This is by far the best resource I have ever seen for doing focused relationship repair/building work. I initially picked up this book at a friend's house and found the cover to be enticing. Dr. Phil was blowing apart some long-held myths about relationships and I was intrigued. By the time I got ahold of the book my own relationship was needing some serious attention and I drove in with both feet. I doubt my fiance will ever even see this book and it really doesn't matter. I'm a hypnotherapist and I work a lot with people who are looking for change in their lives. I understand the power of taking responsibility for my side of the street and the difference that can make. I'm a little more than halfway through the book and things have improved dramatically between my fiance and me already. I am learning more about myself than I ever imagined I would, and what I am learning will be useful for me going forward in many areas of my life, not just the romantic love relationship that I'm in. I rarely endorse this kind of self-help, but this book is excellent.

During my years as a counsellor, I have discovered first hand the overwhelming number of relationships in dire trouble. Couples often stay in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship for a multitude of reasons; some will improve with counselling, a greater number will end up in divorce court. I agree with the author, a considerable number of couples continue to seek counselling and remain there year after year with no significant results. If that is the case, it is time for a change.

Relationship Rescue is an excellent self-help book for those whose relationships are not quite as harmonious and blissful as they once were, as well as for those seeking insight in keeping the relationship in balance. What I like most about the book is the author's straight-forward, realistic approach. He is a true professional in his field and his expertise shows among the pages of this book. If you are looking for sympathy and a shoulder to cry on, you might not appreciate McGraw's somewhat blunt, direct manner; however, the process of "therapy and change" generally is not an easy one. Self-help means being prepared to make those changes and finding the commitment to work through the process; there is no such thing as a lasting, quick-fix solution. No book will guarantee solving whatever problems exist in a relationship, but for those truly committed to self-improvement, the price of this excellent book is worth every penny in return for the author's sound and realistic strategic approach.

As usual, Phil McGraw is steps ahead of the rest of us in sorting out what is *really* going on in relationships. Refreshingly, he begins the book by questioning the therapeutic standards too often given to the thousands of couples in trouble. "The divorce rate in America refuses to drop below fifty percent, and twenty percent of us will divorce not once but twice in our lifetime. Clearly, pleasant and generic instructions on how to communicate better or theoretical musings that give you great insights about relationships just weren't going to cut it fifteen years ago and won't cut it now. " Obviously (to paraphrase him), couples therapy as we have known it isn't working.

You can watch him often on Oprah, but this book is the next best thing to either watching him there, or having him as your personal therapist.

This book is primarily for relationships 'on the rocks' - the first steps are set up to evaluate and understand what your relationship is, how it got this way (no surprise, it didn't fall apart on its own, or because of your partner). The Seven Steps are not simple or simplistic, but provide structure for thought and more. This book is not about what's wrong with your partner and how to fix him or her. It is about the person reading the book -- you!

This would be a great book for new couples to read together (and for this price, why not order one for you and one for your loved one, and read them first in private, then together), not just before they are in crisis, but before they decide to marry. When the relationship is still strong, new, fresh, it is more likely that both people will be willing to talk openly about what they expect and want, and to be able to use the truly helpful instructions on how to stay together.

For those in a troubled relationship, you might want to read this yourself first, and work on your own issues. Dr. Phil has a directness that can be intimidating to some - but for some of us, we need that extra push. This book is on my must have list for newlyweds as well as those in trouble.

Highly recommended for those who truly want that special relationship to work!

This workbook for LIFE STRATEGIES by Phil McGraw was also very helpful! Life Strategies was a Great Book and this helped me a get some deeper connections about what he was saying and how it applied to me! It had some good results that translated into more effectiveness for me. It also help me get some insight on how to get out of some unproductive habits I had. I also feel like I can take on more challenges than I could before. I really like his no nonsense approach to things.

Other books I love and highly recommend are:

* "Habits of Highly Effective People" by Covey

* "Working On Yourself Doesn't Work" by Ariel & Shya Kane

I especially loved "Working On Yourself Doesn't Work" by the Kanes. It is a great book, simple yet with gems of insight. These are all great books I recommend to readers seeking solid, practical yet profound advice on how to be happier, more effective, and more fulfilled in life!

Not a typical "self-help" book, but a life prep course unfortunately not offered in schools. Read it, do it and learn to live it. Expand your control of your own life - but you have to do the work - it isn't a quick fix book - it is a book that will actually do what it says if you follow through.

