Wonderfully beautiful prose wrapped around a thorough examination of the ways we enter into the physicality of a child's world, of parenting infants, toddlers, adolescents, and the current indictments of that physical relationship. Intellectually brilliant, linguistically rich, these essays cast the relationships between parent and child into a new and necessary light, and reaffirms the importance of touch in the growth of a child, and the emergence of a parent

The Eros of Parenthood is a sensitive exploration of a very hot topic: managing the intensely sensual experience of child-rearing in a culture as attuned to sexual abuse as ours is.

I have worked in the field of child sexual abuse for many years, and know very well how widespread the problem is and how serious the consequences can be. Therefore, I read Oxenhandler's book with some fear that she would "pile on" in the current attacks against people who have raised awareness about sexual abuse.

But Oxenhandler successfully balances her impassioned advocacy for the bonds of passion between parents and children and her knowledge that sexual abuse is a reality. In fact, she uses Goldilocks's quest to find the "just right" between two extremes -- in this case, the extremes of frigid lack of touch on one hand, and sexual abuse on the other -- as an organizing trope throughout her book.

Oxenhandler's book is not a quick read. It is subtle, nuanced, exploratory, beautifully written -- a perfect fit for her subject. Every parent who has been overwhelmed by love and the sheer joy of physical intimacy with a child will find relief, friendship, and intelligent, sensitive guidance in this wonderful, essential, and timely book.

Noelle Oxenhandler's "The Eros of Parenthood" combines evocative writing with a close scrutiny of the great pleasures and considerable dangers in close bonds between children and parents. What's unique about this book is the way Ms Oxenhandler writes with the intimacy of memoir, making the reader feel very close to the experiences she describes from her own childhood and her relationship with her daughter, and at the same time gives us just the right amount of information about parent-child bonds. "Just rightness" is truly the theme of this fine book--encouragement to all of us to trust that we will get the right balance between being intimate with out children and not invading their psyches or bodies. So many books that might be called "popular psychology" are cold and distant; "The Eros of Parenthood" feels like listening to a friend, and friend of friends, describing the difficult times, the rewarding times, with their children. So much of our spontaneity has been curbed as we imagine that we might be doing something wrong, or what could be construed as wrong, when we show our love to our children in ways we know are entirely right; "The Eros of Parenthood" tells us that we are doing a good thing by loving our children, that we know in our hearts and minds when that love isn't appropriate and we won't go there. "Eros of Parenthood" is unique and beautiful in so many ways that I recommend it with great enthusiasm. B. L. Baer, Floreant Press, California.

Shortly after my husband of 31 years divorced me for a much younger woman, I stumbled across this book, A Grief Out of Season, in the library where I worked. I was stunned to discover a book on this subject, but boy was I glad I found it. I had been unpleasantly surprised to discover that not only had my husband divorced me, but our three grown children as well - unless they would have a relationship with him on his terms. This meant unconditionally accepting his new wife and her four younger children as their new family! Our children's negative reaction to this and the resulting estrangement from their father was a real source of grief to us all. In the book I discovered that our family was not alone, and drew much comfort from the many personal stories that were related therein. The authors really did their homework, plus their personal experiences were invaluable. I immediately wanted to get this book for each of my grown children and was disappointed to learn that it was out-of-print, so I had to be content with relating to them, second-hand as it were, as much of what I had learned as possible. Since then I have been checking with Amazon.com periodically to see if the book has been re-printed. (This at their recommendation.) I hope it will be soon. Lots of people have much to gain by reading it - grown children and their parents as well!

As someone whose parents divorced when I was 24, I can say that this book was the best thing that happened to me during that time. Contrary to what those who have never been there believe, adults whose parents are divorcing feel as much pain and grief as young childrenm, and this book lets them know that others have been there and felt the same. It offers insight on many different situations that may occur in later-life divorce, gives practical suggestions, and explores the feelings that children of such divorces share. It is written in real language, not psychology-speak, giving it a humanistic feel. This is the only book published on the subject of adults whose parents divorce in later life, and is a must-read for those adults.