Self esteem is absolutely essential in dealing with the challenges of life. Feeling good about yourself because of who you are rather than who your friends think you should be is what will help your child (and you) deal with peer pressure and making positive decisions. This book offers examples and suggestions that will help you develop a healthy and secure sense of yourself and your world. I bought it for my kids, but found it a great read for myself and a great resource for helping my children feel good about themselves and easing the pressure they often feel from their peers. It tells you not only how to take responsibility for your feelings, needs, and behaviors, it explains why that's important. A great find. Our whole family will benefit from this book.

I bought this for my 12-year old daughter, but once I glanced through it, I couldn't put it down! Especially helpful for women with stoic upbringings, martyre complexes, or rescue tendencies. This book actually lists, describes and illustrates the emotions and needs we all possess. Yet, being written for 9 to 12 year olds, can be quickly and easily read, understood and put into practice.

Fro anyone who is struggling with coming out issues, or for anyone who has a gay or lesbian friend or family member this is an ESSENTIAL read. The book deals with the issue of shame that is tied to the coming out of many gay and lesbian people and offers help in getting rid of that shame. Written with compassion, this book gives the reader a sense of freedom and is a gret help in the coming-out process. Highly recommended!

As a young man coming out, my journey of self-discovery started with quiet months of reading. I read everything I could get my hands on about homosexuality and being gay. This book stands out as the single greatest influence during and since that time. The authors have taken a careful and thorough examination of the sociology and psychology of shame as it relates to being gay. The reading is thick, but worth the time to slowly wade through and internalize the material. I found myself saying, "Finally, someone who understands my whole mindset!" I began to change my thinking as I read it. Congratulations to the authors for writing a book so important to the lives of many.

I'm not eloquent enough to tell you about why this book is so good or how it helped me so much, but I do want people who are reading the customer reviews for this book to know that this book made a HUGE and POSITIVE impact on my life--it really helped me combat my inner turmoil over self-esteem and coming/being out. Coming out is one of the hardest things I think any human being has to do--and there are a lot of emotional issues tied up into it, one being this guilt or shame of existing. ("I feel guilt/shameful that I'm gay.") Society burns this feeling into gay and lesbian people's brains. This book will help you repair some of that damage and find your true, whole self. I am so thankful to Drs. Kaufman and Raphael for writing this book--it is truly an important contribution to the literature about coming out and an honest-to-God lifesafer. I recommend this book with all my heart.

As a fellow gay Jew, I was very interested in reading these short stories. And I was not disappointed. Each story was so well-written and really hit home. The impact of the Holocaust on our generation is not to be underestimated and as a gay Jewish man, this seems all that more powerful. The most moving story was that of Great Aunt Rose (ironically I also had a Great Aunt Rose). That reallz made me think, espeiallz how Raphael says that Americans always want to analyze. I really thought that the story written for class was so wonderful. Imagine my surprise when Rose is just devastated.

Snippets of day to day life, told from the viewpoint of being both Gay & Jewish, with which any Gay man can identify regardless of his religion. Enlightening for anyone Jewish who believes Gays must be different from straights; comforting in its affirmaton that we are not unique in our feelings.

Delightfully witty with just enough of a mystery edge to make even the most ardent mystery novel officiando interested in the plot twists, Lev Raphael has woven yet another skillful installment in the life (and deaths) of Nick Hoffman. Raphael's depiction of American academia is, perhaps painfully, right on the money. He captures not only the politics of American higher education, but also some of its more colorful characters. Yes, the plot's good: all of his novels thus far have exhibited the nice twists and turns one expects--wants--from a murder mystery novel. However, Raphael goes beyond that and peoples his novels with wonderful characters who bring life and wit to the novel. His are not plodding sleuth sagas. Raphael blends mystery plot with style, satire, and character development (hey, when was the last time you read a murder mystery series in which the main character developed over time?). As a writer, Raphael has a keen ear for dialog and a keen eye for description. A must read for readers of any genre!

If you can't go home again, you can always return for a visit or two. Self-described recovering academic Lev Raphael left university teaching for a full-time writing career. In between producing more literary works -- a novel, a collection of short stories and an analysis of Edith Wharton's fiction -- he's also written three witty mysteries skewing the academic world he left.

His comic alter ego, Nick Hoffman, came to the State University of Michigan to teach classes in the English, American Studies and Rhetoric Department and to be with Stefan, his partner. He also wants to make tenure. But his sharp tongue, lack of allies and preference for teaching over research hurts his chances enough if it weren't for all the bodies he keeps discovering.

By the time Raphael's third book opens, Hoffman's career is foundering and sinking fast. His involvement as amateur detective has brought unfavorable publicity to the university, and his chances darken further by simply being within eyeshot of a murder -- this time of a young man killed during a melee between a campus preacher and a group of students.

