I first devoured this book about 9 years ago & it saved my life, literally! I could not leave a very sick abusive man, even though I was terrified of him, even when he degraded me, even when it made my hate myself & feel disgusted at my seeming powerlessness to leave. This book SAVED my LIFE! I was able to break my lifelong patterns of choosing women haters, violent batterers, charming seductive snakes whose only goal was to drive me insane & break me in pieces emotionally until I had NO self-worth, self-respect, NO SELF at all left. Why do we stay hooked in harmful relationships? It's not always physically abusive, sometimes they are emotionally & verbally abusive to the point that you no longer know what is real. You want so badly to believe the lies & excuses, hold onto the hope that your lover will change if you just love them enough, I know he really loves me, she/he's just having a bad day, etc. If you've ever been in any type of relationship that you knew or suspected was harmful but STILL could NOT leave, you know the shattering pain of addiction to a person.

This book tells one how they became addicted & why, how to recognize a bad relationship, how to deal with the power & guilt trips your partner uses to keep you hooked, that jealousy & possessiveness do NOT mean love, how to get through the breakup without going back, & how to break this pattern for good! I could have gone through years of expensive therapy & still not received the exact help or understanding that I needed to set myself free from addictive relationships. I just bought a new copy of the book--it is timeless, worth much more than the cover price of...(therapy could cost thousands, take years & have less results). I recommend getting at least 2 because you won't want to share & we always know at least one person trapped in addictive relationships. You're worth it, right? :-)

After many painful relationships and subsequent break-ups; I realized that I had a relationship addiction stemming from my emotionally challenging childhood. I have done an enormous amount of reading in this genre in order to continue to heal myself - Howard Halpern's book has been an enormous source of understanding, validation and hope. It is a well written book - I found myself underlining so many parts for future reference and though I usually discard books that I have read - this one I will keep and refer to often. I really highly recommend it to all who struggle with heart-breaking and non-reciprocal relationships which occur consistenely. True connection is out there and with the help of Dr. Halpern's book - we will all find the connection that we want and deserve without paying an emotionally usurious price.

I recommend this book for anyone who is stuck in a bad relationship and want to get out! This book made me see how I wasn't facing the truth and it was staring right at me! It made me realize that I was worth something and didn't deserve to be treated the way I had been. It helps you evaluate the situation that you are in, and gives you the tools to know whether it is time to move on or stay and fight for your relationship. After reading this book, I gained the confidence and self-respect to say "no more!" I've never felt better about myself! Please, if you feel the same, buy this book. You won't regret it!