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You could also say that Isaac Bashevis Singer, who wrote this tale in 1973, was no ordinary purveyor of Chelm shtiklech. You can tell from his beginning, a master's parody of Genesis.
"The pious believed that God said, 'Let there be Chelm.' And there was Chelm. But many scholars insisted that the town happened as the result of an eruption.
" 'Before Chelm,' they said, 'the area was one huge chaos, all fog and mist. Then came a great explosion and Chelm appeared.
"At the beginning the surface of Chelm was so hot that even if Chelmites had already existed, they could not have walked on the earth because they would have burned their feet." The first Chemites, this version goes, were not people but microbes, amoebas and other such creatures. When people finally arrived in town, they had names like Gronam the First, aka Gronam Ox, and Dopey Lekisch, Zeinvel Ninny, Treitel Fool and Shmendrick Numskull. And they practically invented problems.
One of the biggest was that the people of nearby Gorshkov called the Chelmites fools. Gronam Ox told his compatriots, "We Chelmites know that, of the ten measures of wisdom sent down to earth from heaven, nine went to Chelm. But the conceited people of Gorshkov think they are the clever ones and we are the fools." What does he propose? Why making war, of course.
Needless to say, the Chelmnicks end up in the wrong place, a God-forsaken town called Mazelborsht (translation: luck soup). Defeated by their own foolishness, they returned to Chelm half naked, weaponless and with broken noses and black eyes. This produced the expected seven days and seven nights of contemplation which resulted in four sage proclamations.
Next the Chelmites abolished money, decided to hold elections once every 40 years, asked Zeckel Poet to compose a hymn of 12,000 lines which schoolchildren must learn by heart and appoint Shlemeil secretary. Of course, the merchants refused to part with their goods for nothing, which resulted in a system of barter in which Zeckel Poet was the most eager participant, followed by Shmoyger the matchmaker, Fultsha Jester and the Chelm band. Nothing was exchanged.
To discover what became of Singer's Chelm, you'll have to exchange some abolished currency for this masterwork, which contains much hilarity. And of course, you'll be in luck soup if you find a copy. Alyssa A. Lappen
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Teaches us all to hope and believe.
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