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If indeed Vega is a masterful poet and author, the benefit of that mastery is lost in her shallow venturing into the inner process of a spiritual quest. Vega seems to intend that these adventures be of a spiritual nature. She refers often to a search for the Divine Feminine. But it is my experience that SHE can only be found by looking deeply within. It seems to me that Vega was always moving too fast for the Goddess to catch her.
What I read was the account of a self-centered, willful, aging, woman. Her only goal seemed to be to have sexual conquests around the world, the experience of which no doubt was enhanced by the physical dangers she encountered. That physical danger, and the high spiritual energy of the locations to which she traveled, could have been utilized to activate and empower a deep encounter with the goddess within.
In all fairness to Vega, it may be that she did indeed encounter the Divine Feminine and found herself either unable or unwilling to describe such a numinous experience. It is a difficult task to describe deep spiritual events without the narrative becoming self-centered as appears to have happened in this case. The books named above that had colored my expectations, were written by women whose training as analysts gave them a deep understanding of the inner process and an ability to share that clearly with their readers. So, perhaps it is unfair to expect the same of Vega. I can only hope that her experiences, and the pull of the Goddess, will in time take her to a deeper level of understanding.
Vega had found her voice with her first book of poems. Now what she began to search for was her own power, her strength of spirit as a woman. Her powerful sexuality led her to the sites of female power worship throughout Europe while recovering from a serious car crash. This lyric spirit took in the whole experience which kindled a fire of words and phrases, poetry and prose. Vega, a dedicated wordsmith, has forged a complex tale of wandering beauty posing questions about the self along the way that few philosophers would hazard.
What may seem a mere memoir on the surface is actually a powerful journey of discovery of womans fierce sexuality as Vega descends into the Peruvian amazon teeming with the humid life force of the jungle. The dolphin, the rivers, the rain and mud in a penal colony are capped by a shaman's yage journey. Finally, disassociating herself from the jungle, Vega notes "I thought back to my night with the ayahuasca, remembering how my shadow had detached itself from some trees, and attached to others. There was a sweet almost dispassionate quality in the shadow weaving through the leaves. Like the face of a mother with a wolfish grin, there was nothing personal in it. It simply moved."
An inveterate hiker, Vega who has climbed all of the highest peaks of her native Catskills around Woodstock set off for the Cordillera Blanca in Peru. Despite an ailing heart and guerrillas of the Sindero Luminoso she crossed Peru's highest range discovering the pristine beauty of the earth mother, Pachamama and her own courage as a woman. In the final chapter Vega sets off through the Annapurna range of the Himalayas again seeking all the time the essence of female power in a spiritual world that recognizes the fusion of masculinity and femininity, the yoni and lingam.
In these journeys, and throughout the book, Vega is not just struggling with herself. This is not a memoir, a self indulgence, a petty tale of my discovery of myself, but an allegorical chain of parables about the nature of woman and the female deity within all beings. Only a poet can reveal as much about her inner self and make it a metaphor for all women. This is a book of discovery that reaches beyond feminism, a spiritual journey that transcends travel literature and reaches beyond memoirs to the fundamental questions about the role of feminine power. Vega is a risk taker whether in the Himalayas or at her desk. She reveals far more of herself that most authors would ever consider doing. With a strong and powerful voice, the lyric license of a poet, she reveals a spiritual experience that transcends femenism and reached for the heart. This is an amazing book by an amazing woman which should be read and savored by all.
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