Every mother going through a custody battle should read this - puts a whole lot of issues into perspective - you're not an unfit mother - it's not your fault - reading this tells you all about what custody battles are about

... this is THE book AND THE ONLY ONE (and I have read them all) on the subject of who gets custody of your children and why. Dr. Chesler, unlike sooooo many other authors who claim expertise on THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE THERE IS, OUR KIDS' WELFARE, IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, knows, I mean reeeeally knows why women lose custody of the flesh of their own flesh. So. She tells it. And, O, what a mess she causes. And, ya' know, ordinary, general folks, why, they do NOOOOOT like messes. Especially where their MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE, their families and kids, is concerned. Dr. Chesler pulls out all the stops and lets it rip. And, ya' know, ordinary, general folks, why, they do NOOOOOT like being messed with -- especially when it is their families' uuuugly TRUTHS they want kept quiet and in hiding. Dr. Chesler doesn't. She doesn't keep quiet and she doesn't keep those secrets in hiding. Women in the civil (custody) courts around the entire US of A? Why, these "good 'nough" mothers might as well be in Jordan or Afghanistan or Congo for all the likelihood there is of their getting custody of their own natural flesh -- IF HE PRESSES FOR CUSTODY AND HAS THE LEAST BIT OF PILLAREDNESS ABOUT HIM. That is, if he, the father, is himself a doctor, a judge, a lawyer, a prominent, community businessman, teacher, cop, administrator, manager, MONEY, yada, yada, yada AND seeks custody or a modification of an original decree (custody or child support $), good ole' ma is dead. SHE WILL LOSE. PERIOD. Ask Dr. Laura? Hah! I say: KNOW Dr. Chesler. If you are a mother and in, or not even yet in and think you could not possibly ever be in, a custody struggle, you had better THINK AGAIN AND MEMORIZE this book cover to cover. NOW. The only good news from this book and Dr. Chesler's research: There are now entire chapters of support groups nationwide called exactly that, Mothers on Trial, who can help you. Try one out; moms meet SECRETLY because of fear of revenge and reprisal against them. After all, their flesh are still, most often, years and years away from legal adulthood; the mothers are soooo afraid -- and need to be -- of losing whatever contact they may still have with their kids -- IF those kids' fathers find out about their "association".

Every mother should read this eyeopening book about the patriarchal legal system. Mothers do not get custody if fathers (even poor fathers) want to ask for it. Good mothers lose custody, bad fathers get custody (and child support) and the court system is biased toward men and their money. Mothers are slammed if they work for not being a full time mom, and equally so if they ARE full time moms for being lazy. I read this book ten years ago and rarely a week goes by that I don't think about it or tell someone about it.

Having never even heard of Phyllis Chesler, I entrusted that she was a noteworthy writer upon finding out she (this) was published on the ever almighty Common Courage Press. And of course, the title reeled me in (as someone who has an avid appreciation for a)originality and b)mastery of the language arts).

Although really intelligent, I'm a fairly blunt girl, so I'm just going to say this: Phyllis is a badass. I am blown away---and bitter that knowledge of this woman has escaped my fumblesome world of feminism thus long. I'm going to be frightfully honest once again: I haven't even finished the entire book yet(!) Perhaps when you ALSO hear that I've NEVER been inspired to write an on-line review before--no matter how 'great' or poignant the book---you will begin to understand what it is about Phyllis Chesler that sets her apart from the others...

Her knowledge is impeccable, her arguments are flawless and her style? Riveting. Militant yet sensitive, radical yet familial. Her topic matter? Brilliant. Chesler boldly sidelines the rhetorical and instead challenges the candy-coated "stand by your sisters but not at the expense of your man" approach to feminism, as spearheaded by the ever-contradictory Naomi Wolf, full-on, in an essay that not only redirects the feminist mind AWAY from it's 'fad' stalemate (read: passivity, commerciality, safeness) and BACK to the core severity it demands, but also illustrates who the REAL pioneer(s) of feminism is(are).

In heartwrenching detail will she explain why there NEEDS to be better legal protection for prostitutes. With great acuity will she describe the perils of 'male uterus envy'. Her words will leave your mind seething, your pulse racing, and your spirit awakening. (I found myself taking multiple 'pacing' breaks and possessed with the urge to take up boxing!!)

