I first came across this book because I saw an email with the chapter on "Partners and Marriage" circulating on the Web. That chapter was one of the highlights of this book. It was falsely attributed, but a quick search of the Internet revealed its true author.

Its chapters share Nerburn's accumulated insights on life and matters that concern males across generations. The male instinct does not encourage the sharing of many private matters - many fathers are unwilling, or perhaps unable, to discuss these topics with their male heirs. Yet these questions rise up again and again to trouble generation after generation of men.

Nerburn has done us all a favour by addressing this book to all men, young and old. He speaks of matters you wished your father had shared with you. Somewhere inside, there are gems of wisdom that can change your outlook in life.

Like any fatherly advice, some parts do not go down easy. They may sound like words from another era, of someone who's not quite in touch with your generation. But on deeper reflection, they echo a timeless truth, and speak of eternal principles that guide our lives.

A book well-worth your money and time.

This book is extremely well written and very insightful. A great book for any man or any father of a boy. The book is full of wisdom and advice that will provide insight to the reader on how to convey values to their son. It crafts solid explainations to difficult questions that men have throughout life.

The book gives the reader the tools to become a better person and to appreciate other people and life in general. It could be called "the gentle-mans coaching guide". I couldn't put the book down until I finished it and I can't remember the last time that happened.

Hats off to the author for crafting this magnificient work which gets us to stop and think about what is important. That's quite a feat in this "point and click" society.

I first read this book in 1993. My own son was ten and I was grappling with the issues all fathers face when raising a son. I read alot,but this was the first fathering book, the first parenting book whose words leaped off the page and seized me. The author was honest, his words resonated with the integrity of life lived and hard lessons won. Upon finishing the book, I felt liberated and genuinely empowered about being a father. This is not the only book available on fathering a son, but it's the best I've ever come across and I can't recommend it highly enough. And Letters to My Son is not just a book for fathers, like many great books with an abundance of insight and inspiration, readers will find many simple truths on faith, travel, love, sex, aging, God and dying.

I loved this book. Rich is a great story teller and he actually had my stomach doing flip flops as he described jumping out of planes from 14,000 feet and climbing up 350 foot sheer cliffs. It could be my love for the outdoors that captured my attention, but I now count this as one of the best success books I've ever read and I'm already going back through it carefully and doing all of the exercises.

I believe this book will capture the heart of any success minded person.

I interviewed Rich Fettke on "The Inside Success Show" and he is an extremely knowledgeable and fun guy. The stories he tells will make your heart pound with desire to succeed without struggle.
Here's some of what you'll learn from the book:
** Why you must learn the new strategy of "success without a struggle
** What simple steps you can take to balance you life
** How you can avoid getting killed by the lies of the devil's fear and rely on your Protector Fear
** Why you must keep your eye on the future you want
** How you can start your journey to success without limits today
** And much, much more ..

Randy (Dr. Proactive) Gilbert
Author of "Success Bound" and editor of "Proactive Success" ezine

Have no fear: you will not say, "oh no, not another self help book." Not only is this a fun read, it is chock full of specific ideas to get you motivated. Actually it is okay, says Fettke, to have fear about anything you do. The key is to get focused, explore the fear, assess it more objectively, and then make a yes or no decision. So like any good coach, Rich finds a way to spur you to Action, the potentially small step that will create momentum for more change. What makes this book so readable is Rich's background as a recovering ADD dude who achieved extreme sports success. With ease with words, he manages to use great examples from his own life without sounding overly self-absorbed. It is these exciting stretches of his own growing edge that pulls you into and to the end of each chapter. He also selects excellent examples of his clients turning the corner on their own process in moving from working harder to working smarter. Though none of the ideas are particularly new, especially to coaches, psychologists, or sales professionals, the book is novel. It brings together the collected wisdom of many. If you never take a shot you never score. When it comes to this book, if you never complete it, you will never benefit. If you buy it, you will finish it. It is simple, sweet and informative.

