Lynn Chancer puts her finger on dynamics that operate in all of our lives, usually at an unconscious level. She carefully analyzes the elements that constitute a sadomasochistic relationship, then sorts through our cultural arrangements. She finds sadomasochism is embedded in the fabric of our way of life; specifcally in the world of work and gender relationships. Surprisingly, at least to me, she points out that the sexual sadomasochism of the S&M sort is more civilzed than is the sadomasochism of everday life. The difference is that the S&M scene contains the dynamics, and also provides limits to those dynamics, as it is consensual, and personal limits are respected. As such, it is more like a parody of everday life. In everday life, where sadomasochism is unrecognized, its inherent destructiveness is also unrecognized. The limits which would make it social are missing. Those missing, necessary, limits have to do with our ongoing dependency on one another, with our vulnerability, with our very humanity. It is the absence of limits that makes the authority of the manager, the bureaucrat, the policeman, etc., into an oppressor and persecutor rather than a benefit to humankind. If sadomasochism is a perversion then, inescapably, we are a perverse society.

Consider the dynamics of sadomaochism: 1.There must exist binding inequality. (The haves and the have-nots for example. One without the other couldn't recognize itself.) 2.There is no mutuality. One dictates the other obeys. 3.The dialectic of the relationship creates flux. Internally the neverending search for fulfillment moves the relationship to exhaustion. Externally, people can switch positions. The sadist is a masochist striving to meet the demands of, and be recognized by, a more powerful sadist. 4.There are severe consequences for resistance.

This book was written 1992. The subsequent history of the World Trade Organization and its sponsorhip of capitalism without limits, the triumph of the ideology of the free market economy, and the increasing gap between the rich and the poor world-wide with no end in sight, is proof this book needs to be read and studied. Without it, I am afraid, we just don't know what we are dealing with.

One criticism I have of the book is I could not tell if Ms Chancer sees masochism as a position in which people have choice-a popular psychological interpretation-or whether she believes there are some caught in the position of the masochist through no fault of their own and are powerless to change it. I believe that the latter is too often is the case. Our failure to recognize it is our failure to acknowledge tragedy as a necessary companion to living and learning.