After listening to the warm and enlightening tape by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, "Warming the Stone Child" I realized that I needed to learn to mother myself. Dr. Estes said that even if one is 'unmothered' or not mothered well they can indeed learn to mother themselves and this would nurture and grow the internal mother within which would give them strength and inner security and help mend the gnawing hunger within for love which is often filled by addictive behaviors. So my next question was how do I learn to mother myself when I didn't have a good role model? This book is helping me to learn more about mothering and nurturing myself. Reading this book felt good deep inside and I could feel so many parts of myself being nourished by the authors words and grow stronger. I highly recommend this book to anyone who didn't have adequate mothering. It is also helping me learn to be a better mother to my own son.

I also recommend the tapes and books by Dr. Estes and the books of Victoria Secunda and Motherless Daughters.

Overall an interesting read, I found Mothers & Sons to have an inordinate number of references to Freudian psychology and Oedipal situations. The book bases it's conclusions on actual psychological case studies and sometimes reads more like a doctoral thesis than a guide to raising a loving child. while definitely insightfull it doesn't contain as much practical advice as I'd hoped beyond the obvious. On the other hand if you want to know what makes your husband tick......

While some might object to the overarching psychoanalytic tone, there is a lot to learn and enjoy here as the author incorporates personal experience, anecdotes, research and mythology into her account of the relationship between mothers and sons. I liked her early statement that having a son had moved her from a rigidly feminist position toward one that is more flexible and humanistic. The first section discusses the traits that are uniquely male, and contains chapters on male energy, male role models, male separation and love & sex. I thought this was particularly informative. The second section deals with various special relationships -- shared parenting, single mothers, stepmothers and gay sons. Final chapters deal with the mature relationship between mothers and sons.

The author writes from experience and with compassion, and this is a worthwhile book for mothers (and sons) to read.

As the mother of 3 sons, I found this book particularly insightful in exploring the unique role both parents play in their sons' lives. Fascinating interpretation of standard boy's fairy tales/stories -- such as Jack & the Bean Stalk & Bambi -- and the impact such tales have on a boy's coming of age.