As a small town family doctor I sometimes get the feeling that 'adolescence' and 'tragedy' are linked words. Annette Smith offers a hopeful and enjoyable antidote to the angst that, perhaps not unjustly, grips many parents wishing the best for their daughters in an age so often unfriendly and even exploitive of their particular vunerabilities. Approaching her subject with the hands of an experienced nurse, the voice of an experienced mother, the heart of a pastor, and the eye of a writer she offers what I would like to prescribe to my patients parenting teen girls - practical advice on how to enjoy the relationship of focused, yet not overbearing, intentional parenting. Not another 'parent guilt' book but rather a timely and reassuring answer to the "what now?" raised by teen culture analyses like 'Reviving Ophelia'.

The bonding between mother and daughter is very hard to break ' no matter what kind of childhood you've had. Hard feelings can be hidden for years before they can be forgotten and you'll be able to forgive.

For the author Gail Michael, the forgiveness came when her mother was dying. What had happened in the past was something they didn't even discuss, when Gail again found the courage to make contact with her mother. It was obvious that through their hidden love and bonding, forgiveness was the invisible factor blowing in the wind.

Gail Michael is telling her true story about her difficult relationship with her mother, her capability to forgive, about grief and an everlasting love between a parent and child that should always be there.

It's also a story about trying to understand one another and learning about what the other went through and struggled with. Gail and her mother finally open their hearts to each other till the very end when Gail releases her mother's ashes to the wind.

This is a self-help book for everyone dealing with grief when a family member ' especially a parent ' is dying. Are you able to forgive? Are you going to say good-bye the right way?

Birthmothers get over their grief in a year? Get real!! It's too bad these two authors (who just happen to be social workers) didn't get it right! That part of the book is very misleading for those contemplating adoption; it takes us back to the Dark Ages (i.e. most of the last century) when birthmothers were told they would get over it. (Most didn't!) For another slant on adoption, I suggest the book written by Merry Bloch Jones. Also the book by Gediman and Brown. A biography on this subject is Search for Paul David.

The book starts out okay and I had some hopes for it. However it breaks down completely whenever the author deals with the issue of Birth Parent grief. Birth Parent grief and pain doesn't decrease or disappear after a year...it's a lifelong process that never ends. Some women do become overwhelmed with grief the first year and turn to emotional numbness as a temporary way to find relief from the pain....but this emotional defense only lasts so long...eventually the pain & grief resurfaces in their life in the forms of: depression, anger, low self-esteem, etc. It's a shame that the authors didn't talk to any experienced Birth Parents about the true course and direction of grief. They took the easy way out and claimed that the pain goes away in a year...comforting for adoptive parents to hear...but none of my Birth Parent friends would agree with this claim!! Read books written by real Birth Mothers if you want to understand how wrong this book is about adoption loss & grief.

As a birthmother I found this book very helpful and even comforting. There are no words to say how wonderfully the authors captured the difficulty of the decision to place a child for adoption nor the greatness of the openness that they talk about in the book.