Any person who is interested in the healing arts should have this book. It provides the reader with great observation tools to evaluate a person's condition.

Anyone who must deal with eyewitness testimony should read this book! It is both fascinating and disturbing.

I note a trend in popular psychology toward a focus on a single emotion. Perhaps in the future every human emotion will have its expert, just as entomologists specialize in beetles or ants or wasps or flies, etc.

At any rate, Ciaramicoli's "practical guide" for self-improvement is distinguished from other similar programs by the author's intense focus, his caring concern, and especially his use of "empathy" as the guiding principle. Ciaramicoli broadens the usual definition of empathy past the point of normal recognition. "All living things are wired for empathy" he asserts (p. 35), and he specifically includes "slime molds" and in fact gives a rather intriguing explanation of why he thinks slime molds have empathy on pages 24-25. In reading this sincere and caring book, I found it necessary to just accept his terminology and not quibble about definitions or the fact that slime molds are not "wired" even metaphorically, because essentially Professor Ciaramicoli is correct in asserting the tremendous power of empathy to help us understand ourselves and others. I wonder, though, how much would have been lost had the word "empathy" been replaced with the word "love."

Ciaramicoli, who is a clinical psychologist and a member of the Harvard Medical School, gives examples from his personal life and from his practice demonstrating (to his satisfaction) the power of empathy to change people's lives for the better. He works hard at making a distinction between, say, sympathy, which "seeks to console," and empathy, which "works to understand" (p. 38). On page 166 he quotes Gretel Ehrlich to the effect that empathy is stronger than sympathy because it contains honesty while sympathy may conceal. Consequently he sees empathy as a double-edged sword that in the hands of enemies or in the hands those who make a practice of exploiting others, can work for malevolent purposes. Clearly "empathy" used in this sense can be replaced with a phrase like "a thorough understanding." But whether empathy for, say, Saddam Hussein or even for O.J. Simpson, would or could change them for the better is, to my mind, debatable.

Ciaramicoli was led to write this book in part because of the tragedy of his younger brother who died of an apparent intentional, self-inflicted overdose of heroin. He expresses a sense of guilt about his brother's wasted life and writes that he believes, had he and others been more empathetic, the tragedy could have been averted. I am not so sure. Of course Ciaramicoli should realize that he is not his brother's keeper, but more importantly he should know that heroin addicts are not freed from their addiction and their self-destructive behavior through empathy, and Ciaramicoli should not in any way blame himself. Of course if you are a successful older brother, who is everything the younger brother could not be, it is hard not to feel some sort of guilt, something akin to "survivor guilt." Ciaramicoli would do himself a favor by studying the literature on heroin addiction and listening to the experience of other families who have experienced similar addiction tragedies. I think such knowledge would help him overcome his profound sense of guilt. (A little work with evolutionary psychology on the nature of dominance among siblings wouldn't hurt either!)

Although I don't agree with some of the psychology expressed here, I certainly agree with Ciaramicoli's intent to help others. He writes about responding to the tears of children in "comforting, reassuring ways" instead of with indifference. No one can disagree with that. However, if a child is rewarded whenever it cries, it will tend to cry more, and when the child is older, if its antisocial behavior is rewarded with "empathy" to the exclusion of a clear expression that what the young person is doing is wrong, the young person may be led into continued antisocial and ultimately self-destructive behavior. It has been said that "to know all is to forgive all," meaning if we knew all the circumstances that led to a person's behavior we might well conclude, "there, but for the grace of God, go I." That is empathy, for sure. Nonetheless we, as a society, must still punish the transgressor, lest others be lead astray.

I think this is a book that may resonate with some people where other books have not been helpful, just as the author's notion of "empathy" may work where the usual guiding principle "love" has not. I really think it boils down to "The Power of Love and Understanding," but I suspect that book has already been written many times over.

Many self-help books that are offered to readers today rely on "POP" psychology theories that lack personal experience. This approach, in my opinion, lacks depth, soul, and originality which in many cases is born from painful experiences. Dr. Ciaramicoli, on the the other hand, courageously weaves his private and professional life experiences throughout the book and pierces through to the souls of all those who read it.

Reading "The Power of Empathy" reinvented the term for me and made me realize the dark side of empathy, which is often displayed when we manipulate other people for our gain.

To sum up, I applaud Dr. Ciaramicoli for his courage to share his personal story to me--the reader, regarding the struggles he endured as it gives me hope and a feeling of connectedness which, in my opinion, is the essence of empathy.

