This is a fabulous book, and one can't help but compare it to Alexandra Fuller's "Don't Let's Go to The Dogs Tonight".

The difference is that although Fuller's parents were hard-drinking and unconventional, they loved their children enormously. Carolyn Slaughter had such toxic parents that it is amazing she has become an accomplished, funtioning person. Horribly abused by her father, physically as well as the sexual abuse, she was totally abandoned emotionally by her mother. I almost hated her mother more than the father, as she seemed to have no maternal feelings whatsoever.

My only complaint is that she ended the book when she left Africa as a teenager. She tells us in the epilogue that her parents and one of her sisters have all died, but doesen't say anything about their years back in England and whether she continued to have any relationship with her parents and what finally resulted in her having any self-esteem at all. I hope she is busy writing a follow-up. I highly recommend this book as well as Fuller's book.

If you've read that this is a book about a child raped by her father, you may well want to give it a miss. But you shouldn't, because although the horror of this event (which Slaughter, unlike most, finds corroboration for)frames her narrative it is also a remarkable story of an African childhood.
Her father, having bullied his way through the dying days of British colonial rule in India, found he couldn't settle in England, so set off with wife and two daughters for Africa. This is far from being the 'White Mischief' kind of existence, especially as the family wound up in the Kalahari desert. The bleakness and hash beauty of the landscape are what saves Carolyn - alongside discovering one true friend at school.
Slaughter is an excellent novelist who mysteriously fell silent many years ago. This is the reason why, and every pages rings with a sort of piercing truthfulness and pain. It's a story of great courage which must have taken greater courage to write.

When Freud's female patients complained of forced sex with their fathers at the ages of three, four, five, etc., at first he was incredulous. How could this be? These were not people from the gutter. He treated refined Vienesse burgers, not slum vermin. He knew some were pure fantasy. That many good girls wanted to marry daddy, and as neurotic adults have sex with daddy. But they couldn't ALL be fantasies. However, even trailblazers like Freud have their limits, and he relegated his"Seduction Theory" to fantasy, and dropped it like a hot potato. With him being Jewish in pre Holocaust Vienna, and his enemies castigating him as the Jew doctor who thinks everything has a sexual meaning, can you blame him? In her disturbing book, "Before the Knife", Carolyn Slaughter states on page four,"....the night that my father first raped me. I was six years old." That's the last we hear of this horror untill the final pages of the book. Many of us, as troubled children are convinced we are crazy, born to suffer, and are "total losers", but can't pinpoint a trauma to explain the feeling. Recent reasons such as "chemical imbalance" have helped to explain some mental illness. It seems that Carolyn Slaughter had proof of what turned her into a crazy person, and the one person who could have given her comfort and a safe haven was another crazy person, her mother, who refused to believe such "nonsense". In between the first statement of her rape, and it's final statemet at the end of the book is of a child growing up in that land of incredible human suffering, and incredible beauties of nature, Africa. It's another one of the Creator's jokes. The scenery is lovely, but you'll probably die of famine, plague, tribal war, or the master's whip. Dying of old age is granted to very few. This is not a beach book, and it's pages must have been stained with a lot of tears during it's creation.

This is a raw, powerful, haunting look at at life in Africa. It tells the story of how Emily Jones, growing up in the Kalahari with her cold british parents, searches for her identity through various experiences in her life. This book is intense, powerful, and sometimes painful, but with an uplifting conclusion. By the end you'll feel as passionate as Emily about her homeland of Botswana. If you can get a copy of this book, I very highly reccomend it!

this is an excellent book. I recently purchased it through Ebay (oops). It is a story of a young girl and her innocent bond between her and her brother. Various photographers like Hamilton and Sturges try to capture the images between girlhood and womanhood, the transition period; the moment she is no longer a girl, but not yet a woman. Carolyn Slaughter paints us the picture through her words. I only wish I had found this book earlier, I would have been done with all of her books by now. The book opened my eyes. I enjoyed sharing the journey through a girl's and woman's view. Oh, by the way, the book does involve incest, however, she allows you to make the value judgement of good and bad. Where good becomes bad, who has made it bad, etc. I definitely recommend this book. I only wished I had such a strong bond with my own sister.