At the end of her introduction/PLEA to the rest of us(!)---aptly entitled 'Heroism Is Our Only Alternative'---Chesler makes the statement: "I've been envisioning a sovereign feminist government for a long time and that vision guides me still." A visionary as well, I've shared the same inspirational goal, I confess (much to the dissuasion of others, 'concerned' about my idealism--?! Note to them: Don't 'worry' about me, although I'll continue to worry about YOU!)

As a radical political and spiritual activist AND a writer, too, I am newly determined and inspired. And thrilled to have such a brilliant, beautiful mentor. You're either part of the problem or part of the solution, and I for one can't (never could!) sit idly by, nursing Starbucks-friggin-Frappuccinos and poo-pooing radical activism, as if all is truly hunky-dory, while my sisters (and even my brothers) suffer.

Overall? Buy this book. Case closed.

I desperately HOPE Phyllis reads this review because as a writer, I KNOW how important it is for your message to not go unheard. So if you ARE reading this, Phyllis, THANKS for putting YOUR heroic mind to paper in an effort to educate and enlighten. For painstakingly resuscitating a 'dead' issue and giving an 'outdated' cause fresh urgency. Surely your efforts feel for naught at times in light of the present generation's all but abandonment of the cause, but your plight IS in fact much appreciated---much akin to the appreciation a brave yet solitary sailor feels for a lighthouse at sea, especially amidst the turbulent waters of today. Your voice illuminates the path for the revolutionaries of today. Rest assured that we DO exist, we just haven't united. (YET!)

Don't bother getting comfortable in your bed to read this book. Chesler inspires the reader in a powerful way. The ONLY way to read this book is standing up with a raised, triumphant fist in the air!

This is an astounding work! Ms. Chesler cracks wide open the hard shell of paternalism and exposes the underlying sadness of men. A must for writers, psychologists, artists. If we could better nurture our boys, we could change the world.

This book is a collection of stories pertaining to the very public struggle that Jewish women face in an attent to pray together at the Western Wall (Kotel). Women do have their own separate section to pray at the Western Wall, but there are certain activities from which they are prohibited by Israel law. Each story is more powerful and passionate than the next, describing how these women still today are prohibited from praying as a group, praying aloud,singing collectively, using a Toral scroll or wearing talliot at the wall. In fact, the Israeli Court has prohibited such activities by law. These stories set forth in heartfelt detail the contridictions that these women face within their own religion in an attenpt to be a part of the same spiritual groups who are confronting and challenging their very efforts. Women of the Wall (WOW) have been involved in this struggle since l988, and the stories in this book show, with clarity and beauty how these women still today respond to these prohibitions. This is a book that must be read.

correction : authors are Phyllis chesler and Emily Jane Goodma

Woman's Inhumanity to Woman is an important new addition to the feminist canon, analyzing underlying dynamics between women and exposing realities of what has and hasn't worked within feminism. The uncomfortable truths of the human condition with which Phyllis Chesler engages have too often been silenced and suppressed--subsumed beneath feminist rhetoric--leading to unnecessary antagonism and divisiveness that sabotages true solidarity and sisterhood. Through Chesler's dynamic diagnosis and powerful prescriptions, this book empowers readers to move forward in forging a movement that can authentically embody feminist ideals.

Chesler wonderfully weaves in compelling examples from psychology and primatology, folklore and fairytales, literature and life in order to illuminate the points and principles she is making. She doesn't pull punches in revealing hard truths, but she doesn't end her analysis at critique--she furnishes concrete examples of how sisterhood functions at its finest, and provides proactive approaches to more ethical behavior, which will enhance women's ability to flourish independently and in relationship with one another.

The clarity of Chesler's thinking and the resonance of her writing make Woman's Inhumanity to Woman a riveting read--and one that just might change the way you understand and engage with the world we live in.

I am glad to be able to recommend a wonderful new book by the noted feminist psychologist and author, Phyllis Chesler. Chesler's new book, Woman's Inhumanity to Woman, is a brilliant exploration of the many ways in which women may interact badly with other women, be they mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, co-workers, employees, etc. Chesler explores and explodes the myth of sisterhood. She describes how women really treat each other and why they do so. However, Chesler does not merely describe reality. She also offers guidelines as to how women may improve their interrelationships, almost a "halakhic" (Jewish ethical path) which, if women follow will result in a kinder and better world for all. I recommend her book with a full heart, and hope that many people will read it, men included, for it is geared to tikkun olam. (The healing repair of the world).

