiness can be derived from wise, imaginative choices. The other half comes from our willingness to accept whatever happens, to make the necessary adjustments and move forward....Pleasure is experienced in our outer environment; joy originates within. Love of life and others is the goal. Choosing happiness is the way.")
> Cultivating mindfulness. ("By developing the capacity to be fully present in each moment, we will live a life of greater depth and meaning.... All experiences have the power to transform us when we're fully alive to the beauty of a present moment's encounter.")
> Sensitivity to our environment. ("The care and maintenance that we put into our immediate physical environment, our homes, our gardens, our possessions, our clothes, will always add to our sense of well-being and inner peace.")
> Cultivating our "inner garden."
> Ways to prioritize. ("When we prioritize what tasks we must perform, we're able to immerse ourselves in what we do. Whenever we try to do too much in too little time, we are less effective and don't do anything well.")
> Developing our defining words to help us "be true to ourself in our life choices."
> Counteracting the negative with the positive. ("We get good vibes by giving them....Being fully present. Listening well-these small gestures of caring are magical when they become a habit, a happy continuing experience....Miserable people cause most of the problems.... A gentle opposing energy can bring balance.")
> Expending energy to gain energy. ("Whatever positive vibrations we send out come back to us in rich benefits.... The more often we give off good energy-even if only in optimistic, compassionate thoughts and insightful ideas-the more opportunities we'll have to live vibrantly moment to moment.... Appreciation energizes.")
> Following goals. ("When we decide what we want to do with our life, and move in the direction of our goals, when we challenge ourselves to personal growth as a regular discipline, we put everything we have into everything we do.")
> Thanking others. ("Thanking people for services they perform for you can bring dignity and pleasure to their jobs. The extra little effort, whether made in person, over the telephone, or in writing, adds grace to the giver as well as the receiver and encourages the energy of happiness.")
> Handling pain. ("Painful times in our lives are emotional marathons, and we know marathon runners don't run on empty. We need to be in training in order to be at our strongest, most courageous best.... We should focus our energy on how we react to circumstances beyond our control, not on why something painful has happened.... When we bravely face truth, we use our energies to do whatever good we can.... The global family as a whole is not a happy one. There is sorrow at every turn-sadness because of lack of love, pain because of loss of hope, bitterness that is entrenched. What a wonderful gift we're given to be able to be of help.... Participate with joy in the sorrows of the world.")
> Gardening as a metaphor. ("We can think of our home as a lovely garden that we enjoy cultivating.... The houses where we live don't thrive on benign neglect. Living abundantly requires lots of loving energy.... When the energy is positive, when every wall, every corner exudes light and charm, there is no need to have anything that is not meaningful, useful, or beautiful.... Make your home a garden so breathtakingly beautiful that you inspire happiness in everyone you welcome in.... Our homes are our ideal earthly paradise.")
The necessity of ritual. ("Aesthetic qualities feed the human spirit and offer us color and variety as well as opportunities to feel grace notes of happiness.... When we are awake to the full potential of each moment, nothing is ever routine.")
> Following our dreams. ("Dreams come true when there is a clear, far-sighted perspective on what we most want from life and what energies we are willing to expend to achieve it.... We are like bees. We move about, going from here to there, having thousands of different experiences, and learning how to cultivate our own. We take everything in, then we make our honey, our own dreams come true, our own happiness.")
> The importance of solitude. ("We need regular times alone to better understand what is happening inside us and around us and to integrate our lives into a larger perspective.")
> Being open to happy accidents. ("Be on the lookout for the gift of making fortunate discoveries by accident. A great deal of happiness comes as a result of the things we are not consciously searching for but discover with surprise. We can delight in the reality of any given moment.")
> Setting limits. ("No matter how large our hearts or how sensitive we are to the needs of others, no life can be lived well without limits.... None of us will be happy if we try to be all things to all people, all the time.... With courage, resolution and perseverance we can set our boundaries, know our limits, listen to our conscience.")
These and many other topics can help each of us to achieve more enrichment in our everyday lives. What is most special about Stoddard's writing is her very visual and sensual descriptions of the simple ordinary beauty in everyday life. Spiced with examples and stories from personal experience, Stoddard makes philosophic concepts real, practical, and attainable. No one can read this book without enhancing their own lives. This book is hard to read quickly and is better experienced one segment at a time. It is a testimony to licking the cream from existence; something each of us can always do with greater mindfulness.

as always, with alexandra's books, I was not disappointed. I will add this one to my shelf to read and reread. My daughters (22-24yr) also enjoy borrowing my alexandra books for inspiration on decorating and life in general. I savor her books!

The problem with Alexandra's books is that once you've read one, you've read them all. I purchased Living a Beautiful Life and it has the same Grace Notes inside that others reference in her other books, like...Decant your mouthwash, Splurge on Flowers, etc. Did she actually forget she already gave us those hints years ago or what?

This book lacks an index..

