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Used price: $1.35
Collectible price: $4.75
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Once respect for one's elders was a maxim in most cultures. Now all has changed in the consumer capitalist west; with a prevalent worship of a narrowly-defined sense of "youth" - physically slim, impulsive, impatient; and the traditional virtues of the elderly - experience, deliberation, rumination - are derided in that accurate barometer of the spirit of the times, advertising. In medical training, there is an unspoken but clear bias against the elderly; students are advised to ensure that the stereotypically scatty little old lady sticks to matters of strict clinical relevance.
The notion that we have anything to learn from the elderly has disappeared from most contemporary culture. The elderly are a nuisance, a problem to be medicated and managed and forgotten. Kidder's book - unsentimental and heartbreaking, a clear-eyed portrait full of dignity and beauty and humour - is a counterblast to the cult of youth and the pathologising of old age. Increasingly we, as young people, live lives surrounded by people of our own age only - the decline of large families mean that we are less likely to have infant siblings or indeed much older siblings, while the large extended family gathering is increasingly dwindling.
The blurb on the back of "Old Friends" begins:"What's wrong with Tracy Kidder? A robust man, even a youthful one, a father fit and healthy, with years of life ahead of him: why did he voluntarily enter an old people's home?" One might fear a self-fixated meditation on the authors own concerns; but Kidder is an absent presence in the book; he gives his elderly cast the stage. The focus is mainly on Lou, a serene, wise ninety year old Philadelphian; and his roommate Joe, a tempermental impatient seventy-two year old who chafes at existence in the home after an active life. Kidder presumably had an extraordinary degree of access; not merely physical but also emotional. We are taken into the rooms of the dying, the deepest fears of those who will shortly join their ranks, the sadness and guilt of relatives. We see the power structure of the nursing home, a relatively enlightened one where nevertheless elderly people with enormous professional and administrative experience are made - with the best intentions - to feel like children.
We learn from the elderly in this book; and the elderly learn from each other. The gruff taciturn Joe is gently coached by Lou into telling his wife he loves her. Joe and Lou coach the staff of Linda Manor in tact and sensitivity- for example the hearty "Did you have a bowel movement today?" is replaced by the less intrusive"Did you or didn't you?" The full emotional range is here; love, ambition, anger, jealousy, pride; life in its most distilled, pure form - life facing
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List price: $14.95 (that's 30% off!)
Used price: $3.50
Collectible price: $9.99
Buy one from zShops for: $5.93
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List price: $13.95 (that's 20% off!)
Used price: $0.50
Collectible price: $2.45
Buy one from zShops for: $2.30
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List price: $14.00 (that's 20% off!)
Used price: $1.49
Collectible price: $1.90
Buy one from zShops for: $4.99
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In this book, Tracy Kidder describes the process and personalities involved with building a new home, but it's more than that. Like his "Soul of a New Machine", it chronicles what it's really like to be caught in the middle of a major project. Even someone who hasn't built a home from scratch or developed a new computer system will gain an basic knowledge of the topic and an appreciation for what it takes to do something really big.
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Used price: $3.25
Buy one from zShops for: $3.95
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However well the author writes this book, it is very hard to get involved if there is no real story that holds the book together. I found it very hard to be able to follow everybody's comings and goings if there is no real central story and no central character. Of course the policeman, Tommy O'Connor if interesting, but there is absolutely no relation to Laura (the single mother) or to Alan, or even to his friend Rick because Tommy "does not want to be involved".
The writing is very good, and the descriptions of characters and places are also very good, but without a real plot to the book, it just feels as if you are reading a newspaper story.
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Yet all are fine, fine pieces of writing. The chapter on obsessive-compulsive disorder ("Hands") in HOME TOWN is as good an essay on behavior accommodation as I've ever read.
It's not easy to like all of Kidder's people, especially Tommy the native cop who shaves and shines his head and wears shades and practices a narrow-eyed stare to look more fearsome, and who loves the bulk that Kevlar jackets provide and the creaking leather from Sam Brown belts. His kind is probably necessary for the public order in unsafe places. But as Judge Ryan (my favorite person in the book) observes: as likable as Tommy is, he is dangerous.
If you visit Northampton, watch the inappropriate laughter while waiting in line with academicians and genXers for a table in a Main Street restaurant. It's a Woody Allen setting shot through with hip neuroses and about as representative of American urban life as Istanbul.
A far better book is HOMETOWN (1982) by Peter Davies, an Academy Award documentary filmmaker. Hamilton, Ohio, is the location because it is Northern enough to the industrial, Southern enough to have a gently rural aspect, Western enough to have once been on the frontier, and East enough to have a past. Davies developed a wonderful connection with his subject over six years. His book is briefer than Kidder's, but contains more insights. And it has a beginning, middle, and end.
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List price: $29.95 (that's 30% off!)
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Used price: $59.99
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Used price: $0.44
Collectible price: $5.99
Buy one from zShops for: $3.00
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