This is a very interesting book that focuses on anti-semitism from a psychological point of view. Utilizing what Rubin terms "symbol sickness" the author probes the inner workings of the mind of the anti-semite and the psychological movitation for his hatred. While some of his theories may seem outlandish to the lay person Rubin justifies his approach with amazing clarity. Anyone looking to understand the psychology of anti-semitism will find this book invaluable.

I was 11 when I first read David & Lisa/Jordi. These stories cannot be recommended highly enough. Dr. Rubin clearly cares about his patients and the characters he has based on them. His compassion shines through like a beacon. These books are not to be missed.

David, a gifted neurotic, compulsive boy meets the psychotic Lisa in a residential treatment center. He masks his obvious attraction to the girl by claiming to be clinically interested in her. She speaks in rhyme to suppress her "alter ego," identified as Muriel. David unlocks the riddle of why Lisa speaks in nonsense rhymes and from that point on, he makes incredible progress. His psychiatrist, Dr. White and Lisa's teacher, John are compassionate characters one can't help but love.

Jordi really touched my heart. I first read "Jordi" when I was 11 and it remains a favorite book to this day. Jordi was a very bright boy who lived in Brooklyn. He knew all the train and bus routes in the tri-state area and at 8, had not learned any academic skills. Jordi is clearly schizophrenic and his mental illness makes him confused about what is real and what is fantasy. He fears garbage pails because he thinks the opening is an ear that can hear him. He fears rain forests because he thinks trees will land from the sky onto him.

Jordi did not fit into any mainstream program and he was lucky his parents had the foresight not to commit him to an institution. That was just too inhuman. Luckily for Jordi, a day school opened in his area and he was admitted. I loved the way he and his teacher, Sally, worked with each other. Lisa makes a guest appearance in this book with her teacher, John. They, too, help Jordi in that he learns that he is not the one being hurt when he sees Lisa kicking John in anger one day. Sally helped Jordi shed many of his misperceptions and I loved the way she and Jordi demolished a garbage can. She encouraged Jordi to identify anger and to vent it onto that can. By doing this, she allowed Jordi to explain his fear and she, in turn could tell him that garbage cans are inanimate and can't hear. She helped Jordi over many hurdles including academic work. It warmed my heart to read about Jordi's rapid progress in reading and in acquiring advanced mathematic skills. I loved the way Sally helped orient Jordi by showing him that he would always be Jordi regardless of which seat he occupied or what coat he wore or what changes occurred in his routines. She clearly accepted this boy and it is through their good work together that Jordi was able to break from the bond of psychotic confusion into health and social/world participation. Please read this book. It's great. You will love it.

During Christmas week, a man and a woman who claim to be Jesus and Mary roam the streets of Manhattan in the dead of winter. The police, figuring the pair to be mentally ill vagrants take them to Bellevue. Once there, the pair introduce themselves as 2/3 of the Holy Family and miracles happen. A catatonic patient becomes relevant and lucid; a screaming pyschotic calms down and yet other patients begin showing signs of recovery.

Are they really Jesus and Mary? How to explain the cures on the ward? This is a delightful story that will certainly restore faith in human nature. This book is a real treat.

I'm glad this book is still in print. Although it was written some time ago, and no doubt, professional psychologists have moved beyond its insights, for a layman the book is incredibly useful in day-to-day relating, especially with romantic partners. The basic insights revolve around types of relating (towards others, against them, or away from them) and models of relating (creative, cooperative, adversarial and antagonistic). One of the more disturbing thoughts in the book is that 99% of relations have some elements of sadomasochism! (Of course, sadism and masochism are defined technically in the book.) More important, it explains why. A subtext is that romance isn't what you should be looking for in a stable partnership. Compassion towards self and partner tends to be the dominant message. There is an odd last chapter about a therapeutic game that all readers can attempt to play with their partners. It's a game focusing on verbalising emotions (immature narcissists, however, cannot play). The book would have been better with examples of some couples engaging in the rules of the game, contending with the weaknesses of their dominant means of adapting to reality. Some dialogue of actual people trying to improve their ways of relating is lacking, so the book comes to a kind of abrupt halt. The book sometimes reads as an ad for the psychoanalysis industry. Non-American readers might be wondering what all this business of "talking cures" is all about. There is, fortunately enough, little about Freud, and the author (Rubin) claims little debt to Freud for most of the insights he has. Karen Horne is mentioned numerous times in the text as an important colleague. I read the book in conjunction with a more up-to-date text, Robyn Skinner's _Families and How to Survive Them_, which also explains how family and interpersonal dynamics can be understood with the help of recent developments in psychology. What is needed is a new edition of _One-to-One_ with comments and an introduction by professionals in the field, to let the layman know whether or not Rubin's insights are still useful by their standards (if they ever were). I have no idea whether counsellors find this book useful at all. But in my experience, the book has proven beneficial. I plan next to read Rubin's other book _Reconciliations_. Before reading this one, I also stumbled across Rubin's book _Overcoming indecisiveness_.