Alexandra Stoddard makes recommendations for ceiling, wall and trim color; picture hanging; lighting; built-in shelving; counter and table heights, a much more. But she doesn't make it even moderately easy to find that information.

Very frustrating. It does have some good tips, though.

My husband and I have recently purchased our first home. After looking at many interior decorating books and many many pictures, I've found that this book has inspired me more than any other and there are no pictures! (Except a few drawings.) This book really gets you to appreciate what you have and not what you don't have. I think most design books show photos of houses that obviously cost a fortune and were decorated/designed by a proffesional. Not much help really when you live in the typical suburban split level. We think our house is great and this book has helped me to focus on what's great about it and enhance those features. If you need inspiration and some solid ideas (the grace notes are terrific) I'd highly recommend this book. I initially got mine from the library, but I will definitely be buying a copy of my own.

This book ends up being a personal account of Ms. stoddard's day-to-day life, which is really far from interesting. As far as information on tea, it is sadly lacking and even, on occasion, presents inaccurate information; a much better choice would be Jane Pettigrew's The Tea Companion. If you want a disorganized, "dreamy" little book about nothing, this is it. The question arises: who would compose a work that is so self-absorbed?

What a rare treat this little volume is! I had to pace myself to prolong the enjoyment. Reading it was like having a wonderful conversation with a kindred soul over a great cup of tea. Alexandra shares inspiration and wonderful recipes as an added bonus along with her great conversation.

I havae read this book numerous times and have each time found new and interesting items missed the last time through.Ms.Stoddard presents tea celebration in such a way that one looks forward to being able to have friends over to enjoy. It is too amazing the way one looks forward to enjoying a cuppa alone. I have decided that when I enjoy tea by myself--as Ms.Stoddard encourages the preparation is also important-but when that cup is poured I can sit back, sip by sip, and watch the world go by.

I borrowed this book from the library, and having finished it, I'm now going to buy it so I can keep referring to it. This is the first "decorating" book among the many I've read that really explained decorating/design principles rather than beguiling me with photos (although I liked her photos, too, especially the attic retreat). I was interested to read another reviewer's comment that Ms. Stoddard was talking down to her readers. Several years ago I thought that too when I read "Creating a Beautiful Home." I remember feeling resentful and thinking, "Oh, sure, if you have money..." In this book, however, I came to understand that she's not dwelling on what you spend on things but rather things you can do to enhance your daily life that don't depend on money. I particularly appreciated the exercises Ms. Stoddard gave and her anecdotes about her own teacher. And her explanation of the Golden Mean is the clearest I've ever read.

I really like the way Mrs.Stoddard writes, very clear, simple and full of delightful details for the readers to understand what she means. You don't have to have a lot of money to live a beautiful life, just commonsense, beauty thoughts and a will to truly express yourself in your everyday life. This book, like all the others that I've read written by her, were a delight to read and a very good guide for those who want to improve their day-to-day life, paying more attention to minor details that really make a difference. Congratulations, Mrs.Stoddard, on your words, your thoughts shared with us, the way you put the words, tha quotations that you use as examples, the presentation of the books.I'm a big fan of yours and if I have the opportunity one day, I'll attend one of your lectures. Thank you for sharing your ideas with all of us.

very informative. a pleasure to read. alexandra is a postive person and it shows in her words. great pictures of her own home...

I think when most people read Alexandra Stoddard for the first time they either love her books and become a loyal reader or they really dislike her writing style. At least that is what I get from some of the other Stoddard book reviews. I fall into the category of "love her books." Whenever I need to be uplifted or just want a brief escape, I open one of Alexandra Stoddard's books. I always feel inspired. This book was no exception. What I enjoyed most about this book, was keeping the home journal that she suggested. It has been a great tool and made reading the book even more fun.

A must for those of us who want to love our homes more. More than a collection of decorating ideas and tips, you embark on a journey of what meaningful living is to you. Alexandra asks her readers to keep a journal as they turn the pages of a book that provokes thoughts and insights into one's own preferences. Remarkably, you feel as if Alexandra is guiding you in person instead of through words on pages. Included is an in depth interview with one of Alexandra's clients, narrative on 15 essential elements of emotional comfort, helpful recommendations for balancing time and ideas on cultivating creativity. These concepts are interwoven with revealing personal and profeesional experiences as well as pictures of Alexandra's New York apartment. This book is great alone or as follow up to "Decoration Of Houses" and "Open Your Eyes". Enjoy!

I always enjoy Alexandra Stoddard's books and this one is no exception. From the beautiful, juicy layout colors to the message, she is a writer filled with grace. Her ideas are wonderful, practical, easy to do, not necessarily expensive and even if you do absolutely nothing but recline on the sofa and read this book, you'll fill uplifted. However, I encourage you to answer the questions she raises because you will learn a lot about yourself and your needs and priorities. There is also a GREAT transcript of interviewing a client family--you get to see how she deals with truculent family members.