"The Death of a Constant Lover" -- the title is a reference to 19th-century English novelist Benjamin Constant --is more a novel of university life and politics than a murder mystery. The investigation moves in fits and starts as Hoffman finds himself also dealing with other problems: death threats are being sent to his office mate, a woman hired to fulfill SUM's diversity quota, and the effect on his relationship with Stefan when he is dropped by his publisher.

Raphael's third book is slightly darker than his first two. Hoffman's joie de vive is dampened by the violence around him, making "Death of a Constant Lover" not so much a darker book -- we're not talking about James Ellroy here -- but simply not as bright and vivacious than the first two books. That's not a criticism so much as an observation that Raphael has put his finger on a key problem with the detecting genre. Death is serious business, and cracking jokes like Noel Coward around the body doesn't ring true. And yet, some sense of humor is needed to keep one from turning Gothic. Homicide detectives and crime reporters tend to develop a callous form that can be shocking to those who The tradeoff here is that Raphael has a sure grasp of his leading characters, and "Constant Lover" is a deeper and more thoughtful mystery that approaches the depth of P.D. James or Martha Grimes.

Lev Raphael does academia better than anyone. This book takes a clever and delightful series up a notch. The story grabs the reader's attention immediately, then twists and turns as clues and characters are introduced in a very engaging manner. Throughout the solution of the crime, we are entertained by Raphael's sharp wit and humor (look for Minnie, and the Michigan "trend" of older women in relationships...), his skillful use of literary references, and the wonderful growth in the relationship between Nick and Stefan. Mystery fans will love all the allusions to writers and trends within the genre. This is an absolutely delicious read!

Stefan, the child of Holocaust survivors, is denied knowledge of his own identity and family history. His parents and Uncle Sasha, who have suffered endless horrors during the Holocaust, conspire to protect Stefan from the secret of his heritage. They deny their religion, their ancestors, and their heritage, leaving an empty void in its place. Stefan's relationship with his parents is a metaphor for that emptiness. There is no warmth, love, or strong family ties in his relationship to them. When he tries to learn about his aunt, grandparents, and family history his inquiries are rebuffed. Stefan, in turn, rebuffs his parents' attempts to stay close to him. After their separation he rejects them, prefering to live with his uncle.
He denies his parents their right to happiness when they try to move on in their lives, although they are obviously both doing much better apart.
This haunting story indicates that the pain and sorrow of the Holocaust survives, and impacts the life and destiny of so many generations after the event.

Anyone who has ever tried to come to terms with himself, to understand himself will identify with this compelling novel and its plot. Keeping secrets--even for supposedly "good" reasons--can be so destructive. This is just part of what Raphael's novel is trying to say. More and more, it seems as though there is a need for so many of us to find some link to our past; often, we find the path to that discovery blocked. Stefan faces just this sort of stumbling block in the novel. As he reaches to unmask the secrets, he is also in a process of self discovery. His growing awareness of himself as a gay young man may now mean that he has secrets of his own to keep. Triumphantly, however, the novel is not ultimately about guilt or shame. It is about discovery; it is about taking the results of discovery and making them your own. Stefan does, in fact, become a better man because of the search he has undertaken. This novel stays with you; its impact and intensity increase in the weeks and even months after it has been completed. I know I will read it again--I can pay no higher compliment to a book or its author.

This week I (finally) read Lev Raphael's LITTLE MISS EVIL (2000), the 4th in
his Nick Hoffman series. If anyone on the [Dorothy-L] list hasn't yet read it: do so,
it's lots of fun, especially if you like send-ups of academe. Like Nick, I'm
an English professor at a state college, so I got a real kick out of the
absurdist drama of academic politics in the midst of which Nick struggles to
figure out who is harassing him and his lover Stefan, who killed an unpopular
colleague, and what the heck is going on with his own unexpected feelings
toward the sexy, brassy, over-the-top Juno.

There are no dead bodies until well into Lev Raphael's latest academia mystery, but you won't miss them at all as you are taken along for a ride through backstabbing murderous university scenery. This is Raphael's best yet, in his Nick Hoffman series. Nick's partner is suffering from midlist writer's angst; the English Department at the university has been invaded by a best-selling harridan; and Nick is (horrors) finding that he's attracted to, of all things, a woman. Spicing it up is the usual cast of outrageous professorial and administrative characters that Raphael does so well. Hang on to your funnybone and enjoy LITTLE MISS EVIL.

There is trouble in the State University of Michigan EAR (English, American Studies, and Rhetoric) department and Nick Hoffman, a non-tenured professor who always seems to find himself surrounded by murder, is in the middle of it. Someone is stalking him, everyone is upset about a new endowed chair, and murder is once again in the air.

