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I read this book nearly 10 years ago and found it very helpful. As a pastor of over 23 years and a survivor of a few humdinger conflicts, it was comforting to know that conflicts have patterns. It also helped me control my own responses.
I wouldn't wish church conflicts on a dog, but they seem to come (to most of us in the ministry, not dogs!) no matter what precautions we take. But they can often be contained early, and this book can help. It will also help you accept that conflict is common and to be expected, therefore leading us to the conclusion that one should be as prepared as possible. The chapters are all pretty good, but those written by Speed Leas excel.
The time to read this book is before (or early on)conflict begins. Every pastor needs to be prepared for what is inevitable. Lay leaders (board members, etc.) can also benefit from this book. Also helpful would be Terry Muck's book, "When to Take A Risk."

This is a fine book with some great specific suggestions.

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The Church has a place of spiritual mission to preach and reach the world with the Gospel and lay loving hands on the sick to heal and deliver the oppressed. The ministry of the Church is to extend through every member of the Body of Christ, facilitated by worship and pastoral leadership. However, this vision and the mission of the church can only come after the discipline of personal devotion. Pastor Jack points out that worship and servant-hood are to be pastoral priorities. It is the fountainhead of everything the Church will ever have - God's presence, His power, the guidance of the Word and the Holy Spirit, the healing of souls, bodies, families, and the evangelism of the lost.
This book has been a timely word. One of the more refreshing attributes found in this book is the fact that Pastor Jack always avoids disputes on matters where Christians disagree, and defends those beliefs which Christians hold in common. His work has transcended denominational lines.My personal ministry has been greatly impacted by this book. This book is a very enlightening and refreshing work of the Holy Spirit through Pastor Jack Hayford.


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and tells you the in-depth meaning. Very
refreshing.





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In addition to reading the book, I attended Dr. Roberts' three-day Pure Desire Seminar, which is intended for pastors who want to start a ministry for sexual addicts in their own churches. During the seminar, I (and others) directly questioned Dr. Roberts and his staff about their methods, theology, etc. Their answers backed up what I read in the book, and my interaction with them showed me their genuine desire to see people healed from the bondage of sexual addiction. Finally, I visited one of their For Men Only (FMO) sexual addiction healing groups as part of my seminary internship, and I found it so helpful for my own struggles that I have stayed with it for almost nine months and counting.
Basically, I have found the methods and ideas presented in the book to actually work in real life. For example, one of the main healing strategies Dr. Roberts advocates is to become part of a small group where men can "confess [their] trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that [they] may be healed (James 4:7)." I have seen a number of men go through the FMO group I attend, and there seem to be two types. First, there are the ones who know they have a problem (usually because they have gotten into trouble due to their addiction), but are not really ready to deal with it. These men tend to stay for awhile, and then leave the group to go back to their addiction. Second, there are the ones who have truly hit bottom and are willing to persevere on the long road to healing. It is these men who are honest with their struggles, and therefore they avoid such traps as rationalizing and compartmentalizing their addiction. Sure, we all take turns with discouragement and despair, and lapses do occur. But when others are there to lovingly bear the burden and provide accountability, it helps us get through the valley and go back up the mountainside. Of all the small groups I've been in over the years, this one has by far been the best for my own personal healing. Therefore, I can vouch firsthand for Dr. Roberts' exhortation to avoid the trap of isolation (which makes it easy to act out) by becoming part of a healthy group situation.
I believe that the central theme of Pure Desire is the restoration of healthy, loving, and holy relationships with God, self, and others. Sexual addiction is a symptom of a deeper relational problem. It is a sinful solution to a real desire for intimacy on the part of the addict. Pure Desire presents a way out of this trap that works if you really want to follow it. No, its not easy or quick, because true healing in this area takes time. And to be honest, it can be difficult to find help for this issue due to the closed-minded attitude of some churches toward sexual issues and problems. But it is possible, because I have found Christians willing to help, and over time I have observed healing gradually taking place in myself and others. If you are struggling with sexual addiction, you need to read this book (and others like it) and get help. You can pay now by owing up to your problem and getting on the road to healing, or you can pay later with your marriage, your reputation, or even your life. It's up to you, man.

