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This book remains one of Godwin's best. If you haven't read Godwin before, start here.
It is amazing how so few words can so richly convey Christina's aching feelings. The simplicity of the book lies in the scarcity of words and the simple and stark pen drawings of the very articles that serve as constant reminders and reinforce the piercing emptiness and grief. A favorite tumbler; a metronome that is an integral tool to Rudy's composing skills; a richly-grained wooden chair with a beautiful, tapestried pillow; an answering machine with Rudy's voice that Christina cannot bring herself to erase.
The chair keeps cropping up because Rudy, as his disease progressed, required sitting in an upright position and was probably all the more visible because of his forced confinement. Drawings, too, of the living room and descriptions of how they sat in proximity to one another, emphasize their closeness. They were woven together as a couple, as best friends, as collaborators in the co-creation of their home and individual work spaces...she an author...he a composer.
Christina chronicles her pain without being mawkish. No matter where she turns, the memories are present and what makes the agony still worse is that on the night of Rudy's death, she had unsuspectingly left to return home and was reading as Rudy was dying. Sadly, she recalls that she will never be able to read that author again. No matter how many moments were spent together, from their grand passion when they first met, to the quieter times, the intimacy that grew over the years, there was never enough because it's now all gone...forever! It cannot be re-created.
Religion is of some comfort to Christina, as are some friends, one of whom zeroes in on her drinking but it is in the seeking and in the finding of her own way that Christina can continue. And there are no easy answers, no and "she lived happily ever after". The final passage contains comforting words from Rudy, one of many things Christina recalls that he said. Memories are blissful, funny, poignant and pierce like a weapon!
This is undoubtedly one of the most intimate books I have read on grief and loss. There are many on how to deal with grief; how to become financially capable; how to resume dating; how to tell children about the death of their parent but this one is truly unique in its ability to deal with the simple, pure aching that occurs when a loved one with whom one has shared so much is removed from one's life. It is like major surgery with no anesthesia during the surgery or painkillers to dull the agony following the procedure!
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As an evangelical Christian, I found the spiritual dimension to be particularly deep, despite my lack of understanding of the Episcopal church. I especially resonated with the woman who discovered while doing laundry with monks that *she* is not responsible for finishing the task, only for performing her part of it.
I think this book is definitely worth reading, but it's not light summer fare. Be prepared to grieve with Margaret.
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Interspersed throughout Heart are anecdotes that give us intimate access into the author's "heart journeys." Godwin's description of her brother's death is telling. "Though the official cause of death was gunshot wounds to the head, I believe my brother Tommy died of a broken heart."
Particularly instructive to me was the section entitled "Absence of Heart/Heartlessness." Gilbert Osmond, a character in Portrait of a Lady by Henry James, illustrates the behavior of somebody "without heart." Gilbert lacks empathy--he is not able to "feel what it's like to want to give someone else something without getting something for it yourself." He appreciates Isabel Archer's efforts to promote his welfare, but doesn't understnad it.
All this and more await the reader in Godwin's ambitious heart-felt work. Her proclivity toward wordiness works better in her fiction, nonetheless, this volume is well worth your investment of time.
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This is a book for anyone seeking to know more about themselves or for anyone who is going through the horrors of catatonic depression. It will leave you with questions and answers. It is a book that could be read over and over because there are lines that are there for deep analysis.