This is a truly amazing and wonderful book! Rubin-Deutsch writes that "you can be the person YOU choose to be . . ." and offers a step-by-step guide to discovery and realization. She makes it easy to grasp the often unconscious patterns we form as children in response to our parents and families by using the idea of contracts-and then shows how to "re-write" these contracts from a healthy and adult point of view. The book contains clear explanations of the concepts, with examples, and is also a workbook with exercises to complete. It is definitely not something to rush through, but requires some serious thought in order to really achieve personal growth. The book is very well organized and each chapter builds upon the work in the previous chapter so that you can really see and feel progress. I especially liked the guided meditations which are used as a tool for relaxation, coping, discovery and reinforcement--and continue to use them. Reading this book and doing the work felt very much like working with a therapist-it almost seemed like I could hear her! She must be fantastic to work with in person! Anyone who wants to unhook themselves from the damaging thoughts, feelings and behaviors that stem from childhood "contracts" will appreciate the supportive, affirming and positive voice of the author. But I also think that just about everyone can benefit from the self-exploration that flows from the exercises Rubin-Deutsch outlines.

We are using this book, believe it or not, as a required text in an intermediate level French course. I would not recommend it. Almost everything in this book is simply common sense. The information is too general to be useful - it would be much more helpful simply to learn about the language you are studying. The writing is rather simplistic. The only people who might find it useful are those who have never studied a foreign language. If you are already learning one, you know everything in this book that applies to you.

The book is designed to cover the "psychological, linguistic, and practical matters surrounding the successful acquisition of a new language." It covers the first two quite well, but the presentation of "practical matters" often falls short in providing nuts-and-bolts ideas with sufficient examples to help you implement them.

A much better book for most aspiring language learners looking for a how-to guide is Graham Fuller's "How to Learn a Foreign Language". It is less academic and more practical in tone, providing many suggestions with plenty of examples. The only practical things I saw in Rubin and Thompson's book which Fuller's did not have are (a) a self-test to help you identify your weak spots in language-learning skills, and (b) a section to help you clarify your objectives in learning a new language.

If you like the academic approach, this may be a good book for you. If you prefer a more familiar tone with a "hands-on" emphasis, get Fuller's book instead.

I wish I had this book 20 some years ago when I began learning Chinese. Although I have many years of language study behind me (including a degree in Chinese language and literature), I still found helpful, new ideas in this book when I bought it two years ago.

Many language teachers do not teach well HOW to be a student of the foreign language that they teach. That is because many of them are native speakers and never themselves had to think about how they learned language. Also, many of the teachers (particularly native Chinese teachers) are the product of a very archaic and dsyfunctional (my opinion of course) education system. Students of such teachers would benefit greatly from reading this book.

Also inspiring is the latest research and theory about language learning presented here. When I began foreign language learning, it was an accepted "fact" that adults (like me) could not learn languages as well as children. It is a suprise and relief to read in this book that research now debunks this myth.

I was suprised to see the other reviews of this book here on Amazon and to see that they were negative. I have found it to be a very helpful, well researched and well written book and an important reference in my continuing language studies.

The author attempts to write in language that confuses the reader to hide the fact that the point she it trying to make is obvious and not worthy of sooooo many pages.