This is the most comprehensive book I've read on the subject of promiscuous males. I appreciate Carol's well-balanced research on the subject. Her compassion for both men and women on this subject is astounding. Most books on the subject of promisicuity solely blame the female partner for her male's sexual choices/addiction.

I originally purchased this book during the mid to late 80's and still have the original copy. I took a chance and loaned it to my best friend who was devastated by her husband's affair with a close female relative. I gave her this book as a last resort since I normally don't loan out my favorite books. After reading it completely, she returned it to me. Some years afterward, she indicated to me that she (half-heartedly, I assume) planned to do something terrible to her cheating husband, her female relative and herself. So I think Botwin's book may have prevented a triple tragedy. For sure, it helped me feel better! Thanks Carol.

I highly recommend this book to men who have gone astray and are trying to change their ill ways for the better. This book gave me the confidence to know why I was doing what I was doing. Rather than castigate men, the author tries to logically explain to the female and also male reader that having an affair, though bad, is not the end of the world. Life can be repaired and this book is part of the cure to remedy sins of commission from the past and present.

I truly feel to gain a more '''LOGICAL''' viewpoint toward why?And The Question is Why? One must read everything concerning you as a Human Being. And Questions will be answered through the intellectual and not so much the emotional. Otherwise, there would surely be alot more depression and tradegy in both men and women. This book is such an enlightenment to women especially. Because we have a tendency to blame ourselves for our man's behavior. We as women can learn alot from this book because we can see we may be creating our own stories here. Yet at the same time we as women must not take full responsibility in having to always be everything to our men. To where we blame ourself for his behavior.This book is alot about men and their feelings of creating more than they can handle and not being able to figure it all out. So I think men should read this book. Sex is not always the issue here.Women need to read this book to keep their self-esteem intact and also realize our own reasons for entertaining and continuing relationships with men who choose to be complusive. Knowledge is power and we as humans have many tendencies but we also have brains.We can choose to Learn to Love through understanding why we do what we do???? Please read this book or just read books that will help us through life. Love is what touches us all. And if we can learn to love our mates and friends I think reading will help us gain more than money can buy. And P.S. keep us from losing our self-esteem and dignity. We wouldn't want to kill someone would we??? ,.) Sincerely..PrincessColleen

Botwin has surveyed 250 women that were in or had an extra marital relationship, then categorized their experiences. She covers all aspects of an affair and recovery. For women that are thinking about, in, or have just left an affair this is a must read. Women will find that their "special" relationship is not so special...that 250 other women encountered the same joys, passions,and trials.

The author makes no judgements, but makes observations. She uses real women's experiences and stories to give an overview of the experiences a woman encounters. The book discusses the type of women that may fall prey to an EMR and the stages of that relationship. She also discusses how to help one recover a marriage after being in an EMR.

For someone who is involved in a relationship such as this, it was a real eyeopener and helped to put the relationship into perspective.