Absolutely wonderful book which explains how empathy can be used to improve relationships. The reader learns early on that Dr. Ciaramicoli was compelled to write this book because of his younger brother's suicide. The book contains many examples of empathy's power and each story urged me to read on. Dr. Ciaramicoli's book has allowed me to have a better understanding of my own personal relationships and I thank him for it.

This book is to spirituality as riding a rollercoaster is to physics. It is not a read; it is an experience. Kurtz and Ketcham have managed to tell their own story in such a way that the reader is invited to share in that experience.

Finding this spirituality of imperfection in Alcoholics Anonymous and the twelve-step program, K&K have scoured spiritual writings throughout history to find the words to describe their experience. Boldface quotes and stories color almost every page.

K&K find the essence of the spiritual in human imperfections and failure, in the inevitability of pain. Spirituality is not the evasion of consequences or errors, but rather learning how to live with them. They call trying to be perfect the most tragic human mistake. They are clear, spirituality is found in asking the right questions, not in finding the right answers.

Perhaps every reader of this book will not be able to hear it's music. Perhaps only those who have been wounded by life, need it. Perhaps only those who have drunk deeply of failure will find nourishment here. All I know is that I did, and to Kurtz and Ketcham I will always be grateful.

For the intellectual or the experiential reader, this text is a must on their shelves, next to Jung's "Memories, Dreams and Reflections", and James' "Varieties of Religious Experience". Its simple approach to exploring the concepts of spirituality via stories brings unattainable truths down to a level of "keeping things simple". Although the text devotes a large portion to the spiritual traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous, the book unearth the universal truths of the "Twelve Steps" for the non-alcoholic or newly sober alcoholic.

from the author of DREAMING YOUR REAL SELF: A PERSONAL APPROACH TO DREAM INTERPRETATION; and DREAM BACK YOUR LIFE: A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO DREAMS, DAYDREAMS, AND FANTASIES.

I read THE SPIRITUALITY OF IMPERFECTION at the end of 1993, at the suggestion of a friend. I had hesitated to read it because it was "a recovery book" and I expected that designation to limit its benefits. What I found, however, were stories that confirmed that to grow we must be willing to fail and make mistakes. This is what it means to be human. With this book's encouragement, hope, and humor, I embarked on my speaking and writing career, willing to blunder and to learn from others. Since then, I have recommended and bought this book as a gift many times. I list this title in my handouts for nearly all of my self-help classes and in the bibliographies of the books I write.

I feel obliged to write a review, as this book has been instrumental in enabling me to "catch" my alcoholism in its early stages. ~10%+ of the population are born alcoholics; heavy drinking, esp in teen years, can bring it out in others. Alcoholism really is a progressive disease, not a matter of willpower. Ask yourself: Do you handle your alcohol well? Drink more now than a year ago? This book explains that alcoholism really is a PROGRESSIVE disease. Most alcoholics -- and budding alcoholics -- were born with a predisposition to it. Learn why a "strong will" won't help overcome this biological affliction, unless you stop drinking altogether. Understand why "moderation" will not work for the born alcoholic.

Citing the latest hard, cold facts of the most modern scientific discoveries, authors prove beyond the reasonable doubt, and state both loud and clear: Alcoholism is NOT a flaw of character, NOT a weakness of will, but the physiological disease, over which a person, stricken with it, has no control! And it's an equal opportunity disease, striking good people from all walks of life: blue collar workers as well as admirals and generals, senators and congressmen, farmers and sailors, high school dropouts and college professors, beggars and millionaires, idiots, geniuses and our neighbor, everyday common man and woman... (...)

People are different, authors claim and prove in great detail. Some 10 to 15% of us have a gene, which creates different enzymes within our system, which in turn make highly addictive chemicals while processing the ingested alcohol within our bodies. Human brain is uncapable to resist the craving for alcohol, caused by those chamicals, which are never produced by the bodies of non-alcoholics. Therefore, alcoholics are not more guilty of having alcoholism, as cancer patients are guilty of having cancer, or diabetics being ill with diabetis.

The only solution to the disease of alcoholism is professional, medical treatment, followed by warm and sensitive care of the family, support groups, and society. Punishment, consisting of creation of severe stress, humiliation and application of strong mental and spiritual pain won't work, only making condition worse. Much worse! Primitive and superficial psychological counseling won't work, either. Only complex, modern, professional treatment will.

Great reading for anyone affected by or interested in the disease of alcoholism. A must for judges and prosecutors, busy sending ill people into the sewer pipe of industry of "corrections"! And those few members of MADD, who REALLY want to decrease incidents of drunk driving by fighting its causes, not symptoms, by helping alcoholics to get well, not just looking for an outlet of their hate and anger, which are the most destructive and counterproductive of all human emotions.