Rivka Haut, Co-author of Daughters of the King: Women and the Synagogue and Women of the Wall: Claiming Sacred Ground at Jerusalem's Holiest Site.

In this brilliant book, Chesler shatters the myths of her own feminist movement. In fact it is only by illuminating the truth that she remains loyal to her principles. By using extensive research, Chesler is able to analyze the relationships between women and moves from class to class, youth to old age, and culture to culture. She is able to explain how women internalize patriarchy and use it against themselves and other women. Chesler also looks at the age-old relationships between mothers and daughters, and from sister to sister and explains the psychology behind it all. She also looks at women in the workplace, and generally how women have unrealistic expectations for one another, judge each other more harshly, and more easily respect male authority. Chesler also adds some advise as to how women can stop this cycle, and begin to respect each other and work together or at least compete fairly, rather than continue to use gossip and indirect aggression to, sometimes,literally kill one another. This book was especially interesting to read as a feminist man. It allowed me to understand what I never could before: How women defeat their own kind, and are occassionally just as bad as the men I know.

Since the Reagan era cuts in funding for public psychiatric facilities and programs, many of us (particularly city dwellers) have noticed the increase of people who need psychiatric treatment, or at least medication, and have no where to go. People wandering the streets talking to invisible partners has become an almost everyday sight. Yet, in the past century, such people would be quickly thrown into an institution, or rather, asylum. In fact, as Women of the Asylum demonstrates, it would take much less cause than talking to oneself to wind up in an asylum. Many husbands, brothers, fathers, community members, and even friends, committed or helped to commit totally sane, albeit strong-willed, women to asylums simply because they expressed an unusual opinion, were too forthright, or even because a husband was tired of his wife and wanted to get rid of her (in a legal fashion, of course). The 26 women whose accounts of asylum life are recorded in this book, have used their strength of mind and spirit to bear witness to the heinous, witch-craft style crimes perpetrated both by the act of commission and within the asylum walls themselves for over a century (from 1840-1945). Though we like to think we have progressed, certainly our tolerance and concern for the mentally insane has not really gotten so sympathetic. Perhaps today instead of locking someone up, we simply let them wander the streets homeless, send them to a therapist, or put them on prozac. In fact, many of us self-diagnose and self-administer our own treatment. In our times, we still see women abused in on the street, in domestic situations, and because of workplace inequalities. And today, if a husband wants to get rid of his wife, rather than divorce her, he may simply hire someone to shoot her. Times have certainly changed, or have they

An unsettling, chronological account of women, the psychiatric community and the institutions that held them captive. Riveting first person descriptions that allow you to peer into the dark corners of our past. History, told by real people, living real lives, unfolds in front of your eyes. A fabulously rewarding read for those interested in history, women's studies or psychology. Disquieting, fascinating, and thought-provoking

An unsettling, chronological account of women, the psychiatric community and the institutions that held them captive. Riveting first person descriptions allow you to peer into the dark corners of our past. History, told by real people living real lives, unfolds in front of your eyes. A fabulously rewarding read for those interested in history, women's studies or psychology.

Why are so many women labeled (correctly or incorrectly) "mentally ill". Certainly, there seems to be a double standard as Ms. Chesler attests. However, what are the causes of this double standard? Ms. Chesler attributes it to an oppressive, patriarchal culture. Maybe. What is more likely is a combination of factors that include male aggressiveness and female passivity, both of which are personal choices not the responsibility of outside input. Yes, over the millenia, women have chosen to be passive and that "sets the deck" against new generations of women. But, for those females who are cultured passive and not genuinely mentally ill, the ultimate choice lies within themselves not on a psychiatrist's couch.

Overall, this book was well worth the read, and I would recommend it to anyone interested in mental health. Though rare I believe, there are real abuses that take place inside some therapists' offices, and those abuses, whether they involve women or men, should be exposed and the perpetrators punished. Ms. Chesler should be lauded for bringing up the disparity of the treatment of women versus men in the mental health field. Disregarding personal choices is however a fatal mistake in her argument.