Using a professor who teaches a class in mystery allows Lev Raphael (the author) to have Nick name-drop all of the latest mystery authors, along with Virginia Wolfe, Edith Warton, Dark Passages, and Titanic with equal humor. I found myself laughing out loud when Nick (after spending too long on Janet Evanovich) wondered if he should simplify his diet (his partner, Stephan set him straight--Stephanie Plum is no role model).

The academic setting is brutally realistic. Unlike business, the University really is a zero sum game and professors play to win--not that there is much joy even in the winning. Still, Nick keeps his sense of humor and deepens his relationships with Stephan, his cousin Sharon, and the strangely attractive Professor Juno Dromgoole (is there a certain Dickensian quality to Raphael's naming?).

I would like to add one more expression to the myriad of multilingual musings that salt and pepper this book in the guise of intellectual inspiration - and that is caveat emptor! Unfortunately, the reader won't be able to say they weren't warned - actually, twice warned. First, on the book cover where the former "A Nick Hoffman Mystery" subtitle has been replaced by a new "A Nick Hoffman Novel" subtitle. Then, on page 24 when Nick's lover Stefan, a novelist himself, tells us how he would write a mystery. "Why not create tension differently and have the murder come late - or maybe not at all - play expectation, threat or menace. The threat of a crime." That's exactly what Raphael does with this book. And after building up the expectation of something going to "happen" he just leaves us with the expectation of something bigger and more menacing yet to come in the next book of the series.

Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed the author's writing skills in the first four books in this series. He has used wit and satire to spear the pompous world of academe. Unfortunately, in this book, SUM (State University of Michigan) and its inhabitants have become a total lampoon of some Animal House. Things are pushed to the point of straining a person's credulity - Whiteness Studies and neo-Nazi administrative staff.

Add to that the fact that all the female characters from the new provost Merry Glinka to Juno Dromgoole are just caricatures drawn in a very unflattering and unfavorable manner. Only the elderly and infirm are spared the author's misogyny. Which only makes it stranger when Nick, who has spent a lifetime (and 15 years with Stefan) with a totally male sexual orientation, suddenly becomes obsessed with what it would be like to have sex with Juno Dromgoole. I thought this was just an early mid-life crisis, until he developed and equally strange obsession to buy a gun. Good grief, he's turning into another one of the SUMatics!

Talk about topsy-turvy! The characters are just wandering around searching not for the plot, but for some reason why they are there in the first place. I realize that as a "novel" this book is entitled to have an ambiguous ending. But, since the author is a student of the mystery genre he should realize that it's not nice to leave your readers hanging at the close of a 290-page book. Nick Hoffman worked better in the mystery genre. My rating - a full ***** for the author's way with words, but only ** for the book as a whole. Sorry, Nick, even grading on a curve couldn't get you a higher score.

As a final comment, what's with the book jacket illustration featuring the face from a Third Reich sculpture? Taken with the Whiteness Studies and the new storm-trooper staff, does this point to a fascist plot to take over SUM?

In Burning Down the House, Lev Raphael takes his hero Nick Hoffman into strange new terrain. Witty and incisive stories, murder with acadmeic satire on the side have ben the delightful norm for the series. This installment takes a darker, more challenging turn. (Though the characteristic wit, the ironic turns and the celebration of the pleasures of life--food and wine and the fundamental joys of great sex between two people who love and know each other well--are still there.)

It opens with a quote from Rebecca West on the tension between the yearning for "the longer day of happiness" and that which wants to "die in a ccatstrophe that will set back life to its beginning" and "leave nothing of our house save its blackened foundation."

Nick Hoffman's life in Burning Down the House mirrors this tension. There's the normal tensions of his life--torn between the idiocy of academia at SUM (State Univerisity of Michigan and his love of teaching which requires that he not only put up with the craziness of EAR (his department) but struggle for tenure. Then there's the joy of his settled and pleasurable life with his partner Stefan and an attraction to the danger and violence--even the fear--that is becoming increasingly part of life at SUM.

Whiteness studies? Administrative spies?

A Diversity Tree?

Nick is worried about his close cousin Sharon who is recovering from surgery for acoustic neuromoma, more and more he is becoming aware the world is not a kindly place, not a place to be trusted.

He doesn't even trust himself. He's confused to discover--after years of a committed relationship with Stefan--his attraction to another professor. A female one, the ever dramatic, flamboyant Juno Dromgool--who is running for department chair and thinks she's being stalked. She's bought a gun.

He thinks about buying a gun. And having sex with Juno.

Nick seems to be torn between maintaining his "house" or following passion, loyalty--a maelstrom of feelings--and maybe burning down his house.

