'[W]hen you have eliminated the unsaleable plotlines, then whatever remains, however tasteless, must be the truth!'
(Guts, page 51)

Well, if this is the truth, I'd hate to hear about the unsaleable plotlines...

Guts is a spoof horror novel, and tasteless it most certainly is. The plot (if that's the right word!) runs a little something like this: a scientist hypothesizes that the human stomach is intelligent, finds a way to communicate with it, then the stomachs rebel (literally) and start killing people in various unpleasantly gory ways.

Still here? If so, Guts may well be your sort of book! The trouble with reviewing something like this is that, awful as much of the book is, it's all deliberate. So we can note the cardboard characters, the flour-and-water plot, the excessive amounts of bodily fluids, the howlers ('After the research paper on termites which had brought him his master's degree in etymology...'); but we can't criticise them because they're supposed to be bad.

So we're just left with the jokes then. And, luckily, the jokes are very good. No horror cliché is left untouched and the whole thing is just gloriously silly. The one downside is that, since the object of most of the satire here is a certain kind of book, there's a lot of reference to the fact that this is a novel, which can grate after a while. But there are enough other jokes to make up for it.

In short, if you can stomach gross-outs, there's a good read to be found in the bowels of this book. It will be at-tract-ive to some... okay, that's enough.

Another plus point is that the book is quite short. I wouldn't have the guts for any more!

Guts is a romp from start to finish, written by two of the funniest writers in the business. Every cliche of the horror genre is mercilessly parodied to excruciating effect -- excruciating in two senses, because not only will you find yourself laughing until you hurt, you find that these two authors can be at least twice as excruciatingly revolting as the most extreme (and famous) of the splatter novelists.

In keeping with the genre's prime exemplars, plot is sacrificed at every turn to the joyously detailed gross-out, but the story goes something like this. Crackpot scientists get the idea that our intestines are not a part of us but in fact a symbiotic organism. In attempting to contact these independent organisms they inadvertently spark them into rebellion. Dragging themselves free of their host bodies, the hate-filled intestines go on the rampage, wreaking terrible vengeance on the human race.

Somehow relevant to all this are such items as a vast sentient cheese that must be placated by daily, doggerel-filled rites; a neo-Nazi desperate to find someone to persecute because, in dismay at falling membership, his movement has had to recruit members of every conceivably minority in attempt to bolster the numbers; a sexual encounter with the Sphinx; as many deliberately asinine pseudoscientific theories as can reasonably be fitted in among the gross-outs; an R2D2-style robot that is not only cuter than its movie counterpart but also a Biblical fundamentalist and a lesbian; a tabloid journalist trying despairingly to change the habits of a lifetime and tell the truth; and much more besides.

The jokes come fast and furious as the book races along. The inventiveness never flags. What more could you ask for?

I laughed until I was ready to burst -- which latter is exactly what, in the final cataclysmic scenes of this laugh riot, the giant cheese does. But that's another story.

Many years ago, Dave Langford and John Grant wrote something that they felt was the ultimate spoof horror novel. It was called Guts and it was so horrible that it was rejected with cries of extreme nausea by every publisher to whom it was presented. Langford dined out on the story for years, and professed (pseudo-) sorrow that nobody would ever read the rotten thing.

Well now you can. Cosmos Books have taken the plunge and published it - thus proving yet again that there is no subject matter so vile that the book can't find a publisher somewhere.

The "plot" (for want of a better word) revolves around the exploits of the sentient intestines of the major characters. The intestines rather resent their interior functions. They want to break out into the world, to live and love in the open air. (It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "communicating with your inner being"). The bulk of the novel is made up of a series of set piece encounters between the rampant intestines and the populace at large.

Every intestinal joke you can think of and huge number that you can't think of and many that you wouldn't like to think of desecrate the text along with a lot of sly nudge, nudge, wink, wink digs at pseudo-scientific nut-cults, the reading room of the British Library and the sexual attractiveness of the Sphinx. I think there might be a kitchen sink in there as well.

That's not bad for a mere 173 pages! Langford's right - it's a rotten book. I loved it.

Curses! Long after we'd abandoned hope of a reprint, and barely 12 weeks after I'd splashed out on a used - signed, no less - first edition, this imprint inexplicably appears!

