This book was interesting and uncovered a lot dynamic aspects of blacks in the U.S. There were somethings that made me think to my own personal experiences with dealing about certain issues such as inter-racial dating, Affirmative Action, all black lunch tables, legacies and the lack of diversity at institutions of higher learning. However, there was one thing that was too outrageous and that was the author's nose job experience. I believe that people who receive nose jobs or whatever type of plastic surgery are looking for some type of self-esteem that can be purchased and race is not always a factor. People want to look their best and are willing to fork over the money to do it, but one thing you have to remember is that we are not getting any younger and who really cares that you have a big nose, full lips and big ears.

If you can at least accept that a possibility exists in which upper middle class blacks face alienation from two groups - less fortunate blacks and white professionals - and have a stake or interest in exploring this situation, then I'd recommend reading Graham's collection of essays.

That said, the "book" is not without its faults. The "book" is rather a collection of essays, which vary considerably in depth of analysis, amount of insight offered, and suprisingly relevance and importance. Nonetheless, Graham succeeds in his ultimate purpose: provoking thought about a type of race relations that is not often dramatized on the evening news.

Buy the book. Read it with an open mind. Reflect on Graham's arguments and anecdotes. And you will likely come away with a new perspective - one that is neither intuitive nor given much attention.

Harvard educated lawyer Larry Graham went undercover as a busboy at a fancy blue blood country club and was shocked to find out that in private even nice, educated, old money Northerners say some horrible things about black people. The experience was a huge awakening for Graham and is the major part of the book.

But don't overlook the esays that make up the rest of the work. "Dinner with Mr. Charlie" is pricless. If you are black and want to eat in NYC you must read this one. Graham went to several well known New York restaraunts and reports on how he and his guests were treated. The next time I'm in New York I won't be eating in any of these places! "The Harlem on My Mind" essay is heartbreaking as is the "Black Man with a Nose Job" piece. Graham keeps beating his head against an inmovable barrier. Despite his education, nose job and fine career he isn't and can't ever be a "member of the club" and that's the one fault of the book. I kept hoping that at some point he'd conclude that being a member isn't worth the pain and humiliation but he never does. It was a satisfying read. At turns it's funny, pitiful and maddening. I rushed out to buy Graham's next book, Our Kind of People as soon as it hit the bookstores.

I am pleased that someone has finally broke the code of silence surrounding the black elite. They do exist and are often viscious and small-minded. The book is useful in that it has helped me understand some of the petty, ridiculously superficial, name-dropping black elites that I have personally come across. The book is also useful because it puts blacks of all other economic-classes on notice that there is yet one more group conspiring to shut them out of certain opportunities. The book is tainted however, by obvious contradictions and the author's own painful memories which skew his perspective.

For example, Mr. Graham repeatedly mentions and complains about a "brown paper bag and ruler test" by which blacks with skin darker than a brown paper bag and hair that is not as straight as a ruler are excluded from the elite circle. Mr. Graham clearly doesn't pass this test himself (despite his nose job), and yet he is a member of the elite circle. The pictures of black elites, from the 1890s to the present, showing many dark skinned/kinky haired people, also contradict his assertions. Clearly, there are issues in the black community about physical features (both European and African), but Graham's own evidence suggests that having African features does not seem be a bar to admission into the black upper class.

Mr. Graham had bitter memories of petty and insensitive comments being made by other black elites about his African features and, I gather, felt at times on the fringes of elite Society. This explains why he harps on the issue of skin color and features througout the book and seems to take revenge on his former "tormentors" by casting them in a most disparaging light. His personal experience may also be the reason why he omits any discussion of how black elites make equally painful and derogatory remarks about blacks who are "too light" and white looking and how they now marginalize and even exclude very fair-skinned sisters (and sometimes brothers, but less so) from job opportunities and black social life, in attempt to make-up for preferences given to white looking blacks by conservative whites years ago.

A personal criticism: Although I'm glad he wrote the book, it seems to me that if one is going to accept all of the benefits of membership in this elite group, as Mr. Graham has, one shouldn't tell tales out of school. Mr. Graham may be well educated and successful, but he is no gentleman.

I'm inspired by Graham's "Our Kind of People". It proves that blacks have been--and continue to be--just as capable, intelligent, wealthy, and appreciative of the finer things in life as our white counterparts. Our young people need to know this part of our history as well as our struggles against slavery and segregation. I believe that our children deserve to attend the best schools and live in good neighborhoods like everyone else. However, I am sobered and saddened by the seeming lack of real desire on the part of the black elite to reach out to the masses of their less wealthy brethren. They seem to feel that their clubs and social groups are solely for them. They fail to see the need to take all this good breeding and social graces and educate our black youth in the inner cities. I'm privileged to have been a former debutante in a cotillion that was open to girls of all socio-economic backgrounds, directed by a wonderful woman who saw us as having potential and didn't judge us by the bank accounts and social status of our parents. The black elite listed in Graham's book would probably never have given someone like myself--a teenage daughter of a working-class divorced mother--the time of day. The early black elite such as Booker T. Washington, Madame C.J Walker, and Mary McLeod Bethune saw education and wealth as a means to uplift our people, not to look down their noses at them. Let us remember that those of us in the 21st century who have been blessed by God with wealth and education have a double responsibility to be a blessing to others. If I am ever blessed to be where "these kind of people are" financially, I will teach my children to judge people by "the content of their character", not the size of their wallet!

I have just finished reading "Our Kind of People" and applaud Mr. Graham for writing about a not too well understood sector of the black population in this country. As an "Alpha",a Ph.D. scientist at a leading research institute, and a medical school professor, I have had much contact with the so-called "black elite" on a professional and social basis. However, after reading Mr. Graham's book, I have a much better understanding of the lives of a unique group of successful people who happen to be black. As for the critics of this book who have spewed forth vitriolic comments and unwarranted personal attacks on the author, I say "shame on you." Do you attack white authors who write condescendingly about blacks? - I think not. Yes, I agree that the subject matter in this book is uncomfortable to some extent (no one likes snobs), but it is also inspiring to read about blacks who have a legacy of success. I look forward to Mr. Graham's book tour to my city so that he can autograph my book and I can personally congratulate him on the courage to write a book that he knew would be controversial. Let us all encourage this brother to write more books.