I've been reading personal development books, going to seminars, and listening to audio tapes for years. This book seems to take the best advise from so many different sources, and then present it as simple and useful information. I loved the way the stories brought me right into the author's experience. The seven parts are straight forward and easy to implement into life. I read this book two months ago and I notice, as I look back, how much easier it is to live with less struggle. What great advise to give! I have recommended this book to many of my friends and clients and have heard nothing but positive feedback from everyone. I have seen Rich Fettke speak a few different times now, and this man has a lot to bring to life! His grounded enthusiasm and passion for living make him a great speaker and author. I believe Extreme Success will help anyone who chooses to read it, get more out of this life with much less struggle!

A frenetic, funny & memorable book of short stories about the life & times of Jeremy Theodore Grabowski, the summer the girl next door decides to liberate the women of the world & gets a crush on Jeremy; he gets noticed by the neighborhood bully & his parents think about re-locating to Arizona.

Kevin Carlson's maps of Jeremy's street, yard & room & all his illustrations add delightful images to the crazy stories.

This is one book you'll be reading under the covers in the brightness of your flashlight!

1978 in Stormville, New York finds Jeremy Grabowski wondering if he's going to survive another crazy summer. Absolute frustration with his brother and sister leaves Jeremy wishing that he'd been born an only child. His mother cautions him to be careful what he wishes for. Worse, now he finds out that his family might be moving to Arizona. Jeremy doesn't want to move, even if his dad promises they'll have their own swimming pool. Stormville's a fun place to live, even if a girl likes him, his brother and sister drive him crazy, and the worst bully ever lives just down the road.

Author Richard W. Carlson Jr draws from his own childhood experience of living in Stormville, New York to create JEREMY GRABOWSKI'S CRAZY SUMMER IN STORMVILLE! Written from the perspective of a ten-year-old, this fun tale will be immediately appreciated by that age-range, though the rest of us may have to remember being ten to "get it." But once you've got it, Carlson has a knack for sweeping you away in the madcap adventure with extreme enthusiasm, when living for the moment was the only way to live. Jeremy's friends and family are vividly realized, with political and historical background that will keep adults entertained as well as preteens. JEREMY GRABOWSKI'S CRAZY SUMMER IN STORMVILLE! is highly recommended.

I really enjoy this author's talent for capturing youth at its best. We desperately need more books and authors such as this one to keep our children in good, wholesome, yet enthrawling books. Can't wait to see what else Mr. Carlson has to offer!

I found a lot of contradictions in this book. For example, author argues that thoughts are not important, and thinking is only a function. Nevertheless, thoughts control who we are and how we feel. Same with the past. Don't think about the past, it's not important, though past forms our behavior and attitude to life, and it shapes the way we understand this world and ourselves. Well, thoughts and past can't be unimportant if they have a great control over us.
I tend to agree with the reader from Chicago - if you have serious psychological problems or if you are deep into thinking about who you are and where you belong in this world, you'll find this book way way too simple.
Still, I'm giving this book two stars and not one because first, I liked the discussion about separate realities (the only chapter I really liked), second, there are a lot of people who clearly benefited from this book and wrote excellent reviews. I believe that the effort is not wasted if the author helped so many people feel a bit happier.
And finally, I wish you peace and harmony you're seeking, whether you'll find it in this book or from any other source (such as within yourself).

Ever felt like depression and negativitity were swamping all the happiness out of your life? Then read this book before you turn to Prozac. When I first found this book, back in 1997, I instantly recognized myself in Dr. Carlson's descriptions of the way thoughts can play through one's head and cause you to act in reactionary, emotional ways when one is experiencing what he calls a "low mood." He teaches readers, though, through a step by step process, how to return once again, to a state of "healthy psychological functioning." This book is NOT another "positive thinking" book. No, it is one of the most profound little books you'll ever pick up. It teaches you how to recognize "low moods" and to avoid action during low moods. It shows how to return to "normal functioning." After reading the book version several times a year for the last couple of years, I recently bought a two-tape audio version of this book, which is read by the author, and allows me to review the book's key principles whenever I feel a low mood setting in for too long. Not just a book. A great mental health tool.

