I got this book when I was 13 (in 1985) and now I'm buying it for another 13 year old. Sol Gordon presents the facts in an interesting and colorful way without preaching and without getting too serious. He includes fun and creative exercises in self-analysis and self-appreciation. Most of all, this book is a refreshing read compared to the kinds of scare tactics used to warn kids about sex and drugs today. He encourages kids to use their heads when making decisions that affect them. Although it looks a bit out of date (due to the artwork and slang) it is still right on. Good stuff.

Sol Gordon really knows what a human being needs to do not only to survive but also to blossom in the world. This is NOT one of those "You're OK; just say no to drugs" treacly teen books that parents want you to read. It confronts the fact that life isn't always nice and fun and happy and instead helps you work on developing your skills to be strong enough not only to survive whatever badness you're going through now, but also to make your life and relationships better. Gordon also doesn't pretend to have all the answers and a perfect life himself; he just seems to be really good at sorting out what is worth doing and what isn't. I think most people could benefit from reading this book even after they are teenagers. The only bad thing about this book is that it was originally written in the 70s so sometimes the language is a little silly (like when he talks about things being "a major bummer" and "head trips" and stuff like that), but the book overall is definitely worth it.

The theme of this book - how to help a friend when they're going through hard times - is important. Gordon describes the nature of friendship and support groups, responsibilities and rewards of being a friend, and barriers which confront even the best of friendships. The meat lies in chapters which present a variety of challenging situations, from abusive relationships to terminal illness and death, describing how friends can overcome obstacles and help.

This is a WONDERFUL book for parents of all kinds. The Gordons understand how complicated it is to teach kids good sexual values--without being negative about sex--in our sex-crazed world. This book provides practical advice that covers a wide range of issues, such as: self-esteem, how families have changed, the media's sexual messages, school sex education, why kids need more than "just say no", and what to do when kids think they're "in love."

Since parents are often embarrassed about this whole thing, the Gordons give lots of suggestions about how parents can deal with their embarrassment. They also suggest ways parents can open conversations about sexuality, and they provide lists of questions (with great answers) that kids of different ages will probably ask.

It's hard enough being a parent--at least the Gordons make this part of parenting a little easier.

A great gift for every teenager you know. Gordon gives examples of "pick-up lines"
and good comeback lines to them. Something to help young people retain control of a
situation without embarassment. If Conservatives really want to lower teen pregnancy rates they
should give every teenager in America a copy! The day I got my first copy it was a hit with
my dinner companions - except for the man who said "Hey, that's my best line! What am I
supposed to say now?" Alice E. Hadle

THIS BOOK IS AN ABSOLUTE MUST FOR THOSE IN ANY BRANCH OF THE MILITARY AND FOR THOSE ENTERING THE MILITARY. FROM PAY TO ANY AND ALL BENEFITS, THIS BOOK COVERS IT!

Sol Gordon takes a very complex and painful issue and explains it in a more digestible form. While those who are experienced with depression and other affected disorders may find that he does not go into enough detail (the "What else is new?" complex), I'm sure they will appreciate the kind, gentle style of writing. One can almost feel the author right beside you, speaking to you the very words you read. I was also pleased to find that he dedicated a section to the effects of homosexuality on adolescent depression. An already hard-to-reach portion of the population, Gordon's readiness to accept sexuality differences will go far in helping GLBT teens to find comfort admist animosity. Moreover, the slightly religious glow of the language does not alienate readers from a non-Judaic faith. The book will be of great use to many people facing depression for the first time, desperate for some sanctuary.

I read this book while I was incarerated. This book help to lead me back to my path of God. And to understand myself, the crime I commited and why. I read this book in an hour, I was and still am forever touched by this book. I have looked in local bookstores for this book and have not been able to find it. I think this book should be put in rehab. facilities for all to read. I honestly believe they can change the story to fit anyones life and their addictions. Thanks for this wonderful life changing book.

I'm a friend and husband of the person who gave me this book(also going in for a liver transplant) It helped me to see all sides of the situation it's not a cure all -- but it does make you think right.

Good for spurring conversation: also provided a 'neutral' source for child to review & discover. Our daughter has spent additional time with text to reinforce the conversation.

When looking at books to read with my child, I was worried that some would go too far, but some would not go far enough. This book is very direct, explanatory, and complete. It covers issues of both genders, which is so important as adolescents try to understand what everyone else is going through. The illustrations are complete, but not overly, and the topic of sexuality is explained in a way that actually inspires a values conversation as a next step. This book was a really healthy read for us with our child, and I plan to use it with our younger children when the time comes. My mother actually read it with me also!

Dr. Gordon's, Why Love is not Enough, is a great book to read for those contemplating marriage or are engaged and want to evaluate their relationship.

should be required reading for every human being on the plane

I am usually not one for reading self-help books,but I was given this one by a good friend of mine and ordered to read it. So I did, and what I read was quite impressive. The title of the book is certainly what the book is about, but the book is also about gaining self-knowledge.

Gordon himself says at the end of the introduction, "This book is about encouraging you to go on a self-discovery - to find your own voice." The book not only helps you examine your relationships and determine what you need in them, but it also helps you examine yourself - especially learning about negative things that you may carry into a relationship. The downside to this is that once you see all the negative characteristics staring you in the face, you become depressed and feel that you are not ever meant to be a relationship, let alone a good one. The upside is that once you look past the negativity, your mind starts turning, and you begin to realize that you can change things about yourself, and possibly about your relationship, but only if you want to.

