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And Howard Frank Mosher, as splendid a liar as Twain himself, might have delivered the most interesting book you'll read during the upcoming, three-year bicentennial of Lewis and Clark's 1804-06 expedition in search of the Northwest Passage.
But be forewarned: If you're among those humorless academics who believe history should not be trifled with by liars, you must certainly skip "The True Account: A Novel of the Lewis & Clark & Kinneson Expeditions," perhaps the funniest historical novel about the West since "Little Big Man."
Thanks to a recently discovered manuscript hidden for 200 years, we now know that Lewis and Clark were the first runners-up in the race to the Pacific Ocean. The adventurer who beat them (just barely)? Private True Teague Kinneson, a Vermont schoolmaster, veteran of the Ethan Allen's Green Mountain Boys, playwright, inventor, narco-agronomist and explorer.
Wearing a belled nightcap to cover the copper plate screwed into his skull (a prosthetic made necessary by a life-altering blow sustained while drinking rum with Ethan Allen), a suit of chain-mail, galoshes and an Elizabethan codpiece, Private Kinneson begins his journey with his artistic nephew, Ticonderoga, into terra incognita.
Why? He wishes to teach Indian tribes of the West how to cultivate hemp, which he describes as "That panacea for all the spiritual ills of mankind." Oh, and to beat Lewis and Clark.
Along their path to the Pacific, True and Ti encounter highwaymen, hostile and not-so-hostile Indians, horny women, cannibals, a circus of freaks, and some of the great real-life people of the day, such as Thomas Jefferson, Daniel Boone (and his frisky daughter Flame), and Sacagawea.
And in the midst of his frolic, our American Quixote invents rodeo, baseball and a marvelous hot-air balloon; discovers Yellowstone; and outwits the Devil Himself.
Private True Teague Kinneson is every mythic traveler who ever believed the shortest distance between two points was a dream, from Odysseus to Gulliver to his beloved Quixote. And like the Cervantes masterpiece, this boisterously funny novel is more picaresque than poignant, although like any good farce, it occasionally plucks the readers heart-strings as well as his funny-bone.
Great parodies resonate at the precise moment we are taking ourselves to seriously (do we really need three exhaustive years to celebrate Lewis and Clark?) Mosher's voice is pitch-perfect, satirical without being too sardonic. And Private True Teague Kinneson just might find his rightful place in American letters somewhere between Gus McCrae and Forrest Gump.
OK, it's worth noting that the national epic of Lewis and Clark's expedition surveyed the continent's resources, made contact with many Indian tribes living there, found a passage from the Atlantic to the Pacific, explained the flora and fauna of the region, created one of the first true Native American heroines, helped build a transcontinental nation, and ... blah blah blah. It was serious business for Captains Lewis and Clark. You can look it up, in all its breathless, geo-political, bio-diverse, Ambrose-flakking, socio-aggrandizing, -- and mind-numbing -- detail.
Who cares?
Private True Teague Kinneson reminds us that sometimes adventures, like books, are just for fun.

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Calling her an "inept liar" after he gets to know her, he seems to forget that from the ages of 15 to 19, she was a very skilled liar.
Was she a misguided girl and taken advantage of by almost every man she met? Yes, and one does wonder what would have happened if she had never met Frank DeLuca. But she also pursued him, even though she was underage, even after she found out he was married.
The book does raise doubts about Patricia's guilt on all counts, but she certainly was guilty of conspiracy to commit murder.
I found her explanation, 15 years later, of what happened that night a bit too convenient and certainly her refusal to say anything about it as unlikely, because "no one would believe" her.
Not the best true-crime book I've ever read.



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Paper stock is poor and some prints are a bit blurry.





There are many money savings tips in the book, but I didn't count them to see if there were "hundreds" as the book's cover claims. The book is very informative, covers many diverse topics and is worth the price of less than $12 on Amazon.com, but I felt that the subtitle and cover claims are over the top.
Overall its a 3.5

My only complaint is that the book is not organized in a way that makes it easy to read through front-to-back. Rather, it's sort of a quick reference on a large number of topics with little or no transition between topics. But if that's what you're looking for, it does its job well!