I can only add a few words to the mostly positive reviews already posted. The reader from Chicago unfortunately missed the point. Life does not have to be a self-improvement course. We _do_ have the tools we need to live a happy life, but so often deny ourselves, out of a notion that life is only meaningful if we "struggle for clarity", and earn our well-being. Over the years I've taken myself to task for mistakes,choices,relationships, in order to consider myself "worthy' of a happy

existence. The concepts in this book _are_ simple, but not stupid. Carlson's metaphor for living in the moment; the image of a motor boat, and it's wake, couldn't be easier to understand. We stand at the back of the boat, studying the wake, but it's the engine that moves us forward! As it is with our past, we can examine it, but like the wake, it's not going to get us anywhere.

In a place of midlife non-crisis, lugging baggage acquired with no regrets (baggage means, after all, that I have dared to live, to love, to risk my neck), I rather shamefacedly purchased this little book. I don't read this sort of... frivolous how-to nonsense, I don't! Why this, then? Small enough to hide inside my jacket pocket, short enough mini-chapters to take in with little disruption to my hurried life? Oh, that might be. But something caught my eye in browsing the pages. There's nothing preachy here. Nothing arrogantly wise. Indeed, in reading it, I experienced no epiphanies. I read the mini-chapters, frequently one to two pages long, between reading more serious stuff. But... I loved it. Really. Simple nuggets of basic good sense. Easily digested reminders of how to readjust my sometimes skewed priorities... and admit it, we all skew. A relatively painless bonk on the noggin from time to time to regain sharper focus on my perspective. Sometimes it is that really simple, common sense wisdom we lose... and this little book got it right again. Call it a tune-up to our human machinery. We could all use it on occasion for a smoother journey. My no regrets baggage felt pleasantly lighter as I added a little bounce to my step forward.

By:Bree-Anna Mustad

When reading this book, "Don't sweat the small stuff in Love" by Richard Carlson and Kristine Carlson, I read a number of different stories which had really triggared a lot of emotions on the present relationship I was dealing with. I felt as though the book was dirrectly speaking to me, and I was just convincing myself it was just another one of those cheesy love advice books, when really it was two people who have been through the hardships in relationships and discided to right their experiences and thoughts down. When I started to read the first chapter, "Mostly, be pals," I put the book down for a couple moments, almost thinking in my head how it related to my situation, and then picked it up again going on to "Learning to laugh at yourself." The good thing about this book is it not only specified a certain relationship with the opposite sex, it took any kind of relationship you could have with anyone and showed you how to handle cercumstances with that person to make that relationship easier. One of the quotes I liked out of that chapter was, "It's quite remarkable to observe what happens to a potentially heated interaction when someone is able to keep their sense of humor. In most cases, the situation is diffused and simply melts away." And that is the kind of advice that helps you in any circumstance. One of the chapters I personally learned the most from was chapter 49, "Take responsibility for your own happiness." This was why I titled this book review "Everything I needed to hear but noone told me." This chapter helped me realize that you cannot base your own happiness on other people. It should'nt be that you get into a relationship or make a new friend in order for them to fulfill something missing inside of you. Just like it's so easy to think someday you'll fall in love and then the rest of your life will be perfect. This chapter allows you to see that if your not fully happy and content with the individual you are, then envolving another human in your life will just take your focus away from your unhappiness and put that pressure on someone else to fulfill that. Personally, before I read this book, I kept asking myself and wondering what was wrong with my boyfriend and why was he not making me happy all the time. But now when I look at it I question to myself what was missing inside of me that was'nt making myself happy. For anyone that struggles with relationships and has a hard time admitting the truths about how you are in them...pick up this book. It will definatly enlighten you on an entire new way of opening your eyes to the little moments you can aviod to make those relationships easier.