Good luck and best to all who follow this path!

Before reading this book, I stumbled upon Dr. Phil's "Getting Real About Fat" three-part series on Oprah. After five minutes of part one, I was hooked. Dr. Phil's fresh & candid approach to getting your life straight is no less than life-changing. If you can get past your own theory of having a pretty good handle on life and opening your mind a little, I guarantee you'll realize what a fantastic tool this book really is. The best thing about this book is the fact that you can apply McGraw's Laws to anything in your life you'd like to improve upon or change. What's more, adapting these laws to your life and using them correctly on a day-to-day basis will save you from future failure. This is the first self-help book I've ever been intrigued to read. I can say without hesitation that it's the only one I'll ever need.

Usually driving down the road I love listening to the radio. But lately I have listened to Dr. Phil's tapes and he really makes sense. I find myself saying "YES" to all the things he talks about. If you've ever watched Oprah or the Dr. Phil show, the tape basically covers those topics. It is a taped show from an arena full of people. So he asks questions to the audience and lets them ask questions and respond. It makes the tape more interesting than if he were talking non-stop. He covers "life laws" in a well-organized manner. Easy to listen to. Not difficult to understand, and funny funny funny. A must have, even if you don't have any "problems" to work out, it is a great overall tool for living a fulfilling life.

I bought this book and read it cover to cover in one night. I couldn't put it down! Self Matters is now helping me to fulfill my potential as person by putting into action Dr. Phil's five step plan. I am shedding my "fictional self" and reaching for my "authentic self" with unabashed fervor. I will no longer find me through others and I encourage you to do the same!!!!! Buy this for you mom, your husband, brother, sister, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors and anyone else you know who is just okay. It's time for us all to be the AMAZING, WONDERFUL beings we were born to become. I know this is a life process, and it will take work, but with a little luck along the way and the guidance of this groundbreaking book, I WILL NOT BE THE SAME PERSON I WAS YESTERDAY!

Seriously, this is one of the best seminars I've ever heard. Dr. Phil's Life Strategies combined with his incredible speaking ability gives listeners the tools to change their life. He kept me so interested in what he was saying that I couldn't wait to hear what he would say next. The primary purpose is for YOU to change the things in YOUR life that need fixing and a hopeful consequence of those actions will also improve your relationship with your Significant Other & Loved Ones.

I can only hope that he will release even more seminars and other self-help books on different topics, as there are many other American epidemics that I'm sure he could help with. Hey Dr. Phil, if you're reading this, how about releasing more self-help books for things such as addiction, over-eating, or self-esteem?

Back to these tapes, BUY THEM TODAY (don't wait), borrow them from a friend, or rent them from your local library. You won't be disappointed! If you're looking for the motivation and the tools to change your life, these tapes are for you. The next step would be for your SPOUSE or SO to listen to them...

The workbook for Relationship Rescue has some very useful exercises. It definitely supplemented my understanding of my relationship and helped fill in for me some of the parts of the main book that I didn't understand.

While I like his "no-nonsense" approach - I also find that there are other books with a more balanced as well as spiritual approach that were also very helpful as well as as profound for me in my relationship. The two books that I am thinking of are not usually what people think of as "Relationship" Books but I highly recommend them. 1) The Mastery of Love, by Ruiz; and 2) Working On Yourself Doesn't Work, by A. and S. Kane. Both these books have deep insights about how to be more truthful, how to have more compassion, and how to not get caught in being "right", and to learn how to stop fighting your partner/lover/mate...and how to have harmony and happiness.

I would not have normally bought a book like this but for anyone whose ever been in a difficult relationship this book will provide eye opening observations into who you are and how well you know your partner.

By it for yourself, by it for a friend or loved one. You won't be dissapointed.

I am ordering two copies of this workbook. I have the Relationship Rescue book already. This book is not only helping to save my marriage, it is also saving my life! When I first got the book, I asked my husband to read it and he complied to my suprise.A time later he was on the phone talking to his friend who was having problems with his wife. I heard my husband recommending this book! At that time did I realize there was hope......

I snagged an advance copy of this book and my husband and I , parents of three teenage sons, read it without ever putting it down. Wow! My husband questioned whether a man of 20 tender years could take on such an important and difficult topic.We say the answer is a resounding "yes"! Not only are the 10 life strategies scientifically well grounded, young Jay McGraw was raised by these laws, while struggling with all the typical issues faced by teens. Who better to write this book.

