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Even with this flaw, this is one of Branden's more important books. It is brilliant and profound. It is a book to read and re-read at regular intervals throughout one's life. Two of the most important chapters are "Self Reliance and Social Metaphysics" and "Self-Responsibility and Romantic Love". Both of these themes appeared in his earlier "The Psychology of Self-Esteem". In particular the concept of social metaphysics is one of the most vital to understand in attempting to gain true psychological freedom and intellectual sovereignty. In my own case, had I just taken the time to understand how social metaphysics was impacting my decision to seek a divorce, I might been able to save my marriage.
The Introduction to this book is by itself almost worth the price of the entire book. It contains indispensible advice for finding true happiness in life. It also shows Brandon's essential modesty, as he credits his wife for these important insights.
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Central to Branden's insights for leading and managing are six practices (ways of living) essential to building self-esteem: being at a high level of consciousness, self-acceptance and acceptance of others, self-responsibility, self-assertiveness, purposefulness and personal integrity. This book is geared to self development-for helping anyone develop the qualities that underlie a healthy sense of self and effectiveness in living. Branden provides the reader with a 21 week personal development program that has enormous potential, provided you approach it with commitment and sincerity!
Branden's ideas offer the prospect of profound personal growth. The implications of his thinking for creating a highly effective organization should be thought about deeply by leaders. If you are embarked on organizational change, you should read this book before charging forward. Recommended. Reviewed by Gerry Stern, founder, Stern & Associates, author of Stern's Sourcefinder The Master Directory to HR and Business Management Information & Resources, Stern's CyberSpace SourceFinder, and the Compensation and Benefits SourceFinder.
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His approach is reality oriented: Branden outlines the inescapable need for self-esteem, its source in reality and the consequence of the failure to live in accord with this need. The contrast between legitimate self-esteem and counterfeit self-esteem help to clarify and define this crucial concept.
The book is, one the whole, theoretical and condensed. I am always amazed to find it shelved in the self-help section. This book should be read in conjunction with his latter works: The Disowned Self, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem and The Art of Living Consciously. The journey will be rewarding.
The simple reasons for this are b/c Branden explains a few points that are crucial towards being in a long term loving relationship that will last:
(1) Love yourself first. Some people don't quite get this point but it's true. If you don't exhibit high self esteem and someone with high self esteem comes along, you won't feel comfortable with them. NB believes you will either try to end it through arguing or that you will do other self sabotaging methods to get back to your comfort zone;
(2) If you can make time for a career job, then you must be able to make time for a loving relationship;
(3) The hardest part of any relationship is to face conflicts and not run away even when you're scared of the future with that person; and
(4) The most promising thing you can say of you loved one is that you would like to be like them if you were of the opposite sex; the worse thing you can say is that you would not want to be them if you were of the opposite sex.
Get this tape; even if you have to search for it at the library or a used bookstore.
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The message is simple and straightforward, and it's the same one Branden has been repeating for a long time. It's about taking responsibility for your life, and learning to value what's good about yourself. It might change you life.
And I read 9 of his books, within the same year, as I documented everyday, whatever came to my mind.
Recently, I had the pleasure of scanning through those old documents. I am so very happy to have read his books.
Looking back, the most important thing that I believe that I learned, in reading this book, my favorite amongst those that I have read by Branden, requires me to preface this by saying that I grew up in an environment where thinking for yourself was punishable in the worst of ways.
The point in which I picked up Branden's books, and this one in particular was when I told myself that those childhood messages were "junk."
I knew that through reading books there were some answers that I had decided that I couldn't find any other place.
I gained from reading this book, to recognize the difference between what I want and what I need.
That marked a huge step in my life's journey. Because then I had to study what kept me from owning those 2 basic parts of being human.
I learned through reading this book to not only look at my history, but to also explore who everyone in my life was, and who they are now - I became a scientist in a human lab, prepared to own, admit, experience and express my feelings, in the present moment.
And oh did this become comfortable.
Read this book to speak through your authentic voice.
It will require you to be patient with yourself, and to parent yourself in a way that you have never been parented before.
Honor everything about who you are, the "good," "bad," and in between.
Ask youself who gave those labels to you. Then ask youself if those are the labels that fit you now.
You will come to enjoy the journey of being here for the purposes of why you are sent here.
One of the most profound insights is that some of our seemingly hard-to-solve personal problems with our 'self' can be traced to an undeveloped self within our psyche such as our 'child self.' In our development as a child, for example, if we did not go though completely a natural cycle of development, or if a piece of the development is missing, that particular self may be crying to be completed within us. To get to the root of some of our problems we have to peer into these undeveloped selves and try to reconstruct why it was undeveloped and attempt to relive the event(s) to compensate for the loss in development. Sometimes it is like trying to peel away the layers of an onion - getting to the root of a psychological effect - but the effort is well worth it. I can testify from personal applications of Branden's approach.
This is very well written, rational, easy to read, and based on sound practice from Branden's clinical career.
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I am someone who only recently realized how low my self-esteem had been throughout life. I had undergone some brief non-medicated therapy that helped, but the real progress I've made and continue to make comes from reading books like this one. I was concerned that in order for this book to "work," I'd have to acquiesce into the author's way of thinking, but my concurrence has been natural throughout. With every recommendation Branden suggests, I ask myself if it would be better to accept this suggestion than not to, and I have yet to reject Dr. Branden's advice.
If you're looking for happiness, more self-esteem, and/or a solid philosophy on how to live your life, this book is it.
This is a book that can be read rapidly for those with some experience in Objectivism or psychology. Readers new to personal psychology can take the book step by step, mastering one pillar of self esteem at a time. I have heard that many people find the sentence completion exercises he provides to be valuable, although I have never felt the need for them.
Overall, The Six Pillars has a lot to offer everyone whether they are seeking answers for problems in their life or looking to learn more about psychology.