Richard and Kris Carlson have hit the vein of gold with this book. Each chapter is a polished gem of insight and truth. Pointing out the contrast between hurting behavior and loving behavior in such a way that you can't deny it, they give very practical, hands-on tips on how to be a better partner for life. My wife and I read a chapter aloud each day. We want it to stretch out as long as possible. It has already improved our relationship. If you have relationship troubles, order this book immediately!

I saw Patti Breitman speak at a bookstore on her publicity tour and I was very impressed with her sincerity, good will and sense of humour. She seems to care about the world and about the people she serves. The part of her book that I was most moved by was when she talked about how to follow the part of you deep inside that wants to fulfill your true desires, rather than stay stuck in obligations. As a therapist I have had many opportunities to help my clients with suggesstions from How to Say No without Feeling Guilty--which seems to be a universal problem. I was glad to see that Patti Breitman also saw that people need to go beyond the NOS to YESES, and I was very impressed with her choice when she recommended the book As the Romans Do by Alan Epstein. He is an author that followed his dreams and moved to Rome with his family and wrote this truly delightful, inspirational book and it is something I think everyone should read, even if they have no intention of going to Rome. It certainly has made me think about my choices and how I want to live my life day to day.

I never thought I had a hard time saying "no" and actually thought I was good at setting boundaries until I picked up "How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty". I quickly discovered how much of my time and myself I had been handing out to people because I assumed that's what I had to do to go along with the program. In this wonderful book, Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch lay out a new program - a powerful, gentle and intellegent approach to simply saying no. A fun, insightful and compassionate read.

I found this book to be an insightful guide to getting more of what you really want in life in a way that reinforces your commitment to yourself. The authors suggestions are thoughtful and well presented. The section on identifing and manifesting what it is you really want, gives the reader a powerful set of tools that can be used in many aspects of life. With practice and patience, I believe that learning to say no at the appropriate times can be a self satisfying experience. There is a plethra of humor along with genuine sensitivity in dealing with this subject matter in many situations. I would recommend this to people from all different walks of life. If you are able to make use of even one of the suggestions in this book, you will have opened yourself up a little more to finding what truly makes you happy and making the time for it in your life. Take what you need and leave the rest. This book is full of great ideas and is one to refer to again and again!

The "Don't Sweat" series provides the reader with tools to organize and prioritize ones life. With the many different pressures placed upon us in our lives, Carlson hits home with this short read regarding the balance between our worklives and our homelife.

Broken into extremely small chapters only one to three pages long, it is easy to take some time out and read a few chapters -- appealing to even the busiest of schedules.

The only caveat is that this book does appeal to the more feminine side of ones psyche and that some folks might be bored by the continual emphasis on the same points over and over again.

Let me first express that I typically have great condescension for most "self-help"-type books. Most of them seem very intent on getting one to do yoga or meditation or breathing exercises....activities I'm just not naturally inclined to do. This book, in contrast, suggests improved perspectives and outlooks. So, it is "intellectual" in that way, rather than the typical "touchy-feely." It provides gentle, insightful wisdom into modifying the only things you can control: your own outlook, your own behavior. Quite frankly, I'm very impressed by this Richard Carlson. This book was exactly what I needed to help me through a very negative phase of my career as a government lawyer, with bizarre stressors coming from every direction, including judges, opposing attorneys, and peers. I can't say this book made me glad that I became a lawyer, but it helped quell the storm. This book is written so that virtually anyone can understand it, and yet it contains brilliant insights and what I would have to almost call "ultimate truths." Some of them are so obvious that it's disconcerting I couldn't identify them by myself; others are more transcendental, and Carlson very sagely unveils the phenomenon and associated principles.

I think anyone in a stressful work environment would benefit from reading this book. I read it very closely and highlighted about half the book. I know it will take some time for me to assimilate all of the suggestions, but this book planted the seeds and should surely help me cope better in the future with work-related difficulties.