A somewhat useful book I must say. To go over details is useless here because the book is good only for the right reader and I think it's not intended for someone very young (not that it will hurt a young reader ) but one has to have accumulated a bit of life experience to relate to what the author talks about. However, there are imperfections: as any analyst's book it's too watery to my taste (though I gotta say, unlike the rest of similar literature he doesn't bash the reader with a profusion of citations from other authors, nor does he use creative fiction as a source of examples (the latter is the most inane habit of analytical authors.) Also, the author either needs to get him a Chicago (or any other) Manual of Style, or somehow inveigle his editors into doing more careful editing--the book is full of annoying writing mishaps that, while not really destroying the overall value of it, do impede reading and irritate. Things like saying "mitigate against" obviously instead of "militate againt", and the like; awkward passages leave a bad taste in the reader's mouth--you'd think that a medical doctor, in addition to professional competence, ought to be a literate person in general. But again, the book's not bad at all, especially if you consider that most of books falling under the self-improvement rubric is mind-bogglingly dishonest commercial junk.

Compassion and Self Hate allowed me to consciously admit and put into perspective many self hating aspects of my life which have kept me from being consistantly confident, assertive, and having the life and professional experiences for which I yearn.

I discoved the book "Compassion and Self Hate" at a time when I really needed it. After having accepted a job that I was afraid to apply for, because it pushed me beyond my comfort zone, I was feeling pretty unhappy one evening on the subway ride home from work. A women next to me was reading the book on the train. As I read a couple paragraphs of her book, it immediately related to how I was mentally beating myself up at that moment. I apolozied for having read over her shoulder and asked for the name and author of the book.

The book has helped me to separate my fear of failure (because I usually think that most people are smarter than myself), from my need to analyze how I contributed to the job and the job contributes to my self growth. After deciding that the job is just my current challenge for which there was not failure, and a stepping stone to my next challenge, I stop try to find reasons why I should quit or be fired.

I am now taking classes in web development, thinking about graduate school, and working to fulfill a dream of taking a trip to Africa to meet family members on my father's side.

While it may be comforting or discomforting to know that most/many people experience some form of self hating tendancies, it is more comforting to know that there is a book (also available in paperback) that I and my sisters and brothers can read to help us deal with unspoken inner pain and self doubt.

I have searched for the book on Amazon.com in hope that it is still in print, and it is, so that I can return this library copy for which I have been checking out for the last eight months. I plan to buy a paperback copy for myself and everyone in my immediate family.

i've read this 2 or 3 times..lost my copy..so, getting another..with wisdom, acceptance, intelligence and love Dr. Rubin lays it right on the line..tremedously insightful and makes a perfect 'bible' for confidence and trudging with trust through self-put downs...john

Since I tend to be a person one would describe as hot-headed or ill-tempered, I thought this the perfect gift. Honestly, I believe that much of what Dr. Rubin purports to be true: that many psychological problems stem from our inability to connect to our anger.

However, I found that the book's main points are made in the first several chapters while the balance is spent reiterating those points continually. In my opinion, Dr. Rubin should've spent more time helping the reader with excercises aimed at connecting WITH the anger rather than understanding its many faces.

Maybe he is setting us up for "The Angry Book II". I think I will pass -- I'm a bit angry that I got this book as a gift.

When I was dealing with "inappropriate" anger (over-reacting to a situation)I read this book to help me. This author spoke about deep seated anger that was never resolved; in my case from childhood abuse. He said that this unspoken anger can "accumulate" so that when you might get angry for some small thing - all this "old" anger comes out in an over-reaction. Learning about this made me want to finally deal with the old anger in order to live a more normal life. I felt that this book was instrumental in my life by showing me that I had choices about my anger. I have become a much nicer person.

It's an excellent book. Simple and straight to the point. Each topics are about 2-4 pages long and it explains what does each "sickness" supposed to do, how it builds up, etc.

David was a 16 year old boy, who enters an institution, because of his nightmares and fear of touch. He meets a young girl by the name of Lisa who has a split personality. This story is of their growing as a person, growing in love. This story wasn't like anything I have ever read before, because it was written as a case story would be. The only real thing that I found similar about this book was that two people fall in love. I was very touched by the character of Lisa. The reason why is that Lisa has a split personality. One moment I could be extremely happy and the next severly depressed. I could understand her more than the character of David. "Big fat John, fat cat John---he's gone, he's gone---Fat John is gone!" This was from her personality when she was Lisa. While when she is Muriel she is no longer childish, but more lady like and silent. I really liked the theme of the book, which was that people can change and can get better over time. The reason I rated this book so low, is because I had really didn't like how it was written. I found that the play was written a lot better. In the play and movie, you got to meet characters like Simon, Josette, Kate, Carlos, Sandra, and etc. They were also students at this institution. I did like how you got see more of what David and Lisa were thinking and their background. You could start to get a sense of their background.I really hated how the book ended, but I enjoyed the moment when David and Lisa met. This book is not for everyone and I really do not recommend it, unless you are trying to get background on Lisa and David, or have an extra half an hour to burn. But I do highly recommend reading/seeing the play and/or seeing the movie.