Don't get me wrong: it's a pretty funny book. Set around the aptly-named "Robinson Heath" bomb lab (a blatant send-up of AWRE Aldermaston, where the author once worked), it recounts the exploits of scientist Roy Tappen who accidentally takes the fissile part of his work home one night and struggles to smuggle it back inside the fence. In the process, Langford shines the harsh light of satire on the secretive and cowering creatures of the Scientific Civil Service.

The plot is far-fetched (luckily), and the story mashes in a fair few in-jokes, such as place names, which mean that you can probably knock half a star off the rating if you haven't worked at Aldermaston and another half if you don't know the area. Shame to see the laser getting only one throwaway gag though, since it's such a multi-billion dollar save-the-earth project in the US and France now.

Langford's style a bit glib and teenaged (maybe he was still gloating at his escape?) but it rattles along quite nicely. But the best part has got to be the wonderfully succinct caricatures of inmates in UK Government labs: a must for anyone who's had to deal with them.

What's puzzling is the timing: Aldermaston was privatised in the early 1990s, so this tale isn't really a hard-hitting topical parody any more. In fact, the place is overdue for a sequel: trendy new management styles etc bred new stereotypes, and the funnier old ones, like the industrial-rate smokers, have gone. Also a pity that Langford didn't include some of the more timeless anecdotes from the "old days", such as the day the guards found that a hundred yards of the fence had been stolen, the guard who (while practising quick draws to while the night away) shot himself in the foot, the dreadful hostel "Boundary Hall" with its wing of 1950s originals still in residence (known in the 1980s as "Death Row") and which was double-glazed throughout - the month before it was demolished.

But overall, a good book. Nice to see it back in print!

Roy Tappen works for a (thankfully, fictional) nuclear weapons facility in the UK. He fights bureaucracy while trying to use it for his purpose, which is to undo the potentially disasterous results of a practical joke gone wrong.

What's scary is it looks so real, so familiar, to those of us who have dealt with government facilities.

It has a surprise resolution that is rather poetical.

"The Science in science fiction" effectively presents how SF is based in solid fact. It explains, often in detail, how SF ideas and technology are based on real-life scientific advances and cutting-edge research. Excellent colour illustrations and detailed examples from SF novels round out the no-nonsense links the author traces between fact and fiction, leaving readers with the impression that what many pass off as "fantasies" may one day be accepted facts. Writers, in particular, beginning writers of SF would find this book particularly useful in avoiding the impossibilities one all-too-often finds in new or lower-quality SF. Readers, too, will appreciate the simplicity of the layout and the directness of the subject treatment, and the non-technical layout makes it easier for the layman to understand. All in all, a very good book, although I was let down by the lack of speculation on possible future advances.

The book is great, with great pictures and lots of detail, using both fiction and science to explore what can and can not be. In the end the book shows that there is only THREE things that are not possible and will never happen. The rest is limited only by our imagination.

To begin, John Clute and company's The Encyclopedia of Fantasy is an essential book for anyone who is serious about fantasy. Having said that, much of this review is going to focus on negatives rather than positives.

As can be expected with any book this size, mistakes have crept in. Within the first few days, I found several errors, mostly minor. A book attributed to Lynn Abbey which was written by Robert Asprin, a mistaken title for a book by Charles de Lint, that sort of thing. These mistakes, however are minor.

Perhaps a bigger problem with the Encyclopedia is the strange inclusion and omission of authors. Neither Sterling Lanier or Steven Frankos are included in the book, however Steve Szylagi, who has written a single fantasy novel has received an entry. According to Clute, the book does not claim to be as complete as its predecessor, The Encyclopedia of Science Fiction and the editors were forced to make some cuts. It would have been nice if he could have given some hint as to the selection criteria in the front matter. One friend suggested that if an author was included in the first book they would be left out of the second book, but too many authors appear in both books for this rule of thumb to be applied (Charles de Lint, Mervyn Peake, Larry Niven, etc.)

A larger percentage of The Encyclopedia of Fantasy is given over to thematic entries than The Encyclopedia of Science Fiction. Fantasy, however, has more common themes and prototypes than science fiction does, therefore making these types of entries a larger portion of any survey of the field. Still, the reader has to wonder about entries such as "Pornographic Fantasy Movies" which is so vague ("few researchers are willing to sit through the stuff...") as to be titillating rather than informative.

