The old adage, "Ignorance is bliss," could have been applied, a couple of generations back, to just about every human endeavor. But today, when it comes to making marriage a success this philosophy is deadly. And as post modern society continues to redefine what marriage is and what constitutes a successful one, the rate of divorce continues to skyrocket.
But this does not have to be so when resources like Maurice Lamm's book The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage are so easily accessible. Mr. Lamm wrote for the common person in 1980 with the hope of answering the question, "How do you make a marriage work in this modern world?" In its '90's reprint it still stands as a definitive work to help Jewish couples succeed in their marriages. Mr. Lamm, however, needs to be introduced to a much wider audience. Christian marriage mortality statistics have rapidly, in the last two decades, caught up with the numbers of the greater society. In some Christian circles the rate of dissolving marriages may in fact exceed the rest of society. Some Christian perspectives may be challenged to accept the teachings of Judaism on any subject. But the crisis of marriages in the Church could just possibly permit Christians to read Lamm's work with humility and an open mind. Once into his tremendous treatise, Christians will be exposed to a profoundly biblical approach to marriage. They will find ancient and timeless answers to the problems of making a man and a woman live together as one in harmony and bliss.
Most helpful to the Christian church, which remains a bastion of the Romantic Movement and of sexual confusion, is Lamm's exposé on the role of sexual desire and satisfaction in marriage. His presentation of the biblical view of romance clears away the shaky ground upon which most relationships are being founded in the Hollywood driven tradition. His revelation of the intricate ways the rabbi's have ruled to help people make "perfect" matches is thought provoking. Reflective people looking for their beloved ones are given tremendously helpful criteria based on generations of experience and application of the wise rabbis to assist in their modern day search. And finally, any serious Christian worker will want to read this book to have a broader and better educated view of biblical marriages with which to counsel broken relationships in the church.
Lamms style is straightforward and easy to understand. But don't let that fool you. His book is thoroughly researched and will give more than enough resources for the one who needs to know more. As an ordained, Evangelical minister of twenty-five years, I recommend this work without hesitation to all who desire to live distinctive biblical lives.

If you are Jewish and want to get married read this book first. It covers the wedding and related issues as well as the question of how to know whom to marry in a clear pleasant fashion. I read this after I met my wife, in preparation for the wedding so that I would fully understand the wedding day and all the other issues. Reading and understanding the material in this book really enhanced the very special day of our wedding and laid the foundations for our marriage together.

Rabbi Morris Lamm is a well-known and well-regarded author of books on Jewish practice. Regardless of the level of one's observance, this book is well worth reading and owning.

This is simply a wonderful book! I love the way it points out the value of adversity in our lives that is so often overlooked, finding hope in the darkest nights of our souls. Yes, even when things seem to be going terribly, terribly wrong... there is tremendous value in finding the gifts that Hope brings us in these trying times.

One of the greatest powers of Hope is that it gives us the courage to open our eyes and see our lives clearly when crises appear. It does this by helping us grow in ways we could never have guessed. Hope also helps us by allowing us to find and feel compassion for ourself and others... and by leading us to spiritual awakening.

Lamm draws on his lifetime of work as a religious counselor serving all faiths to present fascinating true stories of the power of hope in people's lives. It helps that some of Lamm's friends are fascinating people, too -- like Alan Alda, Nobel prize-winner Elie Wiesel, author Harold Kushner, and Shari Lewis!

I especially love Lamm's ten point plan that turns hope into reality... he clearly describes in practical terms the things we can do to have the courage to live true to our inspiration and dreams.

My father had just died and I was given this book by his synagogue. As I spent the week sitting shivah with my family I read through it. It was comforting, informative and very very helpful. I think it would be helpful not only to Jewish mourners but to anyone who has lost a loved one.

I turned to this book when my father died. I found it to be a comprehensive and indispensable guide. I still take it with me whenever I visit the cemetary so that I can use its text for graveside prayers.

This book provided all the answers I needed.

It was factual, clearly-written, easily-referenced, religiously-balanced, logical and, overall, very useful.