Jay writes with amazing clarity and uses examples with which everyone will identify. The real surprise about this book is that its message applies to every life situation, whether problem solving or achieving goals. Also, it would be a mistake for parents to assume that it is only a "kid" book. Parents must read it to better understand their own teen, and who knows, they may learn application of the 10 life laws for themselves.

Great Job, Jay McGraw. Thank you for a contribution to teens and parents alike that is beyond measure.

Please realize that the basic book that this workbook relates to is Life Strategies for Teens.... Without that book, this workbook will lose much of its ability to be helpful. My suggestion is that adults or teens read Life Strategies for Teens first. If you like that book, then get this workbook as well.

If you are buying Life Strategies for Teens as a gift for a teenager, I suggest that you also give the workbook at the same time. The workbook provides lots of questions, ways to develop ideas, and helpful projects that are designed to be done between reading fairly small segments of Life Strategies for Teens.

The workbook starts with 'A Quick Self-Check' of 12 revealing questions. You go on to write the story of your life. From there, you list stupid decisions, and consider what directed dreaming inspires you to think about. You self-examine which behaviors are working and not working for you. To help you 'get it' another section focuses you on models, skills you need, relationships, learning about other people, and breaking patterns that don't work well for you.

The fun really begins when you list experiences you would like to have, and begin tracking when you have those experiences. You go on to learn more about what you stand for, reward yourself for doing what needs to be done, and change the way you think about and talk to yourself.

Diving deeper, you will consider how your beliefs may be making you blind to opportunities.

When you are ready, you will start making some important life decisions. There's plenty of help for improving relationships, if that's part of what's needed.

Having developed that sense of focus, you go on to create your first life plan.

. . . And then the excitement really begins! You're on your way!

The whole project began with, "Dad, trust me, when it comes to teens, you don't get it!" Thus, Mr. Jay McGraw told his Dad, Dr. Phil McGraw, that Dr. Phil was violating his own first rule for Life Strategies, You Either Get It or You Don't. Mr. Jay had wanted to use Life Strategies to improve his own life, and found that it took him 6 years (from age 13 to age 19) to translate the lessons into a teen perspective that made sense to Mr. Jay. Mr. Jay was naturally appalled when he found that Dr. Phil had a book contract to do a book on Life Strategies for teens. The project was reborn in Mr. Jay's hands.

By the time Mr. Jay was done, he was no longer a teen, having reached the ripe old age of 20. But his memory of teenage perspectives is strong and salty.

Early in Life Strategies for Teens, he candidly points out that the teen did not buy this book. It was a gift from an adult, usually a parent. That's why I suggested that the book and workbook be given together as a gift.

I suggest that you read Life Strategies for Teens before giving it to anyone. That may be its greatest benefit. Mr. Jay does a good job of taking on the key psychological, social, and developmental challenges of the teenage years. As you visit these points of view, you can begin to see how your teenager might see you.

Life Strategies for Teens follows Dr. Phil's 10 laws. You can also read my reviews of Life Strategies and the Life Strategies Workbook if you want to know more about those resources.

Mr. Jay takes the perspective of what the payoff is from the teenage years. For example, he candidly points out that you can decide not to get good grades. But you have to understand that that means that you will get less respect from everyone, and have fewer choices after high school is over. Coming from a parent, that would have sounded preachy. Coming from Mr. Jay, it just sounds matter-of-fact.

If you have a pretty good relationship with your teen, a possible approach is to start doing Life Strategies yourself. Ask your
teen if he or she would help you with the exercises in that book. As you open up about your issues, hopes, and dreams, you may stimulate an interest in your teen. In the meantime, be sure you have a copy of Life Strategies for Teens and this workbook around the house, and be perfectly open about reading them. Who knows what might develop next? You could possibly start a dialogue by asking your teen to tell you what the three things are that you do that most annoy your teen. Then, see if you can do better.

Communication is the most important bridge to your teenager's development. Keep building that bridge daily, in ways that your teenager likes!