You should be forewarned: you'll probably realize a lot of your stress is self-induced. I found myself cringing with the sudden realization of several self-destructive behaviors which I've had through the years. I think you need to be particularly open to effectuating personal change and breaking out of bad habits. For example, I never previously thought of myself as a "back-stabber"; instead I thought of myself as a rhetorically amusing and insightful critic and identifier of "office realities." Carlson really sensitized me as to the need to be circumspect about any kind of negative commentary about others, bearing in mind that whatever one says about someone or something is inevitably going to be spun by office gossips into the most negative light conceivable. That results in tension and resentment and stress. I now try to reserve my commentary (usually humorous anecdotes) about co-workers, etc. to acquaintances far outside my office. He also really brought home to me the principle of the destructive effect of complaining and griping about one's job; all that is accomplished is that one's negative view is reinforced, emphasized, perhaps even exaggerated by those other parts of your mind that hear you complaining. It becomes a vicious, snow-balling cycle of discontent. I suspect a lot of people intuitively think of it as "ventilating" one's frustrations and being helpful as such. I try now to not complain (in my case it was about boredom and the lack of professional growth). This has freed me up to seek out a remedies both inside and outside my employment scenario.

But, I cite the above only as examples. Carlson lays his recommendations out in 100 small chapters. I would say I learned something very useful from about 80 of them. I am very confident the long-term professional benefits will be significant. We're living in a very stressful time and a stressful culture. Focusing on the art of managing stress is almost mandatory if you want to thrive.

I've read this and another 2 books written by Richard Carlson (with his wife as a contributor), and I felt like I was listening to a good friend.

We all need healthier habits to survive in such a fast paced world. Richard shares his view of many stupid habits we have (excuse my language: I meant negative mental and/or emotional habits that "we let happen"), at the same time showing how simple to change or discard them. Since I believe it's all in our hands (most of the times), I say it's never too late to pay attention to his great advises, and start improving your life today!

Very light and positive thinking.

The age of self-improvement promises to bring us happiness if we......this book reminds us that we already posssess what we are searching for and that our busy lives are really a reflection of our busy minds. "Slowing Down" is a clearly written, non-mumbo jumbo explanation of how we create our reality of life via our thinking..the implication being that peace of mind is just a thought away. It contains concrete strategies for living in the moment and ways to reclaim what is ours at birth a built in capacity for health, wisdom, commonsense, and the enjoyment of life. "You cannot solve a problem with the same thinking  that created it" Einstein

As a single parent with a demanding career and three active (athletic & academic) teen children I've taken stress to an art form. This is the first "how to de-stress" book that provides the solution to stress without suggesting that you move to the mountains of West Virginia and live on roots and berries. This book has truly allowed me to continue to live life at the 150% level and love every minute of it. The secret: live in the moment not the past or the future. Sound simple? The amazing secret is that it is simple -- and it works. It's really true that this very moment is called "the present" because it truly is a gift. So ENJOY!.

An excellent book with very practical resources for taking charge of your own life. The title is a bit misleading in that the principles discussed can be applied to many problem areas, e.g., depression, anger, communication, relationships, not just stress or anxiety as the title implies. Another odd thing about the book is that the principles described are, for the most part, lifted straight out of Buddhist teachings, but the words Buddha or Buddhism are never mentioned, nor is much other specific information as to the "school" or "philosophy" of the book's ideas. So, if you'd like to learn about the psychology/philosophy of Buddhism without wading through the dogma, rituals, and other religious trappings, this book is a wonderful and practical place to start!

I love this book because it is so small that I can carry it with me in my purse. I like to get it out on a break at work and read a chapter on what I feel I need help with; it always picks me up and encourages me. What simple and brief yet wonderful advice! As I read I highlight the areas most applicable to me so that next time I read it I can read exactly what I most need to hear. Most chapters have a space that I use for notes and comments. Keep in mind that this is not a quick read. To make real changes in your life, I recommend this book should be read slowly, one to three chapters a day. When I first began, I tried to read straight through but it just goes in one ear and out the other. You have to read a chapter, stop, and think about it to best apply it to your life and make it work for you.

