Gerber's recommendations for caring for infants are direct and to the point, without the "come on, just try it" tone that baby experts sometimes fall into. She doesn't need to talk me into using her approach because it struck me immediately on a gut level that if I were an infant, I would want to be treated this way. Heck, as an adult I want to be treated this way.

She recommends simple, profound gestures that you can use from day one to show your infant that her feelings and preferences are important to you. They include telling your baby what you are going to do before you do it [ie. "Mommy's going to pick you up now"] and other basic ways to connect with your baby as a separate being rather than an object.

I've read Dr. Sears, Burton White, Penelope Leach, and others. There's useful nuts-and-bolts stuff with those other authors, but Magda Gerber's "Dear Parent: Caring for Infants with Respect" is a must-have addition to your parenting library.

This book takes a couple of hours to read and will make a huge improvement in my approach to parenting.

Magda Gerder's approach to caring for an infant with respect is a WONDERFUL approach to parenting. I am so glad I found this book. If you're looking for a parenting book from birth to age 3, GET THIS!!! It is worth reading!! The nuts and bolts to Gerber's approach is treating your baby like a person- with RESPECT. She explains the importance of observing, how to handle those "sticky" situations (for example when your child bits), and why it is important to talk to your baby. Gerbers idea of respecting an infant sounds "commen sense" but you realize when you read this how often parents are not necessarily "respectful". In this day of running here and there, Gerber slows us parents down and brings a true enjoyment to being parents. Her approach to parenting is not only respectful to the infant but also to the parent! In the end you have a child that respects you and you that respect the child- not so bad!! I have a truelly wonderful relationship with my daughter, thank you Magda Gerber. I highly recommend this book!

I found this book to be a great support. I try to follow the works of Magda on a daily basis. She is a women who I highly respect. I really encourage parents nation wide, not just in California to read and learn from this book.

This book explores the "proper" method to raise a child who is self-confident and respectful. I know there is no "right" way to raise a child but I feel the more informed I am the better my decisions will be. This book employs a philisophy the author terms RIE (pronounce WRY)-Resources for Infant Educarers. RIE adheres to the following principles:

* Basic trust in the child to be an initiator, an explorer, and a self-learner

* Time for uninterrupted play

* An environmnet for the child that is physically safe, cognitively challenging, and emotionally nurturing

* Involvement of the child in all caregiving activities to allow it to become an active participant rather than a passive recipient

* Sensitive observation of the child in order to understand her needs

* Consistency and clearly defined limits and expectations to develop discipline

A couple of examples given in the book covers getting your child to sleep and communication. RIE recommends that you always put your child to bed awake. Why? Babies are aware of their surroundings. If a baby is lying in the living room and wakes up in a bed, it is confusing for the child. Another example is talking to your child. When you are going to change a diaper, it's recommended that you communicate this to your child and ask for her cooperation. This allows the child the opportunity to process this information and prepare for the activity as well as enable them to become a participant rather than a recipient.

I finished this book and found it extremely illuminating. For me, the things that stood out (i.e., things I didn't think about while around babies) are:

* Talk to the Baby, not about it

* Treat the Baby as a person not as an object. They have feelings and those feelings should be respected. If you want to do something to the baby, ask first. By asking, you are able to establish a routine (an area where children thrive) and they know exactly what to expect.

* Crying is Okay! Babies can't talk so they must cry to communicate. Instead of "hushing" or "quieting" a crying baby, let the baby cry and try to observe what is wrong with it. By immediately picking up the child, you are telling the child that what is really wrong (e.g., you are grumpy) is not important and being quiet is.

I am sure that some will disagree with this book and some will agree. I found this book right on in its approach and have decided to employ this philosophy with our first child. Gerber writes in a converstaional tone with easy-to-understand wording and structure. I highly recommend this book for anyone interested in parenting!

It is often said, "When you don't know what to do, you do what you know." Without the RIE approach, I would have repeated many of the very serious mistakes my mother made.

This book so articulately describes the "how to's" and "why's" of child-rearing. There are very few unanswered questions. It is a wonderful guide book not only for raising children, but for relating to people of all ages. Magda Gerber reminds us that frustration, anxiety, fear and other stresses are normal experiences for parents and children. Even with the struggles life dishes out, one can realistically build a life-long relationship with your infant by modeling respect.

One of the many of the messages I came away with from reading this book is that aside from the obvious fact that parenting is hard work, it also can be fun and we have the right to relax and enjoy it. Magda Gerber presents guidelines that really work because they are so logical. The experiental aspects of the RIE approach in raising an infant are described in a clear, understandable and applicable way. I wish it were required reading for all parents.

This book is now the gift I give to all my friends who are parents or soon-to-be parents. My only criticizm is that the book ended.

Wendy Kronick - Los Angeles, CA.

I read this book when my son was 14 months old and began implementing Magda Gerber's philosphy of respect for infants and toddler's. It is amazing to my husband and myself how easy it was to gain the cooperation of our little boy just by explaining what we would be doing and giving him time to participate in his own care.

Primary times for interacting with your child are diapering, feeding and bathing. These times are no longer tasks to be hurried through, but moments of communication and interaction that set the stage for a lifetime of relating.

The book also addresses the needs of parents. It is the first book I have read that truly deals with the family as a unit. Realizing that parents also have needs and are better at parenting when these needs for rest and time apart from the infant are met was very helpful.

Also helpful were the ideas around creating safe areas for Noah to play in ... both indoors and out as a way for him to have space and time alone.

Allowing Noah to have his feelings when something comes up that doesn't suit him was another area that the book deals with. It is ok to be mad or upset or uncomfortable...and as a parent not to distract my son from being upset, which seems to be a knee-jerk response at times. It never occurred to me that just acknowleging Noah's feelings was enough. I didn't have to give in to all the demands to keep peace in the house. In fact, our home is very peaceful since implementing Gerber's ideas.

This is more than just a parenting book. It has helped me be more present with my son.

I only wish I would have discovered this book before we had our son so that I could have done some of the things she suggests earlier in Noah's life.

It is a book that I enthusiastically recommend.