This book examines families for what they are supposed to be -- stable institutions for the raising of children. Of course, when there is abuse, whether it be chemical, physical, sexual, or emotional, a family cannot function properly. But when parents get divorced to find "personal fulfillment," they do so at the great expense of their children and ultimately society. The book argues for putting children's needs above parents' wants. It's a bit radical, because I believe most of us think of marriages in terms of strictly romance, and when that romance is gone, so is the marriage.

The book examines how the easy culture of divorce leads into other areas of life -- how we divorce friends, family, and jobs much quicker than we used to. But has this great pursuit of happiness, under the guise of divorce, really made us happier? It's taught us that when the going gets rough, it's time to say good-bye. The book examines what happens to children after divorce, and overwhelmingly the children are much worse emotionally and financially, no matter what we want to believe.

My husband of 20 years filed for divorce four months ago (we have four children, all under the age of 14). A friend to whom I will forever remain indebted "made" us both read this book. It simply changed our lives. We've quit being selfish and have resolved to stick by for better AND for worse. Life is far from perfect, but I am 100% certain that all our lives are better now than they would be during and after the turmoil of divorce. The book argues that when children are involved, a home is broken, and since home is a critical element in a child's self-esteem, there is no doubt that a child's self-esteem is affected as well.

Ms. Whitehead deserves a Pulitzer Prize for daring to say what needs to be said to protect our world's most precious commodity: our children. This should be an absolute must-read for anyone even contemplating divorce.

I selected this book for a graduate class book report on socio-economic issues that effect education. As an educator, I applaud Whitehead's frank discussion of the stakeholders in the divorce culture; not only the child, but society as well. One place I found evidence of this "culture" is the Texas Attorney General's web site for child support. We have state and federal programs to identify paternity and laws to make absentee parents accountable. As a divorcee, but without children, I was moved by Whitehead's discussion of the search for happiness. When their are children involved, whose happiness can we celebrate?

One reader criticizes the book as being "moralistic". Darn straight, and it's about time, too. Superb book that challenges the reader to take a long, cold, hard look at the reality of divorce. Of course, those that feel threatened by such a challenge won't "like" it very much, but then again, such a book is not meant to be "liked". It's meant to educate.

Yes, divorce is taking a toll on children all across America. But Whitehead's analysis is another version of "blaming the victim" not the causes. In this case, the victims are families themselves. If we are sincere about forging stronger family bonds, we need to address those causal issues which really tear at the core of family stability and health -- maldistribution of wealth in America, underpaid and dead-end jobs, the consumer culture, and corporate tax evasion. The divorce culture is really an artifact of where corporate America has been taking us for the last few decades. To insist that families must simply swallow their angst and try harder to stay together is to miss the whole point -- and dispense absolution on the guilty parties

Ms. Whitehead really hits the nail on the head. No holds barred, but extremely thoughtful and insightful. Painfully truthful to those in society who wish to assume no responsibility for their actions, but truth seldom offers solace to those seeking to shift blame.

As a child of divorce I found "The Divorce Culture" by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead fascinating and wonderful. It gave me some answers I have been looking for during my life as I have undertaken to be husband and father without making the mistakes of my parents. Her account of the development of the divorce culture, and most importantly the philosophical basis for that development, is a most important contribution to the current debate on the problems facing the American Family in the late 20th century.

Nothing develops in a vacuum and the rise of divorce is not an exception. Ms. Whitehead looks at the social and historical framework that defined the family and the ends to which that framework was built to serve. By comparing the social and historic record to the theories and forecasts made before the divorce revolution, she gives us the most clear summary possible in a work meant for the public, of the failure of those theories to meet or even suggest the results of large scale divorce on the society and on the children specifically. Personally, I was able to understand that my parents had a whole social-economic model that suggested to them, however incorrectly, that it was ok for them to divorce, and by divorcing they might be doing my siblings and I a favor. The model was wrong, and now Ms. Whitehead has written, clearly and without jargon, but with full bibliographical references, that this was so. She may be forgiven for making suggestions for solving the problems of divorce that seem vague and general. She states that it will take a change in the views of individuals to change the culture of throwaway marriages. In this she is no doubt correct, and therefore suggesting how this is to be done is by nature vague and general. We must each, on our own with our spouses, make decisions and sacrifices that will make the committed family the pillar of our culture again.