The Encyclopedia of Fantasy also repeats one of the faults of The Encyclopedia of Science Fiction. The author entries could contain more biographical data to supplement the bibliographical data already included. I'm not looking for gossip, merely some idea of what helped formulate the authors' writing.

Despite these flaws, The Encyclopedia of Fantasy is a major and important reference work. Essential to any library. Clute is still in negotiations to issue the Encyclopedia on CD-Rom. He says that if a deal goes through, he'll be able to replace author entries which were cut from the print version. The electronic format would be a welcome addition to the printed book.

This wonderful book will give great enjoyment to anyone who loves fantasy. It is amazingly comprehensive, well-written, carefully edited and proofread, and as fair and objective as it's possible for such a book to be. In addition to the extensive coverage of authors (including those not known primarily for fantasy), it also includes a great deal of information on movies and TV. As an opera lover, I was delighted to find 24 pages on that topic. A few of the most curiosity-piquing entries are Cauldron of Story, Timeslips, Thinning, Recursive Fantasy, Rationalized Fantasy, Crosshatching, Into the Woods, Instauration Fantasy, Godgame, and Taproot Texts. Read this book to find out about all these and much, much more.

This is the most exhaustive Fantasy reference available.

All of the contributors are concise, probing and informative. Even if you don't know the author or work being cited, it is as revealing as its arguments are persuasive, which can lead you to the library to learn more.

For anyone who gets lost in the sea of jargon used throughout, the book is a glossary in itself, so don't fret! It includes the definitions of common Fantasy terms such as "Swords and Sorcery", "Fairy", and esoteric terms, like "thinning".

Basically, if it's not in here, it's not worth reading -- or at least according to the authors. They said that they've only discluded authors who they consider relatively unimportant.

A long entry indicates the importance of the author, so of course Tolkien's entry takes up a few pages. Get books by those authors if you want to read the groundbreaking genre-defining stuff.

John Grant's movies reviews are very inciteful and comprehensive. Without giving ratings, he often hints at what made one either good or bad, which can help you decide whether to see it or not.

If you want to get more interested in Fantasy, but can't pick the good books and movies from the bad, this should enlighten you. I find it a great means of escape.

Lawrence

I was amazed at how witty these essays are. How did Langford manage to be so creative? I laughed a lot. Langford makes fun of SF as only someone with a clear and through understanding of SF can. Despite his savage wit--boy, can he tear people apart-- he doesn't seem mean-spirited (not that there's anything wrong with a good muck-racking mean-spirited book). He makes fun of Stephen Donaldson, for example, but he doesn't make me personally feel stupid for liking Donaldson and in fact makes me want to go re-read Donaldson so I can re-enjoy the good parts and laugh at the silly parts that Langford pointed out-- silly aspects that in retrospect were there all the time but which I somehow completely failed to notice. I liked that Langford uses a mixture of big SF names (Asimov, McCaffrey, L. Ron Hubbard, etc) and lesser known names to illustrate his points about SF mechanisms and contrivances. He is clear enough that when he talks about authors I don't know then I still understand the points he's making and find him amusing, and I do like hearing about new authors, but I think I would have lost interest if he never spoke about books that I know. His comments have added interest when I can fit them in with my own knowledge of SF.

If you want to find out just how much you really don't know about Discworld, this is the book for you! I thought I remembered so much until I went thru the U.U. Challenge!

...that should have happened within only a few hundred years. Scientific development, political trends, changing social issues and even developing philosophies happen so slowly in this book, that you wonder why the cockroachs haven't taken over by the end of the book!
Lets skip the fact that the English used in the book should be totally different by the end of the 30th century.
But the book is FULL of interesting ideas and details about the future and, if not taken too seriously, should be enjoyable.

I originally picked this book up back when it was published in 1985. Stableford and Langford have put together a futuristic history book looking backwards from the year 3000 A.D.

The book it broken out in sections that cover 200-300 years of time. For example, the years 2000-2190 are called The years of Crisis, as civillization is taken to the brink of conventional, nuclear and biological war. The predictions are presented like news articles. They cover global events, economic stituations, entertainment, and medical advances.
Its interesting at some of the future concepts that the authors posed back in 1985 in retrospect of the present.
"The Third Millenium" theorizes that more 3rd world-like countries will have nuclear weapons. Countries like Brazil, Argentina and Iraq or all places will have nuclear weapons. Its interesting, since when the book was published, Iraq was friendly toward the United States. In no way could the authors predict the current world situation.