I picked up the book at the seminar in Orlando, Fl. for my 17 year old son. I read it and was so impressed that I wish I had bought one for every teen I know. It is poignant, easy to read and humorous. I believe "Life Strategies for Teens" goes straight to the core of every issue teens experience. Then it offers solutions. What a gift to our world of troubled teens. Thank you, Jay McGraw! Be sure that all of the teens in my life will find this book in their stocking this year. Thanks, Cam

Reading Dr. McGraw's book is similar to watching him on TV. He comes across as very likable, he grabs your attention, he doesn't sugarcoat it, and you feel that you can trust him and that what he has to say is valuable and based on experience. He has the energy of a charismatic coach who wants to share his knowledge of what works best, and hopes you will get it and use it. Here the message is that you need to bring awareness to the way you live your life and interact with people, in order to make your life experience one that is fulfilling and worth having. All along the book, he gives the readers assignments to help them develop the critical awareness that is key to an empowered life.

If you have been looking for that key , I also highly recommend the book "Working on Yourself doesn't Work" by Ariel and Shya Kane. The Kanes present their findings in a very different way from Dr. McGraw . They invite you gently to discover the path to transformation. They do not emphasize action but awareness. Their simplicity is profound. Reading their book is like touching the philosopher's stone. It shows you the possibility of transforming a mundane life into a magnificent one.

Table of Contents: One- Get Real; Two- You Either Get It, or You Don't; Three- You Create Your Own Experience; Four- People Do What Works; Five- You Can't Change What You Don't Acknowledge; Six- Life Rewards Action; Seven- There Is No Reality; Only Perception; Eight- Life Is Managed; It Is Not Cured; Nine- We Teach People How To Treat Us; Ten- There Is Power In Forgiveness; Eleven- You Have To Name It To Claim It; Twelve- The Guided Tour of Your Life; Thirteen- The Seven-Step Strategy; Fourteen- Finding Your Formula.

The titles of the chapters really give a good overview of what the book is about. The book takes goes through the different steps to reach a goal of success. He assigns "homework", like writing letters, making lists, or filling out questionnaires which help find the flaws that hold a person back. This book is worth buying because it works. It worked for me; I am only a senior in high school. It helped me improve my grades and my relationships with my peers and my teachers. This book can help you in any situation, whether it is trying to get along with your boss or trying to lose some weight for spring break, this book can help. Dr. McGraw's introduction is not the most exciting, but hang in there it gets a lot better!

"Life Strategies" is one of those rare finds, a self-help book that does not wallow in big words or esoteric concepts. Mr. McGraw outlines his steps for success in life in simple, direct, yet engagingly written chapters. The organization of the book is excellent throughout and reflects an author who has had extensive experience in dealing with people from all walks of life. He deals with concepts such as self-reliance, individual responsibility and similar notions often downplayed (or ignored outright) by other authors seeking to play into the culture of victimization. You will find none of that in Mr. McGraw's book; his main theme is that we are responsible for our own lives.

Once you pick up the book, it is difficult to put down; you will find yourself nodding your head at what you have always known in your heart, but do not always acknowledge in your daily life.

Dr.Phil is a funny, insightful guy. And his basic theories about achieving a satisfying life are seeminly sound. He has some truly useful guidance to offer. Unfortunately, Self Matters suffers from the same malady that afflicts so many self-help books: it takes forever to get to the point!
The problems these books all face is the same. The concepts they set out to explain aren't really all that difficult to grasp.
An explanation and perhaps a short example would be more then enough for most readers. Unfortunately this wouldn't make for a very seductive, impressive looking tomb or justify a hefty cover price. The authors therefore (most likely at the behest of their publishers) pad their subjects with redundant examples and obvious commentary. Most frustrating is their tendency to repeatedly tell the reader what he or she is GOING to learn at some later point in the book!
Rather than go on and on about what one is going to teach, why not just teach it?
While McGraw doesn't induge these tactics nearly as much as, say, the Mother of all Self-Help Padders, Tony Robbins, he still does it much too often. I was really up to read this book, but because of its repetitive, round-about manner I gave up three of four chapters into it. A slim volumn that gets to the point would be MUCH more effective.

With this book Dr. McGraw hits the nail on the head ... so to speak ... or does he put a mirror of truth in front of your face? Well, anyway, as usual McGraw is blunt and as direct as he can be and once again his advice is not for the faint of heart, because the reader may discover something very special or perhaps sensitive about himself/herself. This is McGraw's strategy and through all of this his advice is helpful and beneficial as he motivates to face the truth about one's self. Great book! Another book that has a more gentle approach, but is just as direct touching sensitive areas of one's life, and I highly recommend this book, is Dietmar Scherf's "I LOVE ME: Avoiding and Overcoming Depression."

I don't have anything AGAINST Dr. Phil, I just hoped it wouldn't
have a lot of really good food for thought, practical applications and wisdom in the straight, no nonsense approach that makes up Oprah's buddy, Dr. Phil.

Well, I couldn't help myself: this book is chock full of good stuff.

Not only that, Dr. Phil's voice rings through his writing so clearly that I can literally hear him talking to me as I read!

The approach in the book is very much a step-by-step approach working with a foundation of gathering evidence from defining moments in your life and then creating a plan of action through taking action upon positive, empowering choices instead of being "stuck" in the quagmire of your negative life history.

Dr. Phil reminds us to "Know your history so you can walk out of it."

He tells on himself more than once, describing his own episodes of "creative stupidity" which had me howling with laughter.

Another lightbulb moment for me and a pure "Dr. Philism" was the
reality that we are, in every moment, contributing or contaminating our relationships. Wow. That alone is worth the purchase of the book: especially in reading the supportive paragraphs.

Like I said earlier, I didn't WANT to like this book. The main problem there is too much tangible substance that I can use to apply to my life in a positive way that I can't help myself in giving it a high rating.

The book of the same title is relatively good, but the companion workbook is a waste of money! It requires you to have the original book to work along with it.
Get the REAL book which also includes the exact SAME exercises that are featured in the companion, with the exception being the companion includes loads of empty space for you to be write in.
So, get the REAL book and get a cheap journal to write in those exercises (instead of this costly, redundant workbook), and leave this companion on the shelf.

As the title plainly states, this is a COMPANION book and is NOT meant to be used as a replacement for the Self Matters book. This helps greatly with organizing the written exercises in the book itself. While, yes, you can just as easily purchase an empty journal, I enjoy the ordered format of this workbook. It kept me more inclined to do the exercises as they are asked of you, rather than reading the whole book first as I had done the first time, I just skipped over the exercises altogether. If you're not as disciplined, having this workbook encourages you to work out and actually DO the written work, which is a vital step in reaping the benefits of Self Matters. I highly recommend it.

I can honestly say that this book changed my life. I followed the exercises and within 4 months, I had tripled my authenticity score. This book, and it's journal companion, helped me set goals and achieve them. "Waiting for You: An Heirloom Adoption Journal for My Future Child" is now my dream come true. THANK YOU DR. PHIL! :)

He is a Psych 101 class at his most prolific and was fortunate to be exposed to millions of life's washouts and rejects that wake up every day looking to feel sorry for themselves in order to have drama in their sorry lives. I love the revolutionary idea of having a wife count to ten and list the ten things that upset her to her husband of 20 years---as if she didn't wake up every day of those 20 years reciting that list to her beleaguered husband of 20 years. Dr Phil is right up there with Miss Cleo when it comes to his ability to offer advice and it is a shame, because the people that tune him in and buy his books, are people that really need help. So Oprah brought him in as the heavy to tell her sniveling guests to stop whining. I've been saying that for years!

Dr. Phil has such a talent for "telling it like it is". I love having this calendar because I can read his encouraging words and ideas every day. I was too impatient to wait, the night it came I read every calendar page! It looks great on my desk and is a great conversation piece : )

I was dissappointed in this journal, because it seemed like more of a workbook. I was expecting more of a self help book, not a book which I had to write my own opinions. I bought this book to hear the opinions of another person, that is not what I recieved. I do not think that is helpful, but if you like to do exercises, go ahead and try it.

If you have read Life Strategies or have completed any of the exercses in the Life Strategies Workbook, then you are already on your way to self-discovery. Both are excellent self-help tools and highly recommended. However, this journal is not like the original book or the companion workbook and readers could be very disappointed. There is nothing contained in this journal that would lead one to self-discovery other than what the reader actually chooses to write. You are not prompted for ideas, thoughts or feelings but left to your own resources to express your own thoughts. There are a variety of basic journals on the market, many for more outstanding than this one, so invest your money in the Life Strategies book and the Life Strategies Workbook and pass on the Self-Discovery Journal.

This journal will help you to map out and record your quest for self-discovery and enlightenment. The lay out is great and you will find all of the extra tools and hints are useful and somewhat inspiring. Dr. McGraw has done it again! I also like to use this journal to record my personal growth from a book by Matt Pasquinilli called "The Child Whisperer." Even though the book is written with parents and teachers in mind, the ideas are simple to understand and apply to any person of any age.