One of my favorite chapters is chapter six: REMIND YOURSELF THAT WHEN YOU DIE, YOUR "IN BASKET" WON'T BE EMPTY. I think the whole world should read this chapter! Here is an sample:

"SO MANY OF US LIVE OUR LIVES AS IF THE SECRET PURPOSE IS TO SOMEHOW GET EVERYTHING DONE....OFTEN WE CONVINCE OURSELVES THAT OUR OBSESSION WITH OUR "TO DO" LIST IS ONLY TEMPORARY--THAT ONCE WE GET THROUGHT THE LIST, WE'LL BE CALM, RELAXED AND HAPPY. BUT IN REALITY, THIS RARELY HAPPENS. AS ITEMS ARE CHECKED OFF, NEW ONES SIMPLY REPLACE THEM. THE NATURE OF YOUR "IN BASKET" IS THAT IT'S MEANT TO HAVE ITEMS TO BE COMPLETED IN IT--IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE EMPTY....REMEMBER THAT NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN SENSE OF HAPPINESS AND INNER PEACE AND THAT OF YOUR LOVED ONES. IF YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH GETTING EVERYTHING DONE, YOU'LL NEVER HAVE A SENSE OF WELL-BEING! IN REALITY, ALMOST EVERYTHING CAN WAIT...THE PURPOSE OF LIFE ISN'T TO GET IT ALL DONE BUT TO ENJOY EACH STEP ALONG THE WAY AND LIVE A LIFE FILLED WITH LOVE."

The book is organized, in my opinion, to be read in any order you want. Some chapters may be useful to you and some may not now but perhaps later on in your life. I find it very motivational. I think you will enjoy it also.

DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF...AND IT'S ALL SMALL STUFF--WORDS TO LIVE BY!

In "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all small stuff!", Dr. Richard Carlson continues to share his infamous wisdom. I know what you're thinking, this book can't apply to you because you or your work are detail oriented by nature. This book, actually, has nothing to do with overlooking details, it merely shows you how to avoid letting little things from taking over your life and putting things in the right perspective. In fact one of the greatest things I read in the book was a little chapter called "Remind Yourself That When You Die, Your In-basket Won't be Empty". Some other thought provoking chapters are entitled "Ask Yourself the Question: Will This Matter a Year from Now?", "Search for the Grain of Truth in Others Opinions", "See the Glass as Already Broken", "When in Doubt About Who's Turn it is To Take Out the Trash, Go Ahead and Take it Out". These and most of the 100 mini-chapters in this book are really quite refreshing in their viewpoint, and quite easy to apply in your own life. As an example, I have learned not to let bad driver's upset me anymore, I simply expect everyone on the road to have a license issued from a "cracker jack box"... so when a near miss happens, I am no longer surprised or upset! This is just one simple way to apply the techniques in "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff". This is a book that the whole office should read, as it's benefits are real and tangible. Dr. Carlson has done it again... well maybe that's why it's still a best-seller.

This is marvelous magical book you hold in your hands in which every word written counts without being weighty. Richard Carlson has written a book packed with ideas that will uplift the spirit, open your mind and heart and free you in a delightful easy manner as he guides you into a clearer focusing of your life. He takes our lives and breaks our activities into bit-size pieces to savor and study easily without choking on our whole life all at once. His next book written "Don't Worry, Make Money" is just as direct and as enjoyable to read. Both books are filled with ideas that just make so much sense, you wonder why it wasn't clear to you before, yet somehow you sensed you've know these things all along. Never mind that you couldn't see them before, Richard Carlson is helping you to see them now! Carlson is a real intelligent pied piper who feeds the mind with seemingly simple words but which form profound concepts and ideas without boring or "spoonfeeding" the reader. You'll find that you won't mind sharing these books with others, in fact you may find yourself encouraging others to take a look at them while you are together; but you won't want to loan them overnight you'll rather wish to keep them nearby for easy reference, they become valuable comrades to you. One of the best things about both his books is that that you can start at the beginning, or just pick up a chapter at random, each chapter stands alone, yet works within the framework of the whole work. Kudos to Carlson, thank you for your enlightened writing.