This is absolutely the best book I've ever read on alcohol & alcoholism. It's authoritative and all encompassing covering all aspects of the subject including medical, psychological, nutritional, educational, social, legislative, and spiritual. And it's written in an easy to understand manner that keeps you interested and wanting to find out what else the authors have to say.

This book is very good. A little deep reading but, very good information on natural and self healing. I am a cliet of Jason's for accupuncture. I have severe allergies that I can actually say I have been cured of with accupuncture and chinese herbs. Jason is a truly blessed healer. His new book has wonderful promises and will be easier reading.

I enjoyed this thoroughly. It has so much truth, about living in balance w/nature and oneself.

For many alcoholics and those who live with them, it's not enough to know that this disease is a mysterious "allergy." Under the Influence explains the physical aspects of alcoholism in a matter-of-fact, easily readable form. The authors follow the progressive stages of alcoholism with clear descriptions of what the disease does to the way the liver, the brain, and the emotions respond to alcohol at each stage.

This book explains how the bodies of alcoholics metabolize liquor differently from those of non-alcoholics, and the changes in the brain that take place over years of continued drinking. (It confirms, for example, the observation that many late-stage alcoholics' function deteriorates as they go without liquor for a number of hours). After a complete description of the stages of alcoholism, it provides some insight on intervention and treatment, and some valuable information about treating the physical aspects of the disease in sobriety, with proper diet and rest in addition to AA attendance.

Nothing in Under the Influence will replace the role of the experience, strength and hope of other alcoholics in helping alcoholics recover. Yet this book provides valuable information, especially about the often-overlooked physical aspects of the three-fold disease of alcoholism.

I have now read five books on this subject, due to family members and a dear friend being alcoholics. This is the most readable, "states it like it is," book I have read. Many, many questions are answered when reading this book. For me, of particular interest, was Chapter Five, wherein "The Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome" is described...it explains my friend exactly, and the doctors (three so far) are not picking up on his being in this stage, even tho they know he is an alcoholic! The information on types of food is especially good, and the authors are correct, that FEW (if any) doctors discuss the very important role of nutrition counseling!! I am getting three of these for family and friends and feel it will really help them understand others and themselves. I am most pleased to see that it is still in print. I got my copy from a friend about a year ago and just started re-reading it and realized it just "hits the bullet" as the saying goes, and is one that the alcoholism counselor (that originally gave it to me), had UNDERLINED and highly recommended.

Before I read this book I had the slightest clue about my past and present relationship with alcohol. I was especially intruiged when they named off to the dime, the feelings of anxiety, isolation, guilt, and shame that I was feeling. All this time I was looking for reasons to blame my family for the way that I felt. While reading this book, I realized that my binge drinking on the weekends had been deteriorating my relationships with real people. And alcohol, my best friend, was the one doing it! This book offers fundamental information about alcohol and alcoholism that every single person should know.

Many people think that we store our past visual experiences as intact images in the brain. Research, however, shows that this concept is not accurate. The visual recollection of an event has to be recreated by assembling bits and pieces of memory into a whole picture. Our recollection of events is thus often distorted. A variety of psychological experiments have been conducted that demonstrate this phenomenon. Subjects shown a picture of an office later, when asked to recall the photograph, put items such as bookcases or a calendar in the scene that were not actually there. Other aspects of the office are forgotten.

Elizabeth Loftus, an internationally known expert on memory, applies research and her experience to the topic of eye witness testimony in the legal setting. The book attempts to be both entertaining in its often informal presentation of case histories, and modestly academic in presenting psychological theory and research. The case histories for the most part describe trials in which eyewitness testimony resulted in the conviction of an innocent person. Loftus shows how inaccurate recollections combined with inappropriate police photo and lineup presentations can cause a witness to create false recollections. As a side note the book also shows how fallible juries can be. All in all this book provides further proof that eyewitness testimony is not superior to circumstantial evidence.

My only criticism of this book should probably be directed toward the co-author. This book is oriented toward the general public, and the case descriptions are often fluffed to create the "true crime" approach used by writers in that genre. What I found particularly amusing was that, in a book devoted to the topic of fallible memory, Ms Loftus recalls minute trivia that most of us would normally forget within a day. She relates, for example, that in one case she had just finished eating a breakfast of coffee and wheat toast. The coffee had just been put in front of her when the lawyer for the defendant walked into the restaurant. Beyond this attempt at verisimilitude we are presented with a memory of an extremely inconsequential event -the breakfast, and its delivery timing- ten years after the event.

