Mark Salzman's LYING AWAKE is the story of one woman's test of faith. She is Sister John of the Cross, a Carmelite nun living in a monastery surrounded by the hubbub that is Los Angeles. She has given most of her life to the service of God, and she has been gifted with wonderful, ecstatic visions. Words have poured out of her into her journals -- her poetry has inspired seekers within and without the Order. Now in middle age, she suddenly discovers that the headaches that have accompanied these visions could threaten her life -- and, more devastating than this, they could be indications that her visions are nothing but hallucinations brought on by a medical condition. Her choice is plain but difficult -- if she agrees to the surgery that could correct this condition and possibly save her life, she risks losing the one aspect of her religious life that she has seen as a validation of her Vocation. Not an easy choice.

Salzman's prose is as spare and delicate as any I have read -- and yet it conveys so very much. Life for the cloistered Sisters is revealed to the reader without romanticizing -- in all of its simplicity, hardship and beauty. His descriptions of the nuns' cells, the chapel, the monastery garden all shine with a gentle but firm light -- they all seem so present and real. The emotions that pass through Sister John are just as real -- this journey she is taking is one of the soul, and it is not an easy one. Her journal entries are so spiritually evocative --

'an invisible sun
a shock wave of pure Being
swept my pain away, swept everything away
until all that was left was God.

God awakening.'

In another entry, she describes the dissolution of the Self to the Eternal Will:

'You were here all along.
I pierce the universe.
God pierces me.
I do not think; I am thought.
I do not know; I am known.'

The luminous journal entries attributed to Sister John are alone worth the read -- but there is so much more to be garnered from this marvelous work. The quotation at the very top, another from her journal, is so true for all of us -- particularly in light of recent terrible events. Her journey -- and its resolution -- can inspire us when we need it the most.

This is a book of incredible insight and feeling -- remarkable for its beauty (and frugality) of language. I know that I will find myself returning to it again and again throughout my life. I'm glad it's coming out in paperback -- I can see myself giving a few copies as gifts, and the hardcovers would break me!

Sister John of the Cross has visions which she and her cloistered community have accepted as messages from God until one day she finds out that they may be a result of a medical problem, perhaps seizures, and that they can be corrected through surgery and may even save her life. Thus begins a course of events which for the lay or secular person or the nonbeliever might mean nothing, but present a terrible choice for Sister John. The book traces her life in chronological flashbacks, her childhood, being raised by grandparents, her younger years as a novice and then a full Sister in the cloister, her spiritual struggle and progress over the years and her relationship with the rest of her community. This is ordinarily not a book I would have chosen to pick up, as I am not a Catholic, but I heard so many good things and being by Mark Salzman was recommendation enough. I was not disappointed. The book in its simplicity, yet and depth and poetic style inspired and uplifted me. Sister John is a spiritual poet. The story itself reads like poety and prayer - then you have Sister's John's poetry and her interior dialogue and prayer. Mr. Salzman effortlessly weaves it all together. The story is told with a great deal of respect, insight, and compassion for the cloistered life, which is such a mystery to most of us. And you will root for Sister John, through her questioning and her insights, her depths of despair, her courageous and honest journey toward God. This is a book you will want to keep by your bedside and pick up again and again. I urge everyone to read it.

Writing short is harder than writing long. and subjects beyond average readers' life experience challenge writers to create understanding that builds bridges of credibility and empathy.
Writing about the lives of cloistered nuns, Salzman has met these challenges with exceptional brevity, clarity and elegance. He develops his characters persuasively and compels the reader to care about the outcomes. Cloistered nuns may seem to share little with life in our modern world, yet they are intensely human under the habit, much like us. Salzman conveys this connection convincingly. Simple humanity and goodness shine through the nuns' attitudes. The intrinsic test of becoming and remaining a Carmelite nun underlies every paragraph.
Readers will not, unless blessed with a vocation, rush to the convent to become nuns. Salzman does not attempt an apologia pro vita sua on the part of Sister John and her religious life. Rather he helps us think and feel, open our hearts to wonder and awe, and permits us a rare chance--in a modern existence of relentless busy-ness--to examine another world whose validity and value he demonstrates beyond doubt. The paradox at the heart of this exquisite little book is even more fascinating because it leaves our tension and speculation unresolved. In this respect it is analagous to the problem of understanding and resolving the lives of others, even of our own.
AWAKE is not long but remains in the mind and heart long after the final chapter ends. Salzman has mastered his subject and his language. In an ocean of relentless trivia foisted on us today by a publishing industry (indeed, an entire media industry) seemingly interested only in financial reward, his precise and perceptive gifts to us are invaluable and profoundly memorable.