When this book was copyrighted in 1976, the Human Potential movement was in its infancy. Look on the shelves of any devoted personal growth seeker today and you will see examples of the explosion of self-help books that are now available.

Osborne's book stands out because it is direct, simple and therapeutic. Why we do not love ourselves becomes very clear. How we can help ourselves and our offspring also is outlined in clearly understandable language.

I also like the small size of this book because it appears manageable to someone starting out on this path of self-discovery. The real life ancedotes help entertain while teaching and help in applying the concepts to ones own life.

This book, originally published in the early 70s, is WAY outdated. Osborne maintains (I am not far from quoting) that unless a woman gets married, gets pregnant, and has a bunch of kids she will never be satisfied. A woman's place is in the home, a man's is at the office, and apparently realizing this is supposed to let you and your mate in on your true identities and lead to blissful lives. Furthermore (and perhaps worse), Osborne insists on stereotyping males and females in ways that were very offensive to both me and my husband. Example: women like to fight to test whether their husband will dominate them, because in the end they like to be dominated. The further we read, the more disgusted we became. Unless you live on some other planet or possibly in some other time period, this book will only lead to MISunderstanding each other. Don't waste your money.

Understanding Your Mate reflects only a small part of the wisdom shared in Osborne's earlier work - The Art of Understanding Yourself - If you can find a copy of this don't pass it up! Although "Art of Understanding Your Mate" may seem dated in some aspects, most conflicts and behaviours in a relationship have the same root now as they did a generation ago. Osborne helps us understand the source of inter/personal conflict and strategies to resolve the cause, not just the effect - We cannot change another person directly. We can however change ourselves and give the other person room to respond in kind. The art of a successful Christian marriage is not wait for your spouse to serve your needs, but first to satisfy the needs of your spouse. If your spouse in return seeks to understand and answer your needs, both will be generously fulfilled. This book came into my life when it was most needed and I am grateful. It would make an excellent resource for small group study, even better when combined with "The Five Languages Of Love".

This is a timeless guide to the principles which undergird a healthy marriage. The ability to see a problem or a situation from your spouse's perspective is what makes Dr. Osborne's book so helpful. He uses anecdotes and scriptural references to help the reader see beneath the surface of our mate. Men and women are different and knowing how those differences affect our interpersonal communication leads to understanding. That, and the realization that marriage is about sacrifice and putting someone else's interest ahead of our own. There is no such thing as marriage being a 50/50 proposition, or even 60/40. Those kinds of expectations inevitably result in disappointment because our spouse rarely has the same expectations we do. Changing our own expectations and our own behavior first is what Dr. Osborne teaches will effect changes in our mate and ultimately our marriage. My first exposure to this book was 16 years ago when my wife handed it to me with the admonition, "Read it or else." Naturally I followed her excellent advice and it saved our marriage. Since then I have used it as a tool to help others whose marriages are in difficulty. I keep several copies on the shelf to hand out as needed. Definitely worth the read.