Although one's heart breaks for the grief these two mothers have had to endure, it seemed to me that their vision had become somewhat clouded, and their energies cry out to be used in more producive ways. By all accounts, federal spending on AIDS is far above the levels spent on several other diseases which kill many more people, and which....in the case of cancer....the causes are not even very well-known. Surely, it is only humane to assist in the care and research of these other diseases in a more equal parity to HIV/AIDS. Even Sen. Helms was misrepresented, since Mrs. Clark claims he actually said "AIDS sufferes deserve what they get"...and that is a lie. He never said such a thing...nor has anyone else who objects to the over-funding of AIDS efforts vs the funding of other diseases. He merely pointed out that what causes a person to become infected with HIV/AIDS is very well-known...exactly as we know why smokers get lung and throat cancer. So...while these two grieving mothers (and their sons who suffered) engender much-deserved sympathy, one can only wish their considerable energy could be focused more on prevention efforts, and less on sill more increased...and unfair...federal funding.

Patsy Clark and Eloise Vaughn would probably be the first persons to say that they are not professional writers; yet theirs is a story that touches our hearts. After the deaths of both their sons from AIDS, they took on Senator Jesse Helms of North Carolina in an effort to upseat him. We all know they did not succeed in their efforts; nevertheless, they are winners of the highest sort. Althought the two women had led very different lives-- one was a Democrat, the other a Republican, they found they had much in common. In the words of Patsy Clark after these women's first meeting: "Both of our sons were named Mark--and that seemed huge to us. . . Both of us had led very mainstream, privileged lives. . . Each of us were widowed before our sons died, so each of us had to deal with that trauma alone. Neither of us had known that our sons were gay. . ." Another thing that they had in common was unconditional love for their sons and a consuming belief that no one, including the mighty Helms, would treat their sons as second class citizens because they were gay.

So we have another beautiful account of two ordinary women who did the right thing and we are the better for having heard their story. It is altogether fitting that Bishop John Shelby Spong, the kind and decent man also from North Carolina, should write a recommendation for this book and that Allan Gurganus should write the foreward.

A final word to "Phillojo," who wrote the next review of this book: Homophobia is homophobia, whether it is yours or the senator's. Unlike HIV, it can be cured, but only if you are a willing patient. May I remind you that for years there was precious little funding for AIDS research because of people like Helms and a president who could not bring himself to utter the word. The truth is the truth, whether you like it or not.

This heartfelt, moving book made me want to be a better person. The authors' eloquent prose made me reevalutate what is most important in life: your family and friends, and also helping to make life easier for others. This is what these two incredible, beautiful women have done. If they can do all they've done and continue to do at their age, why can't everyone try to do the same? I'm not talking about becoming an activist; I'm talking about selflessly helping others each and every day. It'll come back tenfold, if not more. Read this lovely story and you'll want to be a better person too.