This is paralleled though and far more painfully by watching the world of SUM--however petty and ego driven it has been--degenerate into something not identified yet, the undercurrent of something symbolized by a drive for "whitness studies" and a "diversity" that is blindly "Christian."

The ending is not an ending, but a beginning as Nick has to make a choice to engage this darkness (and risk losing his present life) or turn away....

BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE is Lev Raphael's best book yet in the Nick Hoffman series. Unlike the previous Nick book which were called mysteries, the cover says "a Nick Hoffman novel." I think this is indicative of the direction the series is going and that certainly is not meant as a criticism. There is no murder, but there is attempted murder. The tone is darker than the others in the series as Nick continues in his sexual fascination with Juno Dromgoole which both intrigues and frightens him. But things on the SUM campus, especially in his department are becoming more and more bizarre with the launch of a campaign for "whiteness studies" and the diversity tree. To complicate matters, Juno has decided she is going to run for the chairmanship of EAR and wants Nick's help. A not very popular decision as at least two attempts are made on Juno's life and Nick is attacked on campus. As with life, there is no neat ending, but rather more self-awareness on Nick's part of how he is capable of reacting. It certainly leaves me eagerly....even anxiously awaiting the next book. The humor is here, but it seems more biting and certainly less tolerant of the fools that Nick encounters in the academic life. It is more like the campus (and the world) would be a better place without some of these bloomin' idiots. I would highly recommend BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE, but suggest that you read Lev's other books in order of publication. Another point about Lev's books. I've been becoming a little concerned that so many books, movies, tv shows, etc. are using only allusions to popular culture, doing away with those to classical literature, mythology, art, et al. Lev manages to bring both into his writing and that is a real bonus.

Nick Hoffman & his companion, Stefan Borowski, are academics at the State University of Michigan in Michiganopolis (read Michigan State University, East Lansing). They have some cool and far too many specious colleagues, and everybody gets caught up in the dreadful politics of academia. This series is funny & educational & interesting & thoroughly addictive. It may seem odd to compare a mystery writer to novelist Laurie Colwin, but fans of hers should check out Lev Raphael. His writing is in many ways reminiscent of hers & that's about the highest compliment I can pay any writer! THE EDITH WHARTON MURDERS, like Raphael's other two mysteries, is written intelligently, humorously, with a very good ear &, in this one, an all-too-accurate view of that bizarre phenomenon, the Academic Conference.

What an utterly charming book! In THE EDITH WHARTON MURDERS, the second Nick Hoffman mystery, author Lev Raphael hits his stride--and it is something to behold. Witty, elegant and fun, this gay cosy (sub sub-genre?) details the murder and mayhem at an Edith Wharton conference hosted by SUM Lit professor, Nick Hoffman.

Elements that irked me in the self-conscious LET'S GET CRIMINAL, the first of this original series, are noticeably missing here. For example, main characters Nick and (particularly) Stefan are fleshed out and much more likeable (scatty, enthusiastic, emotional Nick is fast developing into a classic). Their relationship is explored, and I was relieved to see some fallout over the Perry Cross affair (no healthy person takes betrayal as meekly as Nick appeared to in LET'S GET CRIMINAL).

Raphael is refreshingly ruthless in targeting his murder victims from both old and new characters. He sets a lively pace and keeps his amusing cast dancing, while tantalyzing the reader with mouthwatering descriptions of good music, good food, good wine and clever conversation. And I think he makes a smart decision in keeping his mysteries non-gay specific. Nick and the reluctant Stefan are normal, attractive guys (who happen to be gay) caught up in the extraordinary occurrence of murder. It could happen to anyone--though probably not so entertainingly.

I can't wait to see what mischief Nick next gets himself--and the handsome and frequently disapproving Stefan--into.

This book is so accomplished and outstanding, it's hard to know where to begin. Let's start by saying the New York Times Book Review was right in reviewing this book twice! Raphael is a fine literary writer (see his dark novel Winter Eyes, for example), but he's here mastered the art of academic satire and more than holds his own with David Lodge, Robert Barnard, Jane Smiley and Amanda Cross. It's a clever and compelling mystery, too, filled with extravagantly intriguing characters. There's a powerful depiction of a stable and loving relationship, and the book also offers wonderful social satire of the Edith Wharton boom of the 1990s. The prose is finely tuned, as you'd expect from this prize-winning author. Best of all, there is the witty,caring but put-upon voice of the narrator, Nick Hoffman, the embattled composition professor. In fact, there's so much here that less attentive readers may miss its wealth--so pour a glass of your favorite wine and read slowly! The Edith Wharton Murders is proof of what acclaimed mystery novelist Barbara D'Amato has said many times: we live in a great age of mystery writers.