Same goes for medical situations in 2050 A.D. as a AIDs-like virus is prevalent and cured in the span of 10-20 years. AIDs was still relatively unknown when the book was published.

Later centuries cover the "Age Of Recovery", as civillization start to merge into one world governments, and strides are made in peace and prosperity. The UN is speculated as contributing a large role as the peacekeepers of the world and humanity.

The final three centuries deal with "Age Of Transformation", as science prevails in curing most diseases, discovering immortality, to creating new life-forms.
The approach takes on that no other intelligent "alien" life has been dicovered, implying that perhaps we are alone in the universe.
I did, however, have a problem with the Christianity bashing the authors sprinkle in their book.
The year 2000 has come and gone. Christ hasn't returned, so people have lost their faith in Christianity. They discover that religion is just pablum for the masses, which in this day and age after Sept 11th, is the direct opposite. Stableford and Langford selve Christianity with Maxisim, saying they are both doomed belief systems. In their universe, in the 1000 year span they cover, Christ has never returned. So therefore if Chist never returns, then Christianity is false. I couldn't disagree more with that assumption. If they disagree with the bible that is one thing, but at least know about your subject matter before making an attempt to invalidate it. Jesus never gave a date when he would return. "I will come like a thief in the night" he said. Do you know when a thief will strike your house? No, I think not.

Unlike many books in this genre, "The Third Millennium" succeeds in conveying the illusion of a real historical account. In fact, this is the only book I've ever seen which truly deserves the name "a fictional future HISTORY".

The steady progress from the turmoiled 21st century to the utopia-like 30th, is portrayed with incredibe realism and vividness. If I'd want to give this book a rating solely as a work of fiction, I would have given it 6 stars...

But "The Third Millennium" is not a mere work of fiction. As the authors point out on the back cover, it is a serious attempt to portray a realistic future of the real World. And in this respect, the book suffers from one fatal flaw: In terms of absolute dates, the progress of events is agonizingly slow.

A few events and their dates would make this complaint clear. In this book, fusion energy is harnessed only in 2054 AD, and becomes dominant near 2180 AD. Genetic engineering in humans begin after 2227 AD. Unmanned probes to nearby stars, powered by nuclear fusion, are launched only in the 26th century...

Very slow indeed.

A more understandable glitch is the failure to predict the fall of the USSR. In this book, the cold war continues well into the 22nd century.

Since no one in their right minds thought in 1985 that the USSR is going down in the near future, I do not hold this particular mistake against the authors. But the agonizingly slow progress of technology in their scenario is something I will not forgive that easily.

It is this sluggish pace of progress is what turns this book from "a perfect masterpiece" to "a great idea ruined by one bad call".

And what a masterpiece it would have been! After all, there aren't many works that get a rating of 4 stars after being ruined, are there?

After the marvellous "Garden of Unearthly Delights" and "Discworld Portfolio" I was eagerly awaiting this new Kirby artbook.

I was badly disappointed.

The images selection is good, but the way they are reproduced is frustrating : the images are too small. How can you admire Kirby's masterfully detailled paintings when they are only half a page or even one-fourth a page in size?

Only buy this one if you desperately need anything sporting the name "Josh Kirby". Otherwise, better put your hands on "In the garden of unearthly delights". I hope Paper Tiger will start publishing better books. Their latest ones where quite disappointing, and this one hit the bottom of the pit.

I think the Discworld would not be the same without Josh Kirby. If you want inspiration for writing a story, buy this book. Josh is absolutely incredible, and his eye for detail always makes me feel part of a secret. Study each picture, or else you miss the point.

The Space Eater reads like a dimestore scifi comic. The realism is non-existent (Novas that took place recently are somehow instantly visible in the Earth's night sky, humans can be regenerated with memories and personalities intact from DNA, etc.)

Still, if you are LOOKING for a comic-book style novel, you should probably gain some amusement from this one.

The idea of regeneration works well in this scenario. Forced to live, the two heroes of this novel are forced to carry out the wishes of the " mature " earth society. The earth, however, had not anticipated on them being many light years away....