Ms. Whitehead has suffered the barrage of negative criticism that comes with challenging the accepted wisdom of the culture. She has been attacked as a reactionary by those who incorrectly equate easy divorce with liberation. She shows however, that easy divorce instead limits most of the women, and children, of divorce into the lowest levels of society and the economy. Ms. Whitehead has been attacked by those who say she would suggest that women should stay in an abusive or violent marriage for the "sake of the children." Anyone who gives this work even a casual reading will see that Ms. Whitehead makes clear that divorce has an important role in extreme cases. However she correctly points out that the vast majority of divorces are not for these extreme reasons.

I would recommend this work for anyone curious how divorce became so common in America. I would also suggest that anyone in the field of marriage counseling, especially those counseling prospective couples, recommend this book to their clients.

People will criticize this book because of the author's pro-marriage bias, because the book is repetitive and doesn't offer any real solutions, and because (for me)the women she chooses to highlight are such amazing overachievers they are hard to identify with. Although I agree with all that, I enjoyed this book enormously. It helped me to realize that I am in the norm for not having wanted to find a husband while in college(and not even having had real relationships during college), having short-lived relationships during my experimental and indecisive twenties, and now in my early thirties suddenly finding myself hardly dating at all. This book helped me to feel that it's not because there's something odd about me... I finally have a good stable job, decent income, emotional maturity, a mortgage, experience around the globe... and am attractive and in good shape... but I haven't had a relationship in three years and rarely meet any available men I would want to date (and when I do, they are totally commitmentphobic, and many peer men do seem to prefer 22-year-olds). This book helped me to realize that I am not alone (although I have felt that way) in this situation and that there are real shifts in society going on that have left me in such a puzzling situation. And that people do react as if you are needy and codependent for expressing the desire to meet someone. I work in public service and see all these incredibly messed up people breeding children, and I often think how weird it is that I could be so (relatively) together, with such a great education, and so unable to find a mate.

I decided to read this book because, as a man, I wanted to get a sense of how women were seeing the opposite sex and the dating scene in general. What I found in this book was a hard and true reality of the current dating world.

The book shows the struggles for women to find a life-time partner now a days. The fact that they need to be economically independent before looking for true love is just one of the many dificulties that women face today. It also shows how people in general, women and men, have become very pratical and work oriented in and outside the work place. The drawbacks in this way of seeing life and the opposite sex can be found in between the lines.

Basically, "Why are there no good men left" presents and well states a problem. The benefit of reading it is to be aware of it before, the problem comes knocking on your door.

It is a must read book for women and men in their 20s and 30s and also for parents willing to understand the current changes in the dating scene.

Reviewers who criticize this book as lacking useful advice for women or overly blaming men are missing the point: It's a fascinating snapshot into the minds of modern American women and the author herself as well as an indication of the changes for society ahead. If you want to save yourself a read, here's a quick summation: Successful, attractive, demanding, self-centered and aging women seem to have a hard time finding a successful man willing to give up his own carefree life to settle down with an old maid such as herself AND they can't seem to figure out why or what do to about it! It's an unintentional black comedy that will leave people in the know laughing and everyone else will have a hard time putting it down. I can't resist putting my own 2 cents into the issues the book raises and say that it's clear these women, indeed society, need to ask what's more important to women: Money and power or romance and love. To the women in the book, the answer is quite clear but that doesn't stop them from complaining about it and making fools of themselves. Grab some popcorn and enjoy.