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While driving with his family on a dark road one night in North Dakota, the author and his family were in a head-on collision with a drunk driver. Gerald Sittser stood by elplessly as he watched his mother, his wife and his four-year-old daughter die. At the same time his two-year-old son was seriously injured, and his other two daughers were coping with the shock of what had happened.
Sittster eloquently and openly shares his enormous loss as well as his journey and growth through the overwhelming devastation of his life.
An associate professor of religion at Whittier College in Spokane, Washington, Sittser brings his Biblical world view to what happened to him and his family. A Grace Disguised -- How to Grow the Soul Through Loss -- opens up many eternal mysteries about suffering. A must read for ANY and EVERYone.
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Her life changes since her father's death are felt through her upfront and frank discussions about how a young child can cope and what helps and what doesn't. An excellent book for children or parents of children who have had a parent or close friend die.
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Throughout the entire book, there are quotations from various writers that just seemed to express the turmoil of mind and emotions that grief causes.
I have given this book to many who have lost someone dear to them.
I know it will help so many work through Grief.
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The Art of Dying offers much information, including very practical information, for dealing with the end of life--information not present in many other books, most of which focus primarily on the spirituality of dying, and communicating with loved ones before you die. Although these are terribly important issues, practical advice about arranging finances, preparing advance directives to ensure for or against extraordinary resuscitation efforts, and learning what to expect in the last few moments of life are questions that have been addressed in few other books.
In particular, I appreciate Weenolsen's very pragmatic list of things not to say to children. For instance, she recommends you not say you're "just going to sleep," lest they develop a subsequent fear of sleeping.
If you're facing death soon, or if you believe that one ought to prepare to die at any time, this book will serve you well.
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Yes, people are transformed as they die, and no, Singh has not addressed the open-ended and indeterminate nature of that process. She has instead placed the process of dying into a construction of her own, and that ideology, rather than genuine insight, is what characterizes this book. Those interested in the subject of death might benefit more from Kubler-Ross's Death: The Final Stage of Growth and others, and Stephen Levine's poorly-written but thematically consistent (and brilliant) Who Dies, and other similar books. Any reader familiar with the books Singh considers primary will see how unfortunate it is that Singh did not concentrate on what she has learned from her hands-on work with the dying, rather than on what she clearly doesn't know about psychology and religion.
This is a well-written course in the evolution and retrogression of our individual lives, for (deny it though we might), you and I are going to die. The questions that worry us most are most probably "when" and "how." Singh cannot answer the former, but this book will help with parts of the latter.
Much of what Singh tells us is based on experiences of those who have worked with those who are terminally ill, in addition to her own observations. Whether we believe in Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, a Higher Power, Nature, Singh maintains that the point of dying is to return us to the place from which we came.
She reminds us that we come into the world thinking we are the center of the Universe. Perhaps we were right, for it may be that at birth we are as close to the Creator as we will get, until death takes us back. She describes how we spend our youth and young adult life developing, then defending our sense of self. We live, often most pleasantly, in constant denial of our own mortality, a truth that seems too bleak to accept.
In the latter part of life, we may hold tightly to our ego, but our body begins to betray us. If we are slowly dying of cancer, AIDS, or the illnesses of old age, we can grow into acceptance of the insulting truth that our ego is not the true "us." One dying woman described it as having an "ego-ectomy.
Singh presents us with additional stages of dying, expanding on Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' denial; anger; bargaining; depression; acceptance. Kubler-Ross' stages dealt with the affects on the ego, or mind; medical science gives us physical stages. Singh offers the theory that we go through necessary spiritual stages before dying, whether or not we have been looking for spiritual transformation. Dying offers us a crash course, the equivalent of a spiritual shotgun wedding.
When we are stripped of everything we thought made us unique, a universal specialness is revealed. Regardless of when it happens - years, months or seconds from our death - we will come to realize the unimportance of what was once important. And despite ourselves we will stumble upon our own unity with that Force we call many things - God, Universe, Light.
I feel more convinced than ever that death is not a negative, dark force I must flail against, but the other side of living, a door I must go through. That I'll figure it out at the end doesn't encourage me to stop seeking now - perhaps my exit/entrance will go better if I stop running from my fear of death, and truly live my life. This book is an excellent start in learning now how to make our own living fuller, so we will be closer to home when we die.
"The Grace in Dying" illuminates the the great transformation that takes place at the time of death--and how we also might find the way, through contemplative and spiritual practices, to this wonderful transformation amidst the living of our lives.