In addition to reading the book, I attended Dr. Roberts' three-day Pure Desire Seminar, which is intended for pastors who want to start a ministry for sexual addicts in their own churches. During the seminar, I (and others) directly questioned Dr. Roberts and his staff about their methods, theology, etc. Their answers backed up what I read in the book, and my interaction with them showed me their genuine desire to see people healed from the bondage of sexual addiction. Finally, I visited one of their For Men Only (FMO) sexual addiction healing groups as part of my seminary internship, and I found it so helpful for my own struggles that I have stayed with it for almost nine months and counting.
Basically, I have found the methods and ideas presented in the book to actually work in real life. For example, one of the main healing strategies Dr. Roberts advocates is to become part of a small group where men can "confess [their] trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that [they] may be healed (James 4:7)." I have seen a number of men go through the FMO group I attend, and there seem to be two types. First, there are the ones who know they have a problem (usually because they have gotten into trouble due to their addiction), but are not really ready to deal with it. These men tend to stay for awhile, and then leave the group to go back to their addiction. Second, there are the ones who have truly hit bottom and are willing to persevere on the long road to healing. It is these men who are honest with their struggles, and therefore they avoid such traps as rationalizing and compartmentalizing their addiction. Sure, we all take turns with discouragement and despair, and lapses do occur. But when others are there to lovingly bear the burden and provide accountability, it helps us get through the valley and go back up the mountainside. Of all the small groups I've been in over the years, this one has by far been the best for my own personal healing. Therefore, I can vouch firsthand for Dr. Roberts' exhortation to avoid the trap of isolation (which makes it easy to act out) by becoming part of a healthy group situation.
I believe that the central theme of Pure Desire is the restoration of healthy, loving, and holy relationships with God, self, and others. Sexual addiction is a symptom of a deeper relational problem. It is a sinful solution to a real desire for intimacy on the part of the addict. Pure Desire presents a way out of this trap that really works if you want to follow it. No, its not easy or quick, because true healing in this area takes time. And to be honest, it can be difficult to find help for this issue due to the closed-minded attitude of some churches toward sexual issues and problems. But it is possible, because I have found Christians willing to help, and over time I have observed healing gradually taking place in myself and others. If you are struggling with sexual addiction, you need to read this book (and others like it) and get help. You can pay now by owing up to your problem and getting on the road to healing, or you can pay later with your marriage, your reputation, or even your life. The path you choose is up to you.

Pastor Roberts delivers an incredibly powerful teaching based upon his life experience. His experiences (which make "Pure Desire" riveting) are plentiful and relevant to this subject. Ted's challenges growing up (seven stepfathers in an alcoholic environment), his fantastic adventure as a Marine fighter pilot in Vietnam, his commitment to Jesus Christ, his battle (and victory) against addiction, and Ted's twenty-plus years in the counseling office all contribute richly to a message that will help people move out of their cell of despair and into the full blessing of God.
The Lord has placed His hand on Pastor Roberts, giving him a mission and a message for those who are ensnared in the web of addiction. If you struggle with sexual bondage and wish to change your habits, "Pure Desire" will describe how to do that. This book delivers a gracious word that will give you hope and encouragement and a practical approach to overcome destructive habits.
If you are not battling addiction, "Pure Desire" will provide insight and understanding of the behaviors (and mind set) that block so many from reaching their God-given dreams and desires. This book offers insight on how to help others climb out of the pit of shame and step into the fullness of God's love.
Don't miss this spirit-filled message. It will enrich your life.

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Since reading "This Was Your Life?" in 1999, there is not a day that I do not think about living for THAT DAY instead of just TODAY. I have now bought over 400 copies of the book and about 20 copies of the video series.
I have distibuted these copies resulting in overwhelmingly positive and grateful responses. Most people have had similar reactions to mine and have in turn ordered more books to give to the believers they knonw. There is just no way to measure the far-reaching impact this book will have on eternity.

The authors guide the reader through a personal soul-searching exercise that peels away all self-deception until the individual's true core is exposed. Then, they guide the reader to an uplifting knowledge of how to truly follow Christ. The book is filled with practical instruction on how to change.
I have already given away ten copies to friends. After reading it, several have said to me, "This is exactly what I have been looking for!"
