Wendy Shalit is a definite breath of fresh air. With a very uncompromising voice lifted in outrage at what the modern woman is expected to be, act and feel, she provides a very cogent statement to other women.

Her first bit of good fortune was to miss the standard fourth grade (and beyond) sex education that is foisted on American children in public schools. By being able to remain outside the experience of the current form of boy-girl teasing and harassment that goes on, she was able to take a divergent path in being able to perceive the landmines in the landscape.

She takes on the 'accepted' views of today's feminists, as well as the minimalization of conservatives, and scores point after point. She backs up her ideas and thoughts with numerous citations that leave the reader feeling that she is sure Ms. Shalit knows what she is talking about.

Her humor is very enjoyable, not many true belly laughs, but plenty of light moments. Still, she is able to drive home, forcefully, the very serious problems that have been plaguing our young women. The insight into the problems and ability to connect with the reader are particular points of merit in this book.

I'm sure there are going to be a number of older, crusty people who will chivvy her because of her youth, arrogance, presumption, etc., etc., etc. Don't listen to them. Read the book and make up your own mind... don't be held in thrall by modernistic ideas that end up being millstones around the necks of our young, adult women.

Shortly after I got in to it, I said I had to stop reading Wendy Shalit's "Return to Modesty". The case studies and excerpts from popular literature/magazines the author sites were just stomach churning. I got very depressed. However, I have decided to persevere after I passed the opening arguments in her case for modesty.

I noted that the author draws heavily on the case studies of Mary Pipher, who wrote "Reviving Ophelia" I read this book. I was glad that Pipher "uncovered" the dark world that a lot of teenage girls live in: sex, self mutilation, okay... but I agree with Shalit. Pipher remains clueless as to what's really going on. To her, these girls are pathetic Ophelia figures that are suicidal victims of some sexual drama that is happening outside themselves. They just need to snap out of it and get some confidence in their own sexuality. I was discussing the JonBonet case with a friend recently, and the idea that mothers often push sensuality on their daughters. The images alone of Jon Bonet all made up are shocking and sick. It's like this little girl was killed off before she was murdered. Well, it struck me that all of us girls in this generation (born after mid 1960's) are pushed towards sensuality by other WOMEN. These "mother figures" can be psychologists like Pipher, our professors, magazine advice columnists, whoever. Anyway, the idea is that we are supposed to boldly live the dreams of sexual equality that the women of the past have constructed.

I cant help thinking that this is less like the drama of Hamlet's Ophelia and more like Salome. You know Salome: the young girl that asked Harod for the head of St John the Baptist. Salome's mother is so angry about having her sexual sins revealed that she wants St John silenced in the most morbid way. So she encourages her daughter to perform an erotic dance to seduce Harod into a horrible act of violence. The girl now becomes a participant, not an innocent victim, in the drama. All so the sins of the mother can continue without the judgment of the Saint.

I think Salome dies from a sort of decapitation, a violent separation from her own body, when her mother offers her up to the Male Tyrant (Harod, the baby-killer). Someone should write a book called, "Reviving Salome". Wendy Shalit's "Return to Modesty" may be that book.

Bravo. Finally, a book which reveals not just that women want to feel beautiful, to be courted, to be cherished, and dare I say it, to be "committed to" by men...but which also reveals that for this to happen successfully, it helps to call upon the natural sense of modesty with which nature endowed females. The entire natural kingdom seems to know that courtship is an intricate dance designed to benefit both sexes, except our generation of "liberated" and sadly, disappointed, women. I think of all the girls dumped in college, all the "walks of shame" we laughed about with friends while feeling slightly depressed inside when "he didn't call," all the 30 year old women still waiting for that ring, all the single mothers, and all the anorexic, razor cutting, prozac popping teenage girls who attempt to embrace a ton of double standards to no avail, and I can only advise you to read this book and share it with others. And also, let's think about the men. Holding a little back promotes the notion that what they are going after is special, rare, worth valuing, worth caring about in the long run, and in this way, provides them with an even richer happiness when they finally experience a much truer form of intimacy, as well as an enhanced sense of confidence, pride even. So many people joke in groups about the prudish, naive and ridiculous nature of concepts like Shalit's, but don't be fooled, in their mockery lies fear-- fear that such voices may be correct. It is in the one to one conversations that individuals, male and female alike, whisper that for a 'naive' young woman fresh out of college, Shalit is quite simply, right.