This book is an important read. It demonstrates vividly the inaccuracies of memory, and it presents the subject in a format that would entertain most courtroom novel fans. Author Loftus has written a variety of books including a recent one -The Myth of Repressed Memory"- that debunks repressed memory. A classic of hers is "Eyewitness Testimony" that is oriented more toward psychological theory and research.

This book is easy to read and gives the lay reader many illuminating insights into the work of this well known and respected forensic psychologist. Above all, we catch a glimpse the human side of Elizabeth Loftus, who works not only out of professional commitment to good science and judicial process, but is also moved by her compassion and empathy for persons accused.

This book is worth reading, if only to study the author's thoughts on Ted Bundy for whom the author testified as an expert witness. On p. 74 the author wonders if Bundy will offer to let her stay in his apartment. On page 83 she describes him as "adorable...all Ivy League charm, clean-cut freshly shaved and showered, bright and eager." And then on page 84 she decides that while everything about Bundy seemed right--his suit, hair and expression--that she decided that Bundy was guilty when he smiled the prosecuting attorney.

I am 17, and bought this book to learn more about growing into a beautiful (spiritually speaking) healthy woman, inside and out. I've learned a great deal from this brilliant book, and would recommend it to anyone, male or female, who wants to learn more about themselves or the women around them. It's a wonderful learning expierience.

Dr. Loftus and Ms. Ketcham make many good points about a few notorious cases where people have been convicted of criminal offenses based solely on testimony of "memories" that have suddenly been "recovered" after years or decades. Some of these cases involve accounts outlandish and bizarre events like cannibalism and widespread cult ritual abuse. Others arise from misguided psychotherapy techniques, at least as described by the authors. Unfortunately, the authors appear to argue from these extreme cases that =any= memory that surfaces after a long period of repression, suppression or otherwise being "forgotten" must be false. Dr. Loftus recounts her own experience of recovering memories and later learning that they were inaccurate. From this, she concludes that any recollection of distant events is inherently unreliable. The authors spend most of the book denouncing so-called "repressed memories," saying that there is no demonstrated physiological mechanism for the phenomenon. Yet at one point they describe the well-known phenomenon of traumatic amnesia, which has a widely accepted physiological model. Traumatic amnesia, as described by these authors and others, would appear to account for the "repressed memory" phenomenon that is denounced in this book. Being a lawyer, I recognize that Dr. Loftus's book will serve to raise "reasonable doubts" in laymen's minds about the accuracy of recovered memories. That's all a defense lawyer has to do: to blow smoke without proving a thing. I believe a psychologist should aim a bit higher, especially when dealing with a widespread phenomenon like childhood sexual abuse.

This book was the first book I read that provided clarity around repressed memories and their impact on families. It presents the slippery slope initiated by well-meaning people (therapists, psychiatrists, other survivors)trying to help a person recover from a painful childhood experience that leaves the person unable to effectively cope in their everyday world, separating them from family and friends. I was particularly appreciative of two chapters: Loose Spirits and Lost in a Shopping Mall. It provided grounding for me in "how" the pattern of paranoid behaviors and hallucinations could be triggered. It also points out the necessity of finding a therapist who is willing to challenge what seems to be "real memories". It provides hope that recovery truly is possible, if the right help can be found. Thank you Dr. Loftus and Ms. Ketcham.

I am a family member of a person suffering from this debilitating phenomena. Watching the degeneration of a loved one is painful for everyone but particularly painful when "others" reinforce the unreal memories and put the family in a position of no longer being able to help someone they care about. I wish my sister would find a "good therapist" who would allow her to retrieve her soul and her life the way the women are doing in the Loose Spirits chapter.

This book is a much-needed cry for sanity, much like Sagan's _The Demon-Haunted World_. The author, Elizabeth Loftus, is a well-known and well-respected psychologist who specializes in eyewitness memory; anybody who has taken a Gen Psych course should recognize her name.

As a budding psychologist, I found Loftus's comments on the therapeutic community both insightful and well-directed. Her arguments are powerful and difficult to deny; she convinced me shortly after the first few chapters.

Sexual abuse is a problem. A big one. But attempting to root out totally unconfirmed instances of sexual abuse is, as well. Loftus tries to walk a line between compassion for people who have truly been abused and those who believe they have, and scientific accuracy.

Her sharpest knives are reserved for the therapists. The tools of therapy used to "recover" abuse memories which have no corroborating evidence are the same as those used to "uncover" reports of alien abduction, past lives, infant memories, and ritual cult torture. All the above are truly unlikely, so why would memories recovered using this method about abuse be any more accurate than memories about big-eyed aliens?

All in all, this book does a marvelous job in presenting its points and should be a must-read for any serious student of psychology. It shows what a fragile thing memory really is; a lesson we all need to learn.