If you have addictions of any kind, you should read this book. At the core of what keeps us addicted is often shame and the rejection of the power of grace. We may be shamed by ourselves, our family, our church or our society. We miss the magnitude and scope of God's grace. Satan thrives on that and convinces us how despicable we are, driving us further into our addictions (how can a miserable person like me deserve to be close to God). A vicious cycle, which was close to being broken, continues anew. This book helps us understand that, which gets us on the path to recovery.

This book was given to me to read for a class I took in college, and am I ever glad it was! It's a great book! Once you start reading it, you really start understanding yourself and others better! It opened my eyes to the shame I don't deserve and the grace God offers me that I was pushing away! Read this book!

This book was recommended to me by a counsellor. I could hardly put it down. Even after 3 years of Seminary training some of the principles and perspectives presented here were refreshing to my soul. Buy it and read it and give it to someone you love.

This book's subtitle -- "Keeping Hope Alive for a Tomorrow We Cannot Control -- is more descriptive of its content than the title. Smedes explores the subject of hope from three angles: what everyone should know about hope; how the hopeful keep hope alive; and when God enters into hope. The author shares his wisdom from a philosophical view, a theological view, and a practical view -- all with open honesty. His real-life illustrations clarify his viewpoints. He writes about hope being our most precious energy source, but he also warns that false hope can be worse than no hope, even heartbreaking. Lewis Smedes is a respected counselor, retired teacher of ethics at Fuller Seminary, and a best-selling author of "Forgive and Forget" and "Shame and Grace." (Mature Living, March 1999, reviewed by Mary Darby)

Smedes' book has wonderful stories of hope inside its cover. Our world sometimes seems so hopeless, but this book will help hope come alive within you. Everyone should read this no matter what religion you are - hope is at the center of your faith and this book will strengthen your hope for the future. Smedes really writes to everyone!

The problem with our society today is that individuals do not have enough hope. If only everyone could read the pages of Smedes' book our world would be a better place and our children would have hope for their futures. I beg everyone to read this incredibly wise and inspirational book. The stories alone are worth the price - renewing or finding your hope is the bonus.

I am often left with a lack for the proper words when someone shares one of life's problems with me. This book has given me the words and the confidence to use them when one of these opportunities comes my way now.

It has helped the lives of those I come into contact with as well as my own life.

But if you have been seriously wronged, you need this. It is not the best written, but the material is great.

I have bought this book at least four times, because each time I get it, someone desperately needs it, then they ask if they can keep it. Read this book if you've been hurt. It is very readable, and brings out what's really wrong inside. Forgiving very often is God's medicine for the heart, Reading this book may lead you towards a freedom you never thought you could have.

I lived with a cheater for 5 years and it really helped starting the process of forgiveness

"Forgive and Forget" covers forgiveness for deep devistating hurts through to minor slights. This book is profound and poignant. It helps you understand what forgiveness really means and how to know when you have started to forgive.

"The only way to heal the pain that will not heal itself is to forgive the person who hurt you. Forgiving stops the reruns of pain. Forgiving heals your memory as you change your memory's vision."

"A major ingredient in free forgiving is respect for the person being forgiven."

Mr. Smedes includes in his book:
- The four stages of forgiving
- Forgiving people who are hard to forgive
- How people forgive
- Why forgive?

This book answered many of my questions on forgiveness, though not all of them. It is a superb book, worth reading more than once. I recommend it!

I've struggled with some very painful issues in my life, and read several other books on forgiveness, but they left me feeling like I could never do what they suggested, and did nothing to help me to heal from the painful things that others have done to me. With this book I found that many of the things I'd already gone through were a part of forgiveness, and made forgiving someone within my grasp. I learned that it wasn't necessary to forget about the painful experiences in order to forgive, or to condone the action of the perpetrator in order to be able to forgive them. I didn't need to excuse their behavior by putting myself in their shoes to try to understand why their behavior had an excuse. I borrowed this book from a friend, but after reading it, I decided it was too good of a book to not have a copy of my own.

Forgive and Forget sounds like wisdom handed down from parents or grandparents. Lewis Smedes gently leads us through the WORK of forgiveness to the realization that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. This book changed my life and I am grateful.

I was rather disappointed when I read this book. What I basically got from this book was that it is okay to do sexual activities such as sexual petting, heavy petting, and all of the above...including sexual intercourse depending on your circumstance. I was disappointed. If this is the case then where does chastity and purity end and immorality and impurity begin? He contradicts himself by saying that (heavy) petting is ok but then says one mustn't confuse himself by thinking that he/she is chaste if he does decide to pet. Well then what is the point? There were many contradictions in this book.

The next problem I had dealt with the pornography section of his book. He states that it is ok for the husband to look at porn as long as he isn't comparing that porn to his wife and other things. I don't know a woman in the world that enjoys being married to a man who wants to view porn. (I'm talking about Christian women.)

I remember reading the book and putting it down close to the end out of disgust! I'm not saying his book is totally horrible. There are some things addressed in there that are actually good...however, these things are very few.

If you believe that sexual petting and all the other stuff that comes after that is ok, then you may like this book. If you don't, then I'm sure that you will be, like me, disappointed. Don't agree? Again...this is just my opinion.

This book is fatally flawed in that the author does not rely on the bible for his information, and instead uses his own reasoning to draw his conclusions. Even though the book has a lot excellent information, I would not recommend it. On many occasions I found myself wondering about all of the scriptures the author could have referenced to clarify the topic. In a number of cases the author is clearly mistaken and directly contradicts the plain teaching of scripture.

I found this book really made me take a second look at my views of what the Bible actually says and does not say about our sexuality. I have been very afraid of looking at this issue, as I suppose most are, because of a lot of tradition that has arisen around christian dating and exceptable christian physical ethics which are not stated in the Bible. It has been truely educational to see that someone has used godly wisdom to discern where the Bible does not speak. It asks the questions everyone has asked and brings to light what many born again christian's struggle to find answers for. He supports the Bible fully where it speaks against immorality but encourages thought where the Bible does not and christian tradition has stepped in. Although there are some parts that do not need alot of thought about whether it is wrong or not, such as the morality of transexualism (clearly wrong) which he covers and stands biblically. I think that I, along with many other christian's, have found sexuality to be a burden, though it is God given, instead of looking at it through the Creator's eyes. I encourage anyone to read this book atleast to reasses what they believe and why. Smedes does not encourage us, like most to cut out a part of our redeemed being which many hope to use once they are married. Christian's need to think and think hard.