Dr. Chesler casts her clear eyed vision over the field of psychiatry/psychology and unveils the sexism that underlies the history and the practice of the "art." Who knows how much untold damage has been caused by those who understand little about women as a sex and could care less, as long as they establish their careers? Incorporating the mythology of women as metaphor, Chesler also paints a picture of how we, as women, have paid the price for patriarchal privilege. I read this book 20 years ago, and I just read it again. It was an enjoyable this time as it was then, maybe even more so, with the deeper understanding I have now about the roots of feminism.

The only thing I wish she had addressed in this revised edition is deinstitutionalization and its affects on women. Perhaps another time? Soon?

This book is a lot more interesting than it sounds. It's basically a collection of biographical (or autobiographical) essays about various important figures in the women's movement--including Gloria Steinem, Andrea Dworkin, Harriet Lerner and many, many others. Yes, the book is long, and sometimes it's overly academic, but it deserves a place on every feminist's bookshelf.

In this offering, Chesler, the author of 1972's ground breaking "Women and Madness" attempts to connect with my generation and inspire us to become better activists from her mistakes.

It's a great concept... if overlooking the blatantly condescending tone throughout the book. Unlike Steinem, Pogrebin, Davis, hooks, etc.. Chesler conveniently forgets that we have lived through the changes wrought by her generation and thus do not want to return to the old days.

Although the book is written as a series of conversations , it actually comes off as a stern one-sided lecture where our interjections of knowlledge are not solicited nor welcomed. This self-contratulatory platitude continues despite evidence that generations of people intentionally raised on feminist principles are comming of age, and therefore are more aware of gender issues than she chooses to realize.

In fact, we are less likely to perceive those changes in women's status as threatening because of having grown up alongside them. Feminism is a natural language for my generation, and the activist among us are already intimately fammilar with the basics repitiously presented in this book.

Additionally, we have our own subculture of feminist industries (Riot Grrrl Music, independent zines, webpages, and prolific writers/public speakers) demonstrating that we know the battle has not completely been won, and previously secured rights must continuously be defended.

Instead of issuing an angry and self-righteous screed, the least she could have done was familiarize herself with our work, and our feminist culture. Even if the words and issues are not exactly identical to those of her generation, our contributions to feminist thought are no less valid and deserve to be treated seriously.

Because this aforementioned young feminist culture was exposed to the mainstream light in the 1990's partly from the influence of popular artists such as the late Kurt Cobain (Nirvana)-it is difficult to believe Chesler did not know young feminists were organizing or there were projects (such as Rock for Choice) that were continuing the work her generation had begun decades earlier.

With a more proactive and realistic perspective on youth organizing, she could have reached out to my generation, but the patronizing tone effectively undercut whatever sincerity she may have had for helping continue activism. Although she played an important role in the past, this book suggests she will be unable to make different future contributions.

In a typical chapter, the author tells young women that if they are thinking of getting married that might be nice and all, BUT IT'S NOT A FEMINIST POSITION. She then goes on to prove the old Marxist "marriage is slavery" maxim by stating that she had two marriages that both ended in disaster. After reading this book you will wonder why anyone chose to live with this woman on a long term basis in the first place.

The rest of this book is just a re-stating of the author's personal opinions being sold as FEMINISM and the only feminism that you should expouse.

This is standard old school feminism from an academic bleeting that the revolution has passed her by. Her only friend in the young feminist movement is Faludi and who cares what Faludi says?

If you want an intelligent, well-articulated feminist tome read either Betty Friedan for old school or Rene Denfeld for modern feminism. If you want a self-satisfied academic text forget about this book and try Gloria Steinem, since Steinem is at least flaky enough to provide a little entertainment.

I came across this book while browsing the section on feminist literature (for teenagers). I ordered it immediately and read it eagerly. I must even admit I walked into a couple of lampposts while reading it in the street... I loved it. I felt identified with much of what I read and I thought a lot about the advice, insight and "life lessons" the author provides. I believe she has managed to give a critical and honest perspective of the mistakes and achievements of the previous generations of feminists. I think that such a perspective is determinant to help the new generations find their path, their way and their place in the Women's Movement. We are so used to accepting society the way it is that we sometimes forget to question what is established or to adopt a critical view towards what is expected and required from us. Reading this book, I was able to understand what has been done and what is still left to do. It also helped me to learn what my generation could do and how and when it can act. So, I can say that "Letters to a Young Feminist" has been a major influence on me. I was 16 when I read it (I'm 18 now) and I believe it can be a very positive influence for other teenagers (girls and boys) and adults. Don't hesitate to buy it!