Let me give you a personal example. I have been dating the most wonderful man on and off for the past 4 years. For at least 3 of those years, I was pretty certain that we were not meant for each other, but I wanted to be with him and couldn't reconcile my feelings. He didn't do things the way I wanted him to, he didn't say things I wanted him to say, and so on. Yet he was the sweetest, handsomest, kindest man in the world, and he was and is still completely in love with me. So what happened to change my mind? What happened was that I was given this book to read, and after reading it, I took a good long look, not only at our relationship as a whole, but at myself, and what I found was appalling. I began to see all these negative interactions that I would create between us, just because I had always done so with other partners. I began to realize that part of the reason he wasn't getting through to me, was because I wasn't letting him - not because I didn't want him to, but because that was the way I had always been. I realized that something had to be done, because I wanted to be with him. So I began to change. I viewed every interaction or exchange with him as a new challenge to me to see if I could respond in positive ways. I cannot express in words how incredible it was to see the change. I became a totally different person around him. He picked up on the positive vibes and began to react to me positively and affectionately as well, just like I had always wanted him to. I actually LIKED myself, and I finally fell in love with him. All I can say is that our relationship has been truly wonderful ever since, and I'm grateful that he stayed with me.

So I just want to tell readers that while you may think the book seems to condemn your relationship to the never-meant-to-be pile, make sure you dive under the surface before you decide to walk away. Gordon says, "What does matter is the active pursuit of closeness with another person, and making the effort to enrich your life through self-development." In essence, Gordon has written the perfect book - one that opens readers' eyes to many love and relationship issues, and one that challenges readers to examine themselves, and their relationships, and to make changes where they need to be made. The trick is knowing the "where." But if you remain open-minded and you want to change, you'll figure it out.

This book is really about finding your OWN center in life - knowing what you enjoy in life, what you want from a partner, and that you deserve to be happy and with someone that makes you happy. It then helps you look at the relationship you're in, and with open eyes determine if it's a healthy one for you.

The book isn't wishy-washy about this. He says quite openly, "By the way, about the dumbest thing anyone can do is to marry for sex. If sex is the only thing to look forward to in a marriage, don't marry at all. It's not worth it." That's the tone of a lot of the book - common sense. Don't put up with someone that enjoys insulting you. Don't confuse that rush of hormones in the first few weeks of dating as "true love which will last forever". With his years of experience, he helps you see common mistakes people make, and how to get through them.

He points out that too many of us are raised on quick-fixes these days. Magazines talk about the "27 signs you're in love" - featuring things like "you read his horoscope". People break off relationships as soon as they get the slightest bit difficult. He instead talks about the ways you really can know if the relationship is good for you, and that it's worth working on and getting to last.

Like all books, not every suggestion applies to every person, or to every situation. However, if you're able to read this with an open mind, and accept that your own perceptions might be causing some of the problems in your relationship, he'll help you find ways to change and grow into a more healthy situation.

Sol Gordon's theories on contemporary relationships are right on target. This book is based in reality, and not mired down in unobtainable notions of romance. His language is to the point and easy to understand, he is not spouting psycho babble or New Age rhetoric. Gordon points to very specific behaviors, both negative and positive, that I was able to recognize in myself as well as my past partners. Behaviors that can be changed once we are aware of them, and to look out for in prospective partners. I now see how I sabatoged relationships, and I understand more of why I did it. In Chapter 6, Gordon writes of our increasingly disposable society. We live in a world where everything is disposable, including relationships. Many people will just dispose of a relationship rather then work to fix it. Here Gordon challenges us to face into the reality of the situation rather then walk away. He encourages us to look at the relationship, and each other. If there is a chance that you can both emerge stronger and closer isn't worth the time? Admittedly, perhaps not all relationships can, or even should be saved. But how many more would last if couples really took the time to try to solve the problems? Or at least to reach a comprimise? Throughout the book, Gordon challenges readers to look into themselves, to look at our own issues, behaviors and faults. We are challenged to look at our partners, past, present and future. What are we afraid of? Do we become involved with the wrong people? Do we lie? Do we need to have control and refuse to compromise? And why? Personally, I found these challenges to be insightful and inspiring. True, it also made me angry at times, who really wants to look at our negative traits and mistakes? While Gordon is realistic about the negative aspects of relationships, he is never defeatist. I finished the book feeling much better about myself then I had in years. I understand more clearly the mistakes I have made in the past, and I recognize the mistakes made by my past partners. I also feel that I will be able to avoid making the same mistakes, not only in romantic relationships, but in all relationships. Some readers may find the blunt reality of this book disturbing, but I found it encouraging. Love is not a Julia Roberts movie or an article in Cosmo. Love can be intoxicating, boring, amazing and messy, sometimes all at the same time. I would recomend this book to anyone who has hit a troubled spot in their relationship, and perhaps more so to someone who is not curently in a relationship.

I would have given it more stars if it weren't for the focus on families with both a mom and a dad. Being a lesbian who is raising her 3 children without a dad present, I appreciated the one picture showing 2 moms, however, the rest of the book, instead of using the word "family", or "parents", continued to use the words "mom and dad". This was disappointing since it seemed to exclude single parents and families like mine.

This beautifully illustrated children's book introduces some simple but important ideas. It's not about the family that a child will one day have; it is about the one from which the child comes. Children don't pick their families; they have to make the best of what they've got.

Youngsters from non-normative families may see themselves for the first time in this book. Youngsters with friends from non-normative families may even learn a little sensitivity.