I read this book several years ago while I was ending a relationship with a man I trusted. When I finished, I wish I had read it before I got seriously involved with this man. It turns out that I was trying to buy his affection, & in the process I bankrupted myself. Now I'm advising every young working woman to read this book before getting into a serious relationship with any man. Maybe what happend to me won't happen to you, but reading this book will help you avoid the pot holes in the bumpy road of male/female relationships.

This lady knows her stuff and will guide you through obvious blunders and situations you have never heard of before. Even single ladies would be amazed at the little things that can mess up your financial situation.

As one who has recently converted to Judaism, I would recommend this to all those considering conversion to Judaism, no matter what pathway they have chosen to follow. This book covers conversion to Orthodox Judaism and is somewhat derisory about any other path to join this wonderful spiritual home. However, the realization of the exclusivity and lack of tolerance of Orthodox Judaism towards other sincere Jews is important for all converts to appreciate, even if it is difficult to understand. From that point of view, this book is a good starting point.

Rabbi Lamm's book is very informative, very comprehensive and very forcefully argued. He pulls no punches and strongly makes his case that (to him) the only real/authentic conversion to Judaism is the Orthodox conversion. I found his arguments very convincing, and ultimately I guess I decided NOT to convert on account of this book. Which is not to say I didn't enjoy reading it...I did, very much so. I have been disillusioned by Christianity since early childhood and I was amazed just how "Jewish" my ways of thinking have been over the years. I am adopted and sometimes I do wonder if maybe my birth mother wasn't really Jewish...I think the odds are strongly against it, but it might explain a lot about myself if it were true. I enjoyed very much the testimonials of converts and their "what I don't like about Christianity" criticisms. I found myself nodding in agreement more than once.

But I realized paradoxically that I agreed with Lamm's unspoken assertion that Orthodox conversion is the only real authentic route but also came to understand I could never have the self discipline to live up to Orthodoxy's stringent standards, either.

I used to joke to a friend who is converting under Reform auspices "It's really too bad you can't convert to SECULAR Judaism", to which she responded with a laugh "but honey you can, it's called REFORM!"...we used to have some interesting arguements, since I started pondering conversion because of this friend. I always found myself lining up with the Orthodox and Conservative interpretations while she always lined up with the Reform tradition.

I guess I'm too much of a hellenic sensualist, too much a pagan Stoic to fit the Orthodox-Jewish mold. I guess I could always undergo and finish the rigours of Orthodox conversion, stay in an Orthodox synagogue for a year then see if I might want to change over to Conservative or Reform Judaism later...but that's just a little too intellectually dishonest, maybe.

I don't consider myself a Christian anymore, really...I agree with Judaism too much for that. I still like Jesus, but don't much care for the institution of the Christian Church that came out of that tradition later.

Roman Stoicism tends to be my LEBENSPHILOSOPHIE for now. But I respect Rabbi Lamm's well-argued thesis.

Maurice Lamm's book carefully toes the line between Jewish law and human compassion. I disagree that this is a book for Orthodox converts only: it is for anyone who seeks to become a *serious* Jew.

Some have commented that this book is hopelessly biased towards Orthodoxy. This is an expression of Lamm's desire to deal honestly with painful and potentially divisive issues. Yes, some movements will tell you you don't have to know (or do) all of this to become Jewish. But if you're serious about becoming a Jew, only Lamm's book will help you not only learn *about* this religion, but also try it on for size.

Some movements will hide the details from you, give you an "easy" way in. If that's the Judaism you want, you will find it an easy, but not very rewarding, path. Lamm gently gives you all the hard AND heartwarming stuff, in this single thick volume.

Rules and regulations are not necessarily a bad thing -- they can make the path clearer and easier to follow. Would-be converts are often put off by demands that they keep kosher or observe Shabbat -- "Why should I, if I already FEEL Jewish?" But you couldn't become a U.S. citizen, either, just by saying you already "feel American." You've got to know what all of it means first, and that's what Lamm gives you here.

In this book, Lamm expertly balances his halachic (legal) perspective with stories of actual converts and a realistic view of issues that Jews-by-choice may be facing. If you're serious about Judaism, you owe it to yourself to find out -- in all its gory detail -- what this religion is actually all about.