List price: $14.95 (that's 30% off!)
List price: $11.95 (that's 26% off!)
She describes how everyone is motivated differently and by using her techniques you will be able to determine what motivates you. She will help you learn how to take steps to make your desires come true even when you feel like you can't possibly succeed. The author describes techniques for a strong imaginary support system that will help you achieve your goals.
This book is very different than the usual "you can do it" book. If you follow the simple steps with this book "you will do it"! A wonderful book! You can start implementing the steps right away and be on your way to the life you love! As I read her book I put her suggestions to work. I can not believe how much easier it is to accomplish my goals!
It is split into two broad sections: the first helps you to answer the question "What are my goals?"; the second, "How do I achieve them?". The first section contains a number of fairly standard exercises to help you brainstorm your goals. If you are new to the idea of goal-setting, this is a great place to start; however, if you have done many exercises in goal-setting, then most of these exercises will be familiar. However, I suspect that most people will find something of use here, no matter how well- read they are.
The second section is where the book comes into its own. The authors outline a number of tools and methods to help you be successful once you know what your goals are. Some of them are to do with planning, some to do with emotions and managing your state, some are to do with getting the help of others.
The planning model is the best I've come across, and I've done some formal training on planning in a corporate environment. It doesn't cover complex ideas like GANT charts, critical-path analysis, and so on, but it does provide a simple, workable, and effective method of setting out what you'll actually need to do to reach your goal. And it all boils down to two simple questions .....
Can I do this tomorrow? If not, what do I need to do first?
Keep going through those two questions, and you'll end up with a plan consisting of achievable steps that you can do in a day, rather than huge steps which take days or weeks to accomplish. One of the difficulties that many people experience with tasks of this size is due to lack of specificity; breaking the task down into smaller ones helps to make it more 'real' and hence easier to get started on and to acccomplish.
However, in any planning model, particularly where you are venturing out into uncharted territory, there will be some points in your plan where you simply do not know what steps are required - if you are familiar with the idea of unconscious incompetence, then you'll know what I mean. (If not, take a quick look at the article below). Again, using one simple idea, the authors can help you to overcome those problems, based on the idea that if you can't do something, then you know someone who can, or you know someone who knows someone who can, or you know someone who knows someone who...
They call the idea 'barnraising', from the idea in certain communities where each person helps the others build their barn, and then receive help from each person in building their own barn. They suggest getting all your friends, family, and colleagues together; tell them EXPLICITLY what you want; and see how they can help. At the same time, help them with their goals or plans. Whilst not a new idea, the authors go out of their way to tell you that you don't have to do everything by yourself, and then give you a framework in which to work with others to achieve your mutual goals. Anyone familiar with Stephen Covey's Seven Habits will immediately recognize the win/win situation.
Where this ties in nicely with NLP is the 'explicit' part: the meta-model is the ideal tool here for: A) defining what you need B) clarifying exactly what help others can provide C) helping others define what they need.
The authors also provide two questions that will help if you encounter a problem in the form of 'I can't do/have X until I have/do Y' The two questions are:
How can I get X without having/doing Y? How can I get/do Y?
Later, the book covers some basic time management skills, and some general strategies for dealing with fear, including one called 'Lower Your Standards - at First'. The latter goes against many positive thinking-type books by saying if your goals are too far beyond your current beliefs about what you can do, you will most likely be afraid. The way to reduce your fear is to aim to do things badly, then there is no problem if you do actually do them badly. Then, when you've got some experience under your belt, you will be in a position to set realistic, challenging, and achievable goals.
The comments I've written here sound fairly mundane - I'm not one to rant and rave over a book. One of the biggest complements that I can give a book is to say that I will never throw it away, and I will read it at least once per year without fail. I've had this book for about 4 years now, and I've read it 5-6 times, and I will never throw it away (at least, I might, but only to replace it with a less dog-eared copy). Its simplicity, elegance, and plain- talking, combined with sold, practical advice, make it one of my favourite books.
List price: $13.95 (that's 20% off!)
My only caveat is that, as she's offering sympathy and understanding for some of the difficult aspects of midlife, she sometimes sounds dogmatic about how universal and inevitable some aspects are or the timetable on which they can be expected. For example, in the first chapter she works very hard to convince the reader to come to terms with loss of physical beauty and romantic possibilities. I first read the book when I was pushing 38, and that chapter left me with the impression that I could pretty much mark the date on my calendar when I would be totally unattractive and unable to get a date again in my life. I'm 41 now and still -- in all honesty -- very attractive, with men expressing interest in me frequently, and I know plenty of other people my age who are very good-looking and have lots of sex appeal. But that chapter almost sounds like she thinks that anyone who's pushing 40 and still thinks they can turn heads is just living in fantasyland and they should just "deal with reality." So I think she laid it on a bit thick there, and in a few other places as well, where she's trying to convince the reader "It's no big deal, this aspect of aging happens to everyone and it's not the end of the world" but it may be bewildering or frightening to readers who aren't yet 40 and are wondering whether all these things will happen exactly on schedule, or for people whose experience of being 40-something doesn't precisely match what she describes. So I recommend this book to my late-thirty-ish friends, but I warn them not to take every last bit of it to heart, like the implication that they're guaranteed to look like hell by age 40.
No doubt, if you actually read the book and do the work, you will achieve amazing results with your life. Sher makes it easy. Of course, if you'd just rather continue to complain, well, Sher would support you in putting on the biggest pity party of your life -- until you finally got sick of yourself enough to change! A more positive way to consider your life and everything in it, is only the beginning of the benefits of reading this book.<...P>Barbara Sher and her message are an American, and International, treasure.
List price: $16.95 (that's 30% off!)
The question to ask of any self-help book is: can it really help? Yes, definitely, if you approach Sher's book without any expectations. If you think it's going to make you get up and quit that job you dread going to day after day, forget it. Sher's work here is to adjust your thinking not your life - that's up to you. As stated in the Upanishads: "As one's thinking is, such one becomes. " After reading this book, you just might appreciate that "dreaful" job you have and see how it actually helps get on with the work you really love to do. On the other hand, you might also find that the lifelong work you have been dreaming about can truly be a nightmare. It's all a matter of perspective as Sher points out so effectively.
I would recommend this book to anyone who felt it was time for a change and a little introspection. Whether you are highly creative or down-to-earth and practical, everyone can learn a